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***Did you know...
in a single match Larson (Sissies we know it) once scored 1 touchdown, 1 casualty, 1 interception, 1 completion and 1 logical MVP-award at the end of that match. (Hence the saying :"He pulled a Perfect Larson," a regular Larson being without the MVP) He pulled of this legendary feat on 2004-07-21 against the Church Assasins.
***Did you know...
On 2003-07-21 Kelthanus Thundercall (Athel Lorien Guardians) once played a legendary match against the Gold and Azure Lords. The young wardancer not only pulled off a Perfect Larson in the first half of the game, but went on to score yet another touchdown and another casualty. By the end of the match Kelthanus, a High Priest of Nuffle had scored 1 completion, 2 touchdowns, 1 interception, 2 casualties and the logical MVP-award.
***Did you know...
the highest scoring Treeman ever is Moist Bark of Fylke's Foodeaters with 11 touchdowns. With his uncanny ability to stay in the woods practicing some running moves for the first half of the game, Moist Bark tended to take to the field on the second half and slowly bulldoze his way through the opposition. His amount of games decreased a lot after his frustrated coach told him : "Come in the first half or don't come at all !". Since then, Moist spent many a game being forced to watch the second half from the sidelines.
Today Bark is part owner in a candy-shop in Fylke, though he is more and more rarely seen in the town itself.
***Did you know...
Zom-Bees player Steve McMurder may very well be the luckiest animated corpse ever. Steve started a game against Apport! as a zombie, ended the game as a zombie, and in the process won two MVP awards for two different teams! Killed by a thrown rock during a kickoff, Steve failed to regenerate, leading to his return for Apport! His loss was so mourned by the Zom-Bees that he was awarded their MVP award. The Apport! fans were so glad by the near-loss of their favourite zombie that they also gave them their MVP award. Steve's achievement is further enhanced by the fact that the two MVP awards were the only SPPs he ever earned for either team!
***Did you know...
that the beastman Darth Kebab managed to play for 2 teams, die for 2 teams and survive to tell the tale during the final drive of the game against Graveyard Leftovers .
As he first played for the chaos team Horny and got killed by a block, he was resurrected. To the joy of the audience-gone-wild, he was killed again by a last minute foul. However, his will to play bloodbowl was stronger than death ! He regenerated and ended the game for his new team.
***Did you know...
that the famous Wood Elf Larson once held the record for 'most Star Player points scored during a single match by a Human lineman' . When Zweiblumen, a fine coach and personal friend of Larson sent Lord Splutticus (the CEO of Splutt Industries) a friendly letter to inform him of the fact that Larson was not human, but a wood elf with very round ears, the Recordopedia committee decided to strip him of his record ...
***Did you know that...
Nick Naughty, an extremely talented young Wardancer (Power UP) pulled off a perfect Larson in his first ever Bloodbowl-match on 2004-07-08 against the Merry Flower Tribe . Nick Naughty is the first ever Bloodbowl-player to score a 'Perfect Larson' and the only known Bloodbowl-debutant to have succeeded in this feat...
***Did you know...
that Puhlease (Rollers van twee) once had to face 11 angry Norse opponents all by himself. While hearing his few still living teammates moaning and groaning from the injury boxes, he managed to get a quicksnap on the touchback. He ran through the opposing lines of defense as a knife cutting through butter, dodging as if his life depended on it. (well actually it did)
When he finally neared the endzone he survived one of the most gruelling blocks ever, involving (according to some sources) 11 Norse opponents (though some critics question the physical probabilty of this feat). Trying to stay upright after having miraculously survived the block, he stumbled into the endzone and scored a 1-man (or rather a 1-elf) touchdown against an 11-man strong opposing team...
***Did you know...
Gwen who managed to play 48 matches without scoring a single star player point, was becoming quite a celebrity but "it's" fame started dwindling once Gwen scored a fluke touchdown in a match against the Mall Rats on 2003-01-19. In the "Who's Who in Bloodbowl" Gwen's most important acclompishments are described as follows : Got his 15min of publicity when he was noticed to have a severe lack of talent.
***Did you know...
the famous stand-up comedian Nosy Nig managed to get the MVP-award for his team in 6 consecutive matches. Though he didn't make a single touchdown, completion, casualty or interception in those 6 matches, he got the MVP's for the hilarious trashtalk he shouted at the Squigs to motivate them.
***Did you know...
a certain Olly "the Crowder" played 21 matches without acquiring a single SPP. What follows is a short excerpt from his biography : Having spent most of his short life at the bar, Olly had developed quite a talent for standing around, doing very little physically, and frequently getting beat upon. He still transfers these skills to the Blood Bowl field seamlessly...
From the Who's Who in Bloodbowl (edition 2504)
Everyone keeps telling Triggerfinger that he should put an end to his protracted career. His family has been trying to move him to the retirement castle for ages now.
Despite this pressure, Triggerfinger remains loyal, and wants to serve out his life-long contract. After so many blows to the head, he has stopped realizing that he is injured, and believes that he is still the backbone of the team.
He refuses to stop playing Bloodbowl, claiming the only way to go out for him, is to die doing what he loves the most. With a violent glaze in his eyes, he goes for big guy after big guy, desperatly seeking a glorious death.
From the Who's who in Bloodbowl (edition 2505)
With tears in his eyes, the coach had to go tell Triggerfinger that the team would be better of without him. Triggerfinger didn't understand. "But, I'm still at the top of my game, I am the star of the team !", he shouted out.
A lot of manpower was needed to drag Triggerfinger to the retirement home. Now, he spends most of his time there staring at the wall and playing bloodbowl against imaginary opponents in the garden.
***Did you know ...
that the Greyspire Tarantulas are the oldest active team in FUMBBL. The Tarantulas were originally conceived as an advertising gimmick by Killer Koval's Exotic Pet Emporium, the largest pet shop in Greyspire. The team was named after the shop's best selling pet, the Lustrian ground spider, famous among affluent dark elves for its 400lb. size, docility toward children and proclivity to pass gas when company comes over. Koval created the team by buying the contracts of has-beens from the dark elf minor leagues.
The Tarantulas' first few games involved playing well-established company teams, such as the Nuln Associated-Haberdashers-and-Bonnetmakers Fidoras and the Bretonnia Armor-Emporium Shields. The Tarantulas were roundly trounced in every match. Adding insult to injury were the uniforms the Tarantula players were forced to wear: bright purple and red outfits,a garish drawing of a spider on the front, with "Buy Yourself a Fuzzy Fiend at Koval's Today!" on the back. The routine beatings continued for several months.
Eventually, however, the players tired of the treatment. Abkhal, an aspiring young talent from Greyspire who signed on for a ham sandwich, dediced the team needed a different direction. As the team was on the road playing a game, Abkhal snuck from his "hotel room" (a horse barn where the team was staying), snuck into Koval's suite and slew him. In the ensuing weeks, Koval's descendents tried to lay claim to the team as part of their inheritance, but anyone from the family who made an ownership claim disappeared, occasionally returning to Greyspire in a barrel. Eventually, Koval's family found other things to invest in and the team was purchased by the dark elf noble Pittston the Remarkably Insane, who still holds ownership.
Pittston, knowing a good business opportunity when he saw one, bought some of the brightest dark elf talent available from the draft and entered the team in the FUMBBL, a league that offered more competition, money and a bigger spotlight than playing the likes of the Kislev Furry-Lined-Coat-Producers Beavers. The team has done fairly well, though an excessive amount of player deaths has forced Pittston to significantly increase player salaries to keep them from going into less dangerous athletic pursuits, such as dragon-boxing or kicking giants in the crotch and seeing if one is subsequently faster than said giant. Pittston has also chewed off his right index finger, though this has nothing to do with the play of his team or anything relevant to this biography. For the Tarantulas, the future is bright, probably because the head coach, Markus Grieve, has lit himself on fire in an attempt to motivate the team .
***Did you know ...
that Peikko, an infamous, yet highly experienced Goblin coach known for his bloodthirsty tactics has a career average of starting a new team every 3 days. This off course is in a large part due to the fact that an average team led by the Mad Gobber has a 1-month, 5-match lifespan.
***Did you know...
that the Wood Elves of Inner Ear Insurrection bought a dead player to play against their High Elf opponents Physicists. When they fielded him at the start of the game, Dahlen, a courageous Phoenix Warrior thought something reeked of foul play... and decided to blitz the scary catcher covering the left flank. Sergeant Urpy (the alledged name of the dead player) toppled over without any form of resistance. He was declared dead and ejected from the game. After a short but hefty debate between the officials they decided to credit Dahlen with the kill...
The Field Marshall of the Inner Ear Insurrection claims they had been duped by a necromantic player agent into buying this experiment-gone-wrong for a hefty price, though Physicist fans claim that they fielded the stench-laden player to cover their left flank by his foul smell alone...
***Did you know...
that Confusion on a Stick set the record for losing most players in a debut match. Three line-elves, a thrower and a wardancer died on the field during the second half of that very bloody match against Dark Secrets, a veteran Necromantic team.
***Did you know...
BLOODKILLERMACHO'S BLooDKILLER is the team with the most consecutive losses. The main reason behind their horrific Match record was their main sponsor, a notorious Slanesh Cultist, that told the team he would stop his exuberant funding if they ever scored a touchdown as long as there was still fresh meat on the pitch. Because of this they have the peculiar record of 282 casualties in 32 games, scoring only 2 TD and losing all their games !.
***Did you know...
even though Confusion on a Stick lost 5 players in their first game, they still managed a 2-1 win over a far more experienced Necromantic team. The unexpected win raised many an eyebrow, especially since a certain goblin by the name of Mezir ( Help Us) had bet his entire fortune on a 2-1 victory with 5 wood elf deaths....
...after the game, Jahira, the owner of the club decided to sell her team to a rich minotaurman/cattleman and take up something less stressful... so she became a test jumper for a parachute company. The last time she was seen, she had just leapt off a cliff trying out a new parachute made from treeman-leaves. Since the design seemed a bit too aerodynamic (dried leaves not sticking together properly), no one really saw where she fell, and no one has seen her since..
***Did you know...
the hardest hitting stunty in Ranked is in fact a halfling that is so weak that he can hardly carry his own daily rations. Charlie Maine of Cookie Crumblers Return has managed to cause 28 casualities in his numerous games. Some claim that he has was raised by the mountain monks of Cathay, who trained them in the ways of the chef's assistant, teaching him the art of pressure points in his spare time. Though Charlie Maine refuses to comment on his mysterious childhood, no one can deny his uncanny, sniper-like ability to pinpoint "where that little finger will hurt most"...
From the Who's Who in Bloodbowl (edition 2505)
Charlie Maine wasn't the Only one learning the ways of the chef in far Cathay from the monks. Johnny Turmac, a teammate from The Cookie Crumblers Return also studied the ancient arts of Survival. He has so far managed to play a staggering 112 games, Making him the oldest halfling to ever walk the FUMBBL fields. Though Johnny Rarely comments on his longevity, he did make a statement once, claiming:" A jelly Roll and a foul a day, keeps the apothecary away"
***Did you know...
Big Mother (Tremble before me) once killed 2 gutter runners in a single block. After a gutter runner had scored a touchdown to help the skavens to a 0-1 lead, she lost her temper and screamed : "I'm gonna kill 'dem guttars !!!" Tremble before me won the match 2-1...
***Did you know...
the only player ever to achieve a Larson and get killed the next game was Speeder, a gutter runner for the Landsharks. He achieved his Larson in the team's debut against Sting Like A Butterfly, and was killed against Jorcs in his very next game.
***Did you know...
The professional rivalry between Mithril Dragons linemen, Rolerbonn Staffcarver and Dahaniad Blackarcher was so strong, that neither would let the other outperform him in their debut match. This lead to both players pulling off a "Larson" in an attempt to gain the most acclaim. Unfortunately, the pair of them were so unprepared to share the MVP award, the officials decided to award it to their third choice, key defensive lineman Silolirs Firelock, denying both of them the opportunity to claim a "perfect larson"
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