Karnov
Joined: Jul 14, 2012
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 Posted:
Dec 24, 2016 - 02:12 |
 
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STALKER OF THE SEASON - LXVI
Cabalvision, producers of the #1 smash hit reality show "The Running Fling", would like to congratulate:
John from Comfortably Average
for winning the first ever "Stalker of the Season" award!
John killed Weiss during the Bakersfield Butchers penultimate game of SWL Season LXVI.
This lone kill was the only death the Butchers suffered for season LXVI.
As a reward for being the inaugural Stalker of the Season Cabalvision, in conjunction with the SWL, gifted John an +AG boost and Weiss' head to do with as he pleases.
Tune in for (hopefully) a lot more death in season #2 of "The Running Fling". |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SW League Week, Christmas Edition, Issue 661, 22nd December 2516
Ask Bazza
15/12/2516
Dear Bazza,
How about those dirty DIBBLers? Claiming that Karlis Skrastins won a Prem Ring. Don't they know that the dead are ineligble?
Mate
Look Mate,
I was playing at the same time as Karlis, and his death was huge. Although he died weeks before the Avalanche took the title, the Wood Elves held off the funeral until the end of the season. Elves decay slower than most, but boy was he ripe by the time they stuck him on the pyre. And on his hand there was clearly for all to see a Premiership Ring. The rules were different back then.
Bazza
17/12/16
Hey Bazza,
Nice work predicting that the pointy ears would break their drought this year. Any tips for 2517?
GBH
GBH,
The year hasn't started yet. Who knows what teams will come and go in SWL. We may see a surprise decimation and retirement of a top team in Urn before the year is out so I'll stop short of getting too specific. Here are my picks:
Those Blitz girls sure tore up the Reggies last season. Conf is a different kettle of fish. Second place in Conf at best for Zons this year. Unlikely to be promoted.
It's been years since Chaos won a Prem title. There will be Chaos in Prem next year but none will take the title.
Chorfs are one of the most successful races in SWL. 2517 will not be their year. Top 3 in Prem at best.
A well coached Pact team could make Prem one day. That day will not come in 2517. Best finish 4th in Conf.
Dark Elves will do well this year. A strong contender for a Premiership title. Either a dark elf or a pro elf team will be champion.
Dwarf will make regular appearances in Prem. May even make Top 3. Won't do better.
If it's not time for the Dark Elf then Elves will get it. Viola is overdue for some glory, but if she can't do it there is a strong contender in the Daemons too.
Goblins will yoyo between Conf and Reggies. Best place will be 6th in Conf, for the Colour not Corruption.
Halfings will experience a single season in Conf and it will hurt.
It will not be a good year for High Elves. Iolas will leave SWL through death or retirement. Only one high elf team will play in Prem in 2517, and only for one season.
Humans will struggle. Best finish 5th in Conf.
Will we see Khemri in SWL? Yes!
The question is not will the Skink get a title, but how many? One.
Necro will spend time in Prem. If it's Huge Axeman and co, they will take a title.
No Norse in Prem in 2517. Best placing 2nd in Conf.
They will come close, oh so very close. Maybe even beaten by tiebreaker. But Nurgle will not take a Premiership
Everyone loves Ogres. Sadly not enough to bring a team of them to SWL.
Orcs have a good chance of taking another title. It would be near the end of the year though, and it's possible that their coach will lose patience with the team and abandon them before they get their chance.
Many will tip Skaven to take a Prem title this year. However, no rats will even make it to the top table. Expect coach Tomay to lead a team beyond 50 games for the first time in his career - close enough to success for him to stick with them, but will be a frustrating year.
How long has it been since a Slann team was in Prem? A long long time. If Dr Poods brings his Henchmen they will get close. Best finish 3rd in Conf.
Undead will make it to the top table. Will not last more than a season in Prem
Underwolrd will perform better than goblins. That's not saying much.
When Vampires fire they can do extraordinary things. They'll fire once this season and make it to Prem.
Well done Woodies for the Prem title. Wood Elves will be in Prem for 3 of the 4 seasons. But no title.
TLDR?: Lizardman, Necromantic, Dark (or Pro) Elf, Orc
Bazza
18/12/16
Baz,
What are your thoughts on Luke Skywalker? Cock?
Lorax
Lorax,
Yep
Bazza
Bazza is a former Catcher for the Bogan Yobs, his opinions do not necessarily reflect those of SW League Week |
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Keothi
Joined: Jul 08, 2013
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Jan 01, 2017 - 10:17 |
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Luke Skywalker still laughing, put down the predictions and commentary from Bazza. He was still enjoying the off-season and refining some of the Unicorn's game tactics. The URN games had proven diverting to watch on replay, but he felt strangely dissatisfied. There was a disturbance in the Force and he wasn't sure if it boded opportunity or something darker.... |
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Redgum
Joined: May 19, 2009
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Jan 08, 2017 - 12:42 |
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Welcome to the SWL All Star presentation evening for Season 66.
It’s our pleasure to announce this season's SWL 'All-Stars' Team, and representative squads for each level of competition within the SWL.
All SWL players are eligible for consideration in this team, from the Regionals up to the Premier League.
It gives us great pleasure to announce those honoured for their efforts and performances during SWL LXVI:
Shntsyeooa (C) Skink, Slumbering Skink
Gillian Starshine Wardancer, Autumn’s Leaves
Ubirr III Blitzer, Wäŋa Warriors
Dan “Asereje†Rollins Chaos Warrior, Blackwater Glee Club
Gangrenous Gabriel Pestigor, SWL Fun Police
Mr Foulscumm Pestigor, Madness Mountain Misery
Flesh Pestigor, Eau de Toilet
Simon V Thower, Psych Lab
Tunnel I Chaos Warrior, Urban Nightmare
Robert Vileorc Zombie, Macabre Morticians
Esme Effektiv Blitzer, Domestic Blitz
Shntsyeooa achieves his fourth consecutive selection to the All Star team, and his second consecutive season honoured as Captain of this illustrious group. Little remains to be said of the diminutive star, other than to remark upon his astounding longevity. This is often a brutal game and there are no shortage of coaches ready to attest after last season to the fragility of even the games most decorated and celebrated stars. For none of those lost was this more true than it is for the little skink we honour tonight, and yet despite it all, despite the fractured skull, and despite his stuntiness, despite the metaphorical target on his head and the literal black pearl bounty… Shntsyeooa continues to dodge, weave and sprint past his opponents, scoring again and again. He again scored 8TDs, and was again the brightest individual star playing in the Premier division.
The LXVI Premier division was the elfiest seen for some time, with all four varieties of elf represented. Even so, few expected the wood elfs to take the title. One of the crucial components in Dlock’s successful season was his star wardancer, Gillian Starshine. All wardancers are amazing players, but Starshine is remarkable even among her peers. She is predominantly a ball-player, using her speed and agility to ensure that she’s a constant scoring threat, but she is as ferocious as she is talented, and her frenzied attacks have surprised many an opponent. She scored 6 TDs in Season LXVI, to bring her career total to an impressive 26 from only 37 games. This is her first selection to the All Stars.
Ubir III returns to the All Star team this season, after having previously been a representative at Conference and Premier levels under our old selection system. LXVI was a return to peak form for the experienced orc, with 134 rushing yards and 7TDs, but he added a layer of experience to his already powerful running game, showing that he’s a smart player who knows when (and how) to use a nice quick pass to open up his opponent’s defence. In his 56 game career he has accumulated over 1,000 rushing yards and 46 TDs, and like Shntsyeooa, his talent has been rewarded with a black pearl bounty. Tonight, we welcome him back into the All Stars.
SWL Legend, Dan “Asereje†Rollins, makes tonight’s All Star lineup. Early in his career he was perhaps known as much for his scoring ability as for his hitting, but as his body has been reshaped by the dark forces of chaos, to which he owes his allegiance and worship, Asereje has found his niche. Even more effective on a blow-by-blow basis than Gabriel, he has 74 CAS from only 56 games and achieved 17 this season, including a personal best this season with 4 CAS in a game against the Hostile Kiddies, and he returned to the scorer’s sheet for the first time in many seasons with a TD vs the Head-on Colliders. While he hasn’t always been rewarded for his efforts, we’re pleased tonight to name him a worthy Captain of the Conference Rep side, and a worthy member of the LXVI All Stars.
Gangrenous Gabriel is another much-decorated pro making a timely return to the honours list, and the first of three Pestigor All-Stars to be recognised tonight. At 76 games he’s also Legend of the SWL. He may not be as fast now as he once was, but his ability to hurt his opponents has only grown more brutal and effective with the seasons he has under his belt. With 11 CAS for the season, including 3 in each of the games against Autumn’s Leaves, Daemon Ex Tasserae, and the Wäŋa Warriors, he was the deadliest force in the Premier division this season. With 73 CAS inflicted from his 76 game career, this nasty ball of muscles, horns, claws and bestial savagery is well-deserving of All Star status.
The second Pestigor in tonight’s team is Mr Foulscumm, and quite a different sort of Pestigor he is. Agile, sure of hand, and capable of sparkling footwork (hoof-work?) which allows him to dodge opponents or side-step potential blocker. He ran for over 200 yards in season LXVI Conferences, and scored 8 TDs. He was clearly man-of-the-match (at least, it was clear to everyone except those who awarded Z’odra the match MVP award) against the Wonga Whalekillers, finishing with 3 completions and 2 TDs in the 2-1 win. Despite LXVI being an underwhelming year for his team, none could fault Foulscumm’s commitment and effort, nor could any doubt his place here tonight among the All Stars.
And in Flesh, the All Stars welcome a third Pestigor to the season’s team. Once again, he’s developed into quite a different player, despite the commonality of race. For Flesh, this game is all about speed. He’s remarkably quick, able to keep pace with much weaker or lighter-armoured opponents, and able to streak away from would-be defenders. His allegiance to chaos and love for warpstone have seen changes in his physique simce his rookie days, most notably in the extra pair of arms which have grown from his shoulders, and with which he is able to perform pick-ups and catches impossible for a dual-armed player. With this combination of ball-handling and speed he scored 8TDs in Conferences and earnt tonight’s recognition as an All Star.
It was a tough season as well for Psych Lab, but their shining light was their veteran thrower, Simon V. With 70 passing yards for the season, this rat was clearly the SWL’s most prolific passer. He provides stable leadership from the backfield: sure-handed and accurate, with rattish speed and a strong enough arm to accumulate a solid ball-progression and easy scores when one of his many receiving options manage to get open. He’s mastered the short-passing game since he joined the team way back in Season LIX, and has become a natural leader too, often helping the younger rats around him avoid the mistakes and pitfalls which can derail a team’s momentum. He also showed this season that he’s capable of delivering casualties, an unexpected but welcome aspect of his game to develop. With over 400 passing yards already in his career, he’s surely eyeing off the title of SWL’s greatest ever skaven thrower.
Tunnel I is our second Chaos Warrior in tonight’s team, and while he is earlier in his career than the comparatively venerable Asereje, he’s certainly making his mark. He inflicted 10 CAS, including 3 each against the Office Rats and Steaked. His tackling ability always helps him bringing down even the dodgiest of opponents, and once he has them down he’s more than willing to go to ground with them to continue his attack. His claws make a mockery of most armour, and his mighty blows can cause lasting damage or death. He’s averaging more than a CAS a game, with 43 CAS from his 42 game career, and is definitely one the All Star selection committee will continue watching in seasons to come.
The amazing posthumous career of the undead Robert Vileorc continues with another selection to the All Star team. He’s come a long way since his original career among the living, as a journeyman elf called upon to make up the numbers for the Griffon Gate Sentinels. Really, nothing in life became him like the leaving of it, as his post-death career greatly overshadows anything he managed when he had a heartbeat and the capacity for independent thought. Last season he became an All Star on the back of 30 fouls. This season he committed 41. His career total is 73 fouls from only 20 games, and he’s managed them all without having to resort to sneaky tactics. Because a zombie with a one-track mind has to have standards: keep playing dirty, but don’t get sneaky. His is a fascinating career, perhaps unique in SWL history, and we’re excited by what this corpse has in store for the future.
Esme Effektiv is the youngest member of this season’s All Star team, and one of the youngest players ever named an All Star, and she achieved this honour playing in the Regionals. There was some debate over her inclusion, but ultimately, the power of her performances could not be denied. In their first SWL season, the Domestic Blitz swept all before them. (*audible groans from the crowd*). The fans have flocked to the new team, and have been impressed with what coach Luohghcra has been cooking up. (*louder groans*). In an undefeated season, Esme delivered 10 CAS, absolutely cleaning up (*loud boos*) her opponents and wiping out unwanted mess. Her no-nonsense attitude delivered 3 CAS against Styx and Warpstones, and against the Bakersfield Butchers, but her most impressive performance might have been against the 1001 Wights. In a tight last game of the season with the team’s undefeated record and title shot on the line she put 2 of her opponents on their backside. They woke up in hospital after the game while Esme and her team-mates celebrated their Regional title. She stands tonight in elite company, among the LXVI All Stars.
Congratulations go to all those named in the All-Stars Team. There were a lot of very impressive All-Star debutantes this season, and again the quality of young players proving themselves in Regionals and Conferences bodes well for the future of SWL. Still, some of those who are returning are ready to stake their claim among the all-time greats of the league, and for several the opportunity remains to write their name into the history books… provided the opposing coaches and pearl-hunters don’t stop them dead in their tracks. One thing remains certain: only 11 spots are available among the All-Stars, and for those recognised it is an honour which will remain theirs forever.
A hearty congratulations also to the players selected in their divisional Representative teams (with special recognition to Richards, the first Halfling ever selected to a Representative squad):
LXVI Prem-Stars
Shntsyeooa (c) Skink Slumbering Skink
Gillian Starshine War Dancer Autumn's Leaves
Aymar Catcher Daemon Ex Tesserae
Ubirr III Blitzer Wanja Warriors
Ailmon Thrower Griffin Gate Sentinels
Gangrenous Gabriel Pesti SWL Fun Police
Rancid RedMaul CW SWL Fun Police
Strdthm Saurus Slumbering Skink
Stats before Skill Hobbo SWL Fun Police
Ildan Lineman Autumn's Leaves
Crazy Cephalexin Blitzer Altered Perception
LXVI Conference Rep team
Dan "Asereje" Rollins (c) CW Blackwater Glee Club
Flesh Pesti Eau de Toilet
Coddled Blitzer Steaked
Mr_Foulscumm Pesti MMM
Simon V Thrower Psych Lab
Andrew "Starships" Cornell CW Blackwater Glee Club
Tunnel I CW Urban Nightmare
Wrathnomenias Wight Macabre Morticians
Robert Vileorc Zombie Macabre Morticians
Malil Kack II Lineman Hostile Kiddies IV
Salmonix Ghoul Macabre Morticians
LXVI Rising-Stars
Johan Grimmersen (c) Ulf Norlanders XI
Rock-Biter Ghoul Sinnedbad's
Vera Vildbar Blitzer Domestic Blitz
Aeldred Catcher Comfortably Average
Charon Thrower Styx and Warpstones
Harold II Thrower Comfortably Average
Esme Effektiv Blitzer Domestic Blitz
Luke III Blitzer Comfortably Average
Ragnar Danielsson Lineman Norlanders XI
The Lumber Bard Tree Bakersfield Butchers
Richards Halfling Bakersfield Butchers
So that ends another awards post-season. A special thanks as well to coaches Keothi and Tussock for their contributions to this evening’s awards.
That's all from us for now so we hope you enjoyed the teams as they were announced, we look forward to seeing you all again at end of season and until then... may the riots be many, may your rocks fly true, and may many a star be surfed into the crowd! |
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| Tomay wrote: | | Thanks Redgum, you are a legend... |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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Jan 11, 2017 - 11:51 |
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As the year draws to a close and the SWL HEROES teams go on holiday, fans imaginations have to make do in the absence of their weekly SWL fix.
"Mexican Standoff are the best HEROES team, just look at the depth and experience in that squad"
"Bah! Look at the ex-players list for High Elvis, they would surely be the best if not for all those injuries."
"If only there was a way to compare. Taking the best players for the year from each of the teams!"
And thus, with the help of the latest technology in modern apothocarying, dead and injured players have been revived and will join the best of the current rosters, to play in the first SWL HEROES Championship!
2516 SWL HEROES Championship
Star-studded rosters have been put together to represent the best-performing players of 2516 for each of the HEROES teams.
Shiny new uniforms have been produced, and the HEROES Hall-of-Fame inductees have even put their names forward to be hired (if the teams can afford their wages).
Check out the teams on the Tournament page, and keep tuned to Channel BB for match announcements and results!
Note: Karnov will be filling in as coach of the Jeagers whilst coach Ab5 is moonlighting as a valet. |
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES
Bio template here. |
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Karnov
Joined: Jul 14, 2012
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Jan 11, 2017 - 23:29 |
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SONS OF FUN HIRE GM
The new SWL Nurgle team, Sons of Fun, would like to announce that DrPoods (aka Slannistry; aka Lord of the 1's) has been hired in the role of General Manager. DrPoods will be overseeing player development and general team management. Coach Karnov will be the gameday coach, responsible for playcalling, player motivation & performance.
Congratulations DrPoods! |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Jan 16, 2017 - 10:36 |
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 An SWL season 67 Premier preview, bought to you by our sponsors, the Oxytoxin home for retired Lizards, who are expecting a rush of new occupants this season. Terence, let's get right down to the previews.
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Pillip, this premier is the heaviest the SWL has seen in a very long time, season 55 won by the Wonga Wonga Whalekillers with just a 3/2/2 record (last place had a 2/2/3 record!) beats it by a hair for the sheer volume of gold being thrown around keep these monster teams together. We may see similar things here, if the teams can stand up to the sheer killing power on display.
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Those were the days, Terence, and they still are for some of the teams, surely, we've a good few squads left around and winning from 12 seasons back.
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That we have, Phillip, though the Whalekillers await another season or two rebuilding a full team in the Conferences.
Prancing Unicorns were perennial Regional dwellers not so long ago, now they made the best of their 2nd Conference run to take a place with the stars of the SWL for their 8th season. Lead by C3PO and the bounty-carrying Luke Skywalker, this team will now be facing it's greatest challenge by far, but with the skills they bring it's not at all beyond them.
Rating: 243, 500k banked, solid Orcs these, if they can weather the onslaught at the start of this season there might be some easier games toward the end, if they can win a couple early they'll be well in the running for the title.
Blackwater Glee Club bring their special medicine to the premier, and everyone who's not in premier is perfectly happy about that. Legends Damien Halford and Dan Rollins lead the destruction along with Andrew Cornell and the bounty-carrying Drew De Le Rocha in this, their 7th season, and first trip to Premier.
Rating: 240, nearly broke, they face last season's premier trio as their final three games. The fresh teams up all have to face them earlier, and the results of each game will be telling for their efforts to win this thing. The Glee Club have the talent and power to take this, but then so does everyone else with a bit of luck.
Wäŋa Warriors saw the 66 title leap past their firm host of expert tacklers, and they'll be hoping not to see that happen again in round 3. Bounty-carrying Ubirr leads the team with fellow blitzer Gunlom, beside ancient Blockers Burrunggui and Mamukala, into their 14th season.
Rating: 210, 500k banked, a season where a few more wins than losses might just be enough, if they can beat down the Skink, they may hold an unassailable lead before the later meat-grinder stages. But maybe they fancy a showdown with their bigger cousins the Unicorns for the title in round 8? They'll be looking to go clean again and again.
Slumbering Skink missed their fourth straight title running with a last second dropped catch. Legend, bounty-carrier, tireless worker, Shntsyeooa is still the key to easy victories for them and they struggle a bit when he leaves the pitch. Legends Strdthm and Llstrr continue to more than ably protect him, in this, the team's 28th season since the great war.
Rating: 206, a million banked, they'll also be looking to build a big lead before they get into the meat-grinders through to the end of their season, so they can maybe afford to back off on defence a bit. The teams they face early will know there's to be no playing for the tie from our premier regulars, they must win.
Large Head-On Colliders return to premier for yet another shot at the title they once claimed as often as the skinks now do. Legend François Englert carries a bounty, fello founding legend sneutrino does not. Along with Totem they lead their 26th season in a continuing effort to gather a sufficiently skilled squad together to reclaim former glories. This may not be a good season for that.
Rating: 203, near a million banked, can they handle the hitting and marking power of the teams arrayed against them? It wouldn't be the first time they have, but perhaps not quite so many one after the other. It could be a long season, but they'll enjoy killing a few skinks at the end of it.
Autumn's Leaves are our Season 66 Premiers! Some classic magic from the woodies saw them dance around last season's elf-laden premiership like they owned the place. Gillian Starshine and Tinuviel repeatedly surprising teams for turnovers, they barely ran enough of them in to take the title. The team's 13th season is rather more laden with things that make lightly-covered elves hit the bench early, if not permanently.
Rating: 202, 200k in the bank, they'll have to be very wise with their efforts to steal the ball this season, if there's to be anything left of them for the later games. The Skink are first, if they can win that match-up they're surely in prime position to go back-to-back.
Public Service Announcement The Violent Tango, Kai the Kobra, Masochist, and The Sound of Silence; they're the core of this 16th season chaos squad. The PSA here make their third trip up to Premier and look to win their 3rd title with it. With Night Patrol now enjoying his retirement, is this team good enough without him?
Rating: 201, a million banked, good enough to make prem, they have the tools, they have the players, there'll be no Wizards against them and a good few for. It's not the powerhouse of the Glee Club, they may struggle to maintain any advantage over the big Orcs, and there's players here can catch and take down Kai the Kobra, but they're a fair chance.
Striking Thunder Beards In just their 5th season, these young dorfs make their second appearance in the premier division. Their first trip was a near shut-out, they return in bigger and better form, but it's not the elf premier they might have enjoyed and I'm not sure they have the guards for this. Forrest Gump will lead his best as always, all the luck to him.
Rating: 196, 200k banked. They'll need that cash to replace the casual mess some of these teams will make of the tin cans they wear. If they can get at any of the softer players, they're capable of making a bit of a mess themselves. I'm not sure what they'll do against the big Orcs, other than hope for a great Wizard.
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I thought last season was big, Terence. Those dwarfs aren't small, but having two true giants in the Prancing Unicorns and the Blackwater Glee Club up at once gives one another perspective on what real size means.
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There's Goblins in SWL are bigger than the other six teams in this premier, Phillip, I'm not impressed at all. It's bigger than most in the past, but really, if your team costs less to keep together than the Goblins down in reggies, well I ask you, really. But even given that, this is the biggest and bashiest of SWL premierships for a very long time, how many of these teams survive it in any decent form may be the telling of who can win it.
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That regionals squad is a matter for the administrators, Terence, and word is monstrosities like that, or possibly some of these ones in the premier, may not be long for the world of SWL, or any other league. Bribery and Corruption is out of control and something really must be done about it.
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Season 67 and 68 are to come yet, and the 2nd Bob Borc Cup. Bribery and Corruption will remain at the heart of the SWL for a while yet.
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More's the pitty, they don't even win any games, Terence. Don't forget the #swl mind-meld for gossip, fans, the tournament listings for matches due and replays to peruse, even studies of the skill of team through the game. 6 Rock, 1 Scissors, 1 Paper, so if paper really does beat rock, and finds a way to survive doing so .... |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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| Posted:
Jan 17, 2017 - 07:57 |
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Terence, everything's up already, so many powerhouse teams on display in the conferences, all pushing for a shot at the big Season 68 premier.
 An SWL season 67 conferences preview bought to you by sweet dreams of ages past and the pleasantness of a fading memory, beer.
So what have you got for us?
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I've got the lot, Phillip. 24 teams primed for the big time.
German Vermin conference, named for a team that made the premier repeatedly, and then spent a while rebuilding with limited player numbers, reflects this conference ever so well, under massive power and incredible skills all striving for a good enough record to make the jump. This one is the rebuild.
Asha'maniac Rating 232, 400k banked. 13th season now and the maniacs missed out on a premier spot on head-to-head after losing to the Unicorns, they'll be keen to make amends and go through to face the best.
SWL Fun Police Rating 232, 200k banked. 12th season, monsters, just barely slipped from the elfiest premier in a long time. They'll want to tear up the big dorfs first round to take the early lead. Beware, for here there be Gangrenous Gabriel.
Dallas Drowboys Rating 218, nothing banked. 5th season, they dodged this premier by just a little after the Beards beat them, if they can find a way past the maniacs here it's a fantastic looking squad and could easily promote.
Psych Lab Rating 216, treasury never. 28th season rats with a bench, and that's not bad. They've the knack of surviving in the SWL conferences, and they'll need it in this one, a couple of Wizards may even attend their needs.
Hostile Kiddies IV Rating 178, 100k banked. HK4 mourn the loss of the great Weggie Rhite, but aim to bring even more hostility in his wake. The Mighty Zug may offer some time in his place this season.
Daemon Ex Tesserae Rating 175, 250k banked. Their 6th season finds them demoted from Premier for a 2nd time. Normally you'd expect quality like this to be straight back up, but they can't all go up out of this pool.
Wonga Wonga Whalekillers Rating 161, broke as. These 26th season and four-time premier winners were thinned a bit in their encounter with the Morticians, might just be another season or three of rebuilding ahead, starting with a bench when they can afford it.
High Elvis Rating 153, 300k in the bank. Just six permanent players for their 7th season, this team may see some significant recruitment along the way, after they clear the giants mid-season. Inducements will be interesting.
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That is some quality teams and coaches, Terence. Premier regulars, former champions down on their luck, there'll be no shortage of close games, even the littlest Elves carry some magnificent players.
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Four obvious premier contenders Phillip, and enough in the rest to grab some upsets on inducements alone, it could be anyone's.
Southside Stone Smashers conference is awash with former premiers itself, along with teams rightfully hopeful of beating them to the next one given the smaller size of the teams. The real monsters aren't here though, this is the one with all sorts.
Chaos All Sorts Rating 226, 100k banked. My how they've grown for their 9th season. This is what a Pact of Chaos should be, bigger than the biggest Goblins. When did Vampires join the pact though? That could turn a few draws into wins.
Madness Mountain Misery Rating 206, 600k banked. Dodgiest nurgs in the business, these 8th season boys have earned a trip to premier before but never made it. 68 could easily be the one they do, it's not exactly a tackle-fest in here.
Freezy Trees Rating 198, 400k banked. The Trees stood tall in premier 66, a mid-table finish in a tough crowd. Compared to that, this should be fairly easy, though the bench has little real experience it is extensive and happy to lay the boot in.
Port Macquarie Snowleopards Rating 189, 400k banked. In their 10th season the familiar legends of old are gone, but a good few stars stand to make their own mark on the SWL. Can the win of the Autumn's Leaves inspire greater heights?
Steaked Rating 185, 100k banked. The rebuild was slow and is ongoing for these 11th season Bob Borc Cup holders. Can they put a great team together to support the head chef on another Cup run after season 68? You wouldn't bet against it!
Office Rats Rating 177, 300k banked. Stuggling for wins in the conferences, in their 6th season the Rats are looking much better placed to start improving their record while keeping the company documents in order.
Domestic Blitz! Rating 176, 300k banked. Tremendous growth for their 2nd season, just what they'll need to keep up if they intend to go up again for the 68 premier like a few ladies teams before them. This is a fair conference for them to try just that.
Griffon Gate Sentinels Rating 170, 100k banked. This 15th season team have rebuilt from harsh premier trips before, and now get to do so all over again. Iolas taking a break from the first game after the Freezy Trees left a mark on his skull. Rematch should be interesting.
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Three and a half former premier squads, Terence, with the usual one in bad shape. That's another tough conference for the younger hopefuls to push through, not to mention those giants in the Pact.
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It's anyone's to take, Phillip, all of these teams can score and turn the ball over with the slightest of gaps, or often no gap at all.
Woodies Double Conference is named for a wood elf squad that made prem three times and won it twice, but couldn't manage the back-to-back. This lot don't have anything to do with that, it's just the dead one.
Mexican Standoff Rating 207, 100k banked. 19 seasons for elves is several generations on the bloodbowl pitch, but with four trips to premier behind the team most of these have been there and done that. Can the new blood be carried up once more? There's some great stars here to make that happen.
â„︎â†â…White Fluffy Stuffâ…â†â„︎ Rating 206, 400k in treasury. Notable for the elves in their team, and I'm not talking about Marinaded, they'll need an improved record here in their 5th season to make the next premier. Can the agile dead do it?
Compare the Meerkat Rating 205, 250k banked. In just their 3rd season now, it was almost straight to premier. Hard to bet against an improved squad going one step better for season 68, though no Rat Ogre up in the big boys may hurt them.
Urban Nightmare Rating 197, 800k banked. 6th season, the team's theme stays strong, focused on being able to turn over the ball in the tight, their own ball security usually doing the job too for a solid record. Not to mention the bash.
New World Winers and Diners Rating 196, 600k banked. 6th season they remain in the conferences after spoiling their record a bit with a few on-pitch feasts. Are the injuries on the team just too much weight to carry?
Altered Perception Rating 196, 200k banked. Premier made a bit of a mess of them, including the demon in the dice they faced. But there's quality left, teams like these are quicker to rebuild than most, and their record remains outstanding.
Banner of the Black Stag Rating 195, 200k banked. Grumnir a little the worse for wear after an encounter with a certain goblin team, it's a great squad with him in his 12th season that all but made prem, just missing head-to-head against the big Orcs after a very close game. One to watch for premier.
Macarbre Morticians Rating 178, 800k banked. In their 4th season the infamous dead are down to just four affirmed dirty players, that needs fixed for a start. The team, record setters, in a less conventional way, one to watch for the sheer joy of it.
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Three former premiers and two more all but made it last time. What a tight competition, how can anyone pick winners in the SWL with conferences like these, Terence?
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We don't pick winners, Phillip, we leave that to others, this is just a preview of who's appearing and what they're up against. That's it for us, just three conferences once more, and a couple of stacked regional divisions to be announced with a host of new squads set to be welcomed to the SWL in familiar style. Good luck to the conference teams, there's rumours of rule changes couple make this one of the last really big premiers to make, and these teams possibly making the very last of an era before the Bob Borc Cup.
But who knows what the future holds, it's certainly out of our hands
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I don't know what any of that even means, Terence. Our conferences celebrate teams from the old days of SWL, just as some of these will one day be celebrated when these are the old days in turn. They're all working on creating a legend in the SWL, but they can't all do it at once. Look out for the usual pundits raising hackles in various circles, look out for the games, catch the replays, don't miss a moment of your favourite teams and their epic drag down and repeatedly kick in the head battles. |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Jan 18, 2017 - 08:37 |
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It's all happening Terence, the regional divisions, two of them, a mass of fresh teams and some classic oldies down to feed on them, and they're mad keen on playing with the first games already gone and done.
 An SWL season 67 regional preview bought to you the association for improving goblins by the continued application of T-POMB. Because the only good goblin, is ...
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Phillip, the only good goblins are right here in the SWL regionals! You know who I'm talking about.
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Yes, the Colour of Money, the ...
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Bribery and Corruption, Phillip, that's right, back at home in the regionals where they will dominate and destroy the teams around them like nothing seen since all those dwarf teams played them.
Steve Regional, named for Steve, of Steve of the Dead, who was not your average Steve, but rather a special Steve, in his own way. It's the home of the great ones, and also all the Dwarfs.
Bribery and Corruption Rating 215, treasury 100k. The greatest goblins ever, nothing more needs said, so many all-time records. 7th season, widely expected to dominate. Safe as houses.
Easy Mode Maniacs Rating 201, treasury 800k. 8th season for ... Terence, it seems there must be some sort of mistake, what exactly are these Chaos Dwarfs doing here, again?
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Haha, making sure those useless goblins of yours maintain their record for most casualties suffered per game for any team in SWL history!
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.... Well, uh, they may also do well.
More Than Ballgowns Rating 173, 400k banked. 4th season for the Amazons, back to the regions, they'll find most games easy going, if the princesses lack of armour doesn't see them find too much enduring trouble.
Styx and Warpstones Rating 149, 200k banked. 2nd season creepers looking to improve on a slow start, should give the runaround to these newer squads, and do have a little hitting power to compensate for all that armour on the other teams.
Sons of Fun Rating 130, new squad. These rotters are dressed to the nines, and looking to hit, hit, hit, and kick. Should do alright, in the long run at least.
Settra's Sons Rating 130, new squad. These skellies are dressed not bad and all, also looking to hit, hit, hit, and kick. Seems to be a theme there, big hitting teams.
Da Killer Kartel Rating 123, 100k banked. Word is these fillers were bought in explicitly to see to the Goblins first round. I don't imagine they've got the tackle for it, Phillip.
Hashut's Offering Rating 112, new squad. More dwarfs, though these little devils are perhaps a bit fresh. Still, more dwarfs, in the big goblin's region. Hmm.
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Terence, you know well teams are randomly assigned to their groups, and deliberately placed up or down purely based on past performances, unless there's some unfortunate expedience takes precedence. Now stop moaning about your stupid goblins and tell us about the good ones instead.
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Professionalism at all times, Phillip. And you're the stupid one.
Robert Brout Regional remembers Robert Brout, the legendary hitting bull through the premier-winning runs of the Large Head-On Colliders. Efforts to replace his great presence are ongoing, in that monster premier no less!
Horrors of Skye Rating 188, 500k banked. The horrors have given and taken innumerable beatings going into their 22nd season, they'll dish out a good few more here. I don't believe anyone remains of their heady days as premier contenders, but they may well be building up some new contenders here.
Colour of Money Rating 172, 400k banked. Also dragged back to the regions for their 7th season by unfavourable administration decisions after a fair season last time up in conference. Expect gloriously murderous wins if they can ever keep numbers on the pitch.
Redgum's Revolutionaries Rating 146, 400k banked. 4th season Pact have continued to rotate players at a fair clip, their core is still lacking some of the team's normal killing power to free space for the agile ones.
Pharee Markhet Rating 130, new squad. Seems they're here to liberate our best assets to the afterworld, while getting business done on the scoreboard too. Could be a shock to the system, but maybe it needs one.
Forest Magicians Rating 130, new squad. Now you have the ball, now you don't. That's the magic they'll be hoping to work for many seasons to come in the SWL, inspired no doubt by the win of the Autumn's Leaves.
Pink 'n Scabby Rating 130, new squad. Lizards won three of our last four premierships, but not every lizard team is so successful. These ones may be some time putting together the sort of squad that can test that.
Cult of Monroe Rating 128, new squad. Last season some new Amazons dominated the regions, these ones begin with a deeper bench and a few less dangerous playmakers, but they may well do the same.
NewHavenNightingales Rating 127, new squad. Early wins with bloodsuckers shows great promise for the future, but other bloodsuckers have shown promise in the SWL and never quite fulfilled it. Good luck to them.
Rigorus Mort Rating 122, 100k banked. The Brians are back with some new recruits for a 2nd season. Looking even worse off than their first, at least they're only facing a couple of monsters down from confs rather than nothing but.
High Tea Party Rating 121, new squad. A few rough injuries have slowed the early progress of these elfs, expect more rough injuries to keep them from easy domination for most of their career.
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That must be ... nine new squads, Terence, so forty returning and a some fillers dragged in from the fringes of the SWL where a mass of squads hover looking for an opportunity to just entertain the same crowds that flock to the regular seasons of the SWL proper. I hear there's a few on tour and kicking cows somewhere about now. I do hope that's a euphemism, or do I.
The games are off, little squads dealing out career-ending injuries to each other right off the first whistle. There'll be more of that throughout the season for teams at every level of competition, from the regions filled with fresh squads and recent failures looking to chew on them, to the conferences struggling to put together a timely premier run, to the premier itself where the best of us battle for the title. Season 67, don't miss it! |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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| Posted:
Jan 22, 2017 - 13:20 |
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2516 SWL HEROES Championship
The inaugural SWL HEROES Championship has drawn to a close, with the 2516 Griffon Gate Sentinels narrowly* claiming the Cup.
 
Final standings
Griffon Gate Sentinels - 27
High Elvis - 27
Mexican Standoff - 26
SWL Jeagers - 9
*w/d/l record was the tie-breaker
Check out the full standings and links to all the match replays at the Tournament page.
Thanks to all the coaches for making it a wonderful tournament & we look forward to seeing you all at the end of the year for the 2517 edition. |
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES
Bio template here. |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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Jan 22, 2017 - 14:24 |
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Welcome once again to the awarding of the medal for
The Hero of HEROES: SWL 66.
Our winner was the star of the show in SWL 66. Having an all around good season (scoring 4 touchdowns, 2 casualties and throwing 2 completions), he proved to be a very reliable player for his team, regularly receiving and retrieving the ball (not to mention staying alive during a rough season).
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Hero of HEROES award for Season 66, is:
Blue Suede Shoes
of High Elvis.
  *
The inaugural captain of High Elvis, Elvis Presley himself has joined us, and will perform a song to honour the Hero of HEROES for Season 66, Blue Suede Shoes.
Well, it's one for the Touch Downs
Two for the Throws
Three to get CAS
Now go, catch, go
But don't you
Step on my Blue Suede shoes
You can do anything
But stay off of my Blue Suede Shoes
He's my ball retriever
Ball Receiver
He never gets injured now I'm a believer
Do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh, honey
Lay off of my shoes
Don't you step on my Blue Suede Shoes
Well, you can do anything
But stay off of my Blue Suede Shoes
Head over to the HEROES page to see all the medalists, and updated Leaderboards. Blue Suede Shoes himself has risen to the top 5 in three separate categories.
*note, Blue Suede Shoes official uniform was still at the cleaners after his recent starring role in the SWL HEROES Championship, and is wearing a borrowed uniform instead. |
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES
Bio template here. |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Jan 26, 2017 - 06:34 |
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Domestic Blitz Season 67 Renovation Schedule
Round 1: C.A.S.
Lady Malm:
This hefty squad is carrying a number of pieces of a certain age. Unfortunately some are looking quite the worse for wear, and add absolutely nothing to the overall look of the team.
Renovation Goals:
Trim anything that looks a bit dinged up, give the whole lot a lick of paint.
This should see them looking much fresher for the rest of their season, and ensure they'll turn heads for the right reasons if they ever get let into the Prem Club
Round 2: Freezy Trees
Esme:
Oh. My. God. There are teams still getting around in loincloths? I mean, we aren't averse to a decent bit of skin, we are hot-blooded lasses after all, but I can't tell where the beard ends and the belly-button fluff begins.
...Oh, and there are some serious antiques in this mob. That Snow Troll is well past it's prime, and needs to go.
Renovation Goals:
Demolition for poor Clarky, I'm afraid. Very little else would help this team; a proper scrub wouldn't even make much of a difference...
Round 3: Steaked
Lady Malm:
I'm told this team are the BBC winners. I'm also assured by my more... vulgar teammates that this particular acronym has a rather unsavoury meaning. Regardless, this team has unsavoury writ large across it. I favour a whitewash - clean, fresh and without a hint of anything dark.
Renovation Goals:
There is a distinct theme involving spikes and blades here - time to soften those points... preferably with a large, blunt object.
Round 4: Griffon Gate Sentinels
Esme:
*Squee!* We get to play with Iolas! Oh-em-gee, he's gorgeous... Shame that the rest of the team is so...dowdy. Does anyone remember the Dandies? Now THERE was a team with style. Gods, the tights Lord Debenham used to wear, and those codpi....
Renovation Goals:
Too many ring-ins and players who like to get up close. Get rid of that chaff and it's a leaner, meaner team ready for the big time!
Round 5: Madness Mountain Misery
Lady Malm:
Ugh, must I? *sigh* Very well... Mr Foulscumm is the only redeeming feature in a team that is rotten to it's very foundations. From crumbling rotters to Warriors who don't know how to take a backwards step, it's a very grim situation indeed.
Renovation Goals:
Demolition for the entire team. Recommend installing Mr Foulscumm on a plinth as an example for how teams like this could be played...
Round 6: Snowleopards
Esme:
This lot look a little woody, but I'm told their bark is worse than their bite. Vera told me a joke involving treemen, but I think I'll leaf that one alone. Like any wood elf team though, the root of the problem is the Wardancers...
Renovation Goals:
The Wardancers are in dire need of pruning. Once that's done, we'll be able to get a better idea of how the rest of the team look - they could be a bunch of bare twigs, or a dense shrubbery. We'll adjust our plans accordingly.
Round 7: Office Rats
Lady Malm:
There's a lot of unnecessary chaff in this team. I know rats like their kith and kin close by, but honestly, quantity does not equal quality here. There are one or two gems that we could bring through to the the redesign, but really everything is expendable here.
Renovation Goals:
Can we do a clean slate here? I'd really like that... |
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D_Arquebus
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Feb 07, 2017 - 14:59 |
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Fast Eddy (Assistant Coach of the Chaos All Sorts): "Listen Coach you gotta stop shoutin...."
D_Arquebus: Whadda ya mean I gotta stop?!?!?! I'm the Coach!! Shoutin's my Cussed Prerogative... especially with a slap happy performance like that!"
Fast Eddy: "Listen Coach, the lads.... they were just startled to find elves that didn't fold in half as soon as they looked at them... and they stank of beer... we mostly handled them and did better in the shower then them stinky Nurgle types...."
D_Arquebus: "Yeah, but I never told em to just give the elves a sponge bath! We needed pitch control to win this thing! And what was that bloody elf doing not pushing that flippin thrower behind Muddle but just head-butting him down like that?"
Fast Eddy: "Kinda think that was his Kao[s]-tic nature coming out Coach... it's kinda there in the name..."
D_Arquebus: "-and then to fumble that gorgeous Long Bomb from Discord!....."
Fast Eddy: "Well that would be the 'Gibberin'... think his mind mighta wandered, so to speak, with the long flight time Coach..."
D_Arquebus:: "Well damn! Another Conference slipping away with girly elves beating everyone else, and us just being being beat down by them Wimmin! Fans don't know what to make of it, missing a blood bath one week then a slippery shower scene the next!...
...was a hell of a game though wasn't it?"
Fast Eddy: "One of the best Coach" *grin* |
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TT Bloodbowl in AUS (FB)
NZ BB Community on FB |
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Keothi
Joined: Jul 08, 2013
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Feb 17, 2017 - 02:24 |
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Coach Keothi held up his glass in toast to a somber Unicorns gathering
"To Ewok, may his short, furry body be enjoying Bloodweisers and Blood Bowl with Nuffle"
A somber silence, then Luke stood up, his eye patch giving him a roguish look...
Luke: "May the Force be with him" [looking around the room with his one eye, a hard glint showing] "And may the Force be with us for the rest of this Season."
Coach Keothi: I've sent R2D2 back to the repair shop to get his armour upgraded. But Obewan looks to have been very seriously injured, his bad ankle was again smashed and he will never run again... I'm not rushing to make any decisions, but his future on the team looks grim. Let's rest and recover and try to give the Glee Club enough competition that they feel like they've faced a real Premier team lads. That is all. |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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Cobber Ponzi, CEO of Wasteland Pachyderm Banking Coorporation was full of excitement. He'd been eagerly awaiting this moment for a couple of weeks now. Happy as a pig in shit you could say. For today he wouldn't have to shake hands with the dead or the evil, wouldn't experience the uncomfortably limp handshake of the elf. Tonight it was...
"Ladies!", he boomed, "For the first time in the eight seasons, HAND has taken the Wastepac Team Challenge Trophy crafted as it is from finest Plastiqueâ„¢. Not disrupted in the least by the late withdrawl of the Kiddies and Stag, the three Amazon teams did what no mere men have ever achieved. And to celebrate this great occasion, instead of calling upon a single representative to collect the cup, I'd like all 41 lovely ladies to please come forward".
Esme Effektiv, star of the team which single handedly defeated the VILLAINS in their match, lead the long line of Amazons. Cobber took her hand, and as he leaned forward for a congratulatory kiss, reached around with his left hand to grab a piece of that lovely round ar..
"oof-", Cobber doubled over and sank to the ground. Esme withdrew her knee, and raised the trophy victorius. The other Zons filed past the pathetic lump on the ground. Cobber received kicks, stomps, slaps, punches, spit, knees, scratches, gouges, elbows... but the sick bastard positively beamed for all the attention
HAND, Wastepac Team Challenge Champions LXVII
The rest of the evening proceeded without much fuss. Other prize winners took the odd pot shot at the MC, but he was too happy to care.
The SWL LXVII Team Achievements
Regional:
Turns (1179): Redgum's Revolutionaries
Completions (19): More Than Ballgowns
TDs (19): Forest Magicians
Cas (33): Easy Mode Maniacs
SPP (110): Redgum's Revolutionaries
Passing yards (73): Forest Magicians
Rushing yards (283): Forest Magicians
Blocks (362): Settra's Sons
Fouls (34): Bribery and Corruption
Blocks/Cas (8.5): Easy Mode Maniacs
Pass/Cp (5.62): Forest Magicians
Kills (6): Redgum's Revolutionaries
Conference:
Turns (1079): Freezy Trees
Completions (21): Griffon Gate Sentinels
TDs (15): Steaked and Port Macquarie Snowleopards
Cas (30): Macabre Morticians
SPP (83): Dallas Drowboys
Passing yards (88): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Rushing yards (269): Steaked
Blocks (398): Madness Mountain Misery
Fouls (62): Madness Mountain Misery
Blocks/Cas (9.59): Urban Nightmare
Pass/Cp (5.07): Mexican Standoff
Kills (5): Chaos All Sorts
Premier:
Turns (1054): Public Service Announcement
Completions (8): Blackwater Glee Club and Autumn's leaves
TDs (10): Blackwater Glee Club and Public Service Announcement
Cas (39): Blackwater Glee Club
SPP (110): Blackwater Glee Club
Passing yards (32): Autumn's leaves
Rushing yards (239): Blackwater Glee Club
Blocks (310): Public Service Announcement
Fouls (18): Blackwater Glee Club and Public Service Announcement
Blocks/Cas (6.33): Blackwater Glee Club
Pass/Cp (4.00): Autumn's leaves
Kills (5): Public Service Announcement
 The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
 Hungrnir (Wonga Wonga Whalekillers) 12 spp
 Corruption (Bribery and Corruption) 12 spp
The SWL Season LXVII Awards
  Tinkerbell (More Than Ballgowns) 8 TDs
  Caging Chris (Easy Mode Maniacs) 12 cas
 Chérie (Cult of Monroe) &  Biggnsaur (Pink 'n Scabby) 113 turns
 Tinkerbell (More Than Ballgowns) 162 rushing yards
  Teller (Forest Magicians) 40 pass yards
  Dirty Pool (Bribery and Corruption) 25 fouls
  Blotchnsaur (Pink 'n Scabby) 70 blocks
  Esmeralda (More Than Ballgowns) 11 cps
 Caging Chris (Easy Mode Maniacs) 3.67 block/cas
 Teller (Forest Magicians) & Penn Jillette (Forest Magicians) 5 pass/cp
 Tinkerbell (More Than Ballgowns) 28 SPP
  Cradle (Macabre Morticians) 7 TDs
  Tunnel I (Urban Nightmare) 17 cas
  Yatulkurh (Madness Mountain Misery) 112 turns
  Stanley (Office Rats) 151 rushing yards
  Alejandro Marquez (Mexican Standoff) 72 pass yards
  Robert Vileorc (Macabre Morticians) 33 fouls
  Wrathnomenias (Macabre Morticians) 70 blocks
  Ailmon (Griffon Gate Sentinels) 11 cps
  Hungrnir (Wonga Wonga Whalekillers) 3 block/cas
 Alejandro Marquez (Mexican Standoff) 10.29 pass/cp
 Tunnel I (Urban Nightmare) 34 SPP
The Disco Dan Ball
  Kai the Kobra (Public Service Announcement) 7 TDs
The Replacemnt Knuckles
 Andrew "Starships" Cornell (Blackwater Glee Club) 10 cas
The Touchstone Heart
 Gladiator (Public Service Announcement) 113 turns
The Xies-ler-aym Slipper
 Kai the Kobra (Public Service Announcement) 176 rushing yards
The Manfred von Richthofen Arrow
 Drew "Dr Jones" De La Rocha (Blackwater Glee Club) 25 pass yards
The John Stone Boot
 Stuart "Survivor" Dio (Blackwater Glee Club) 7 fouls
The Eth'el Shield
 Gladiator (Public Service Announcement) 52 blocks
The Emilio Luthien Boomerang
  Gillian Starshine (Autumn's leaves) 6 cps
The Geoffrey Grimwade Fist
 Andrew "Starships" Cornell (Blackwater Glee Club) 4 block/cas
The Duskwind Strongarm
 Drew "Dr Jones" De La Rocha (Blackwater Glee Club) 5 pass/cp
The Duke Snakefield Medallion
 Andrew "Starships" Cornell (Blackwater Glee Club) & Kai the Kobra (Public Service Announcement) 23 SPP |
Last edited by ramchop on May 26, 2017; edited 1 time in total |
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