wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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 Posted:
May 30, 2024 - 22:01 |
 
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 12
Y’all can thank charlie1331 for putting in the work this week of sacrificing his players, else we’d have gone on strike. Bring us the good stuff next week or else!
Dead of the Week
Cavanda Auden: Szeattle lineman; no skills
unfamiliar V: Vampa Bay thrall; no skills
Jame Gumb: Buffalo lineman; Defensive, Pro
Mack: Illadelph chosen blocker; Mighty Blow, Block, Claws, Tackle, Pro
Jesse Ventura [UmGO]: Illadelph beastman; +MA, Mighty Blow, Guard, Dodge, Block
Death of the Week: Illadelph leading by example! Unfortunately, that example appears to be “How to Die: Tips and Tricks for a Modern Approach”. By contributing the only players of note to perish, the Sunshine win by default. But which player of theirs gets the ultimate prize? Yes, Jesse Ventura does have +MA, but he also died with two perms (-PA and -AV) and didn’t even have Claws. Mack, on the other hand, was a homegrown hero: everything a chosen blocker aspires to. An Adonis built to run the classic Chaos gameplan: hit stuff until it stops moving, then hit it some more. For this reason we confer our highest honor on him: Mack is our Death of the Week!
(Bonus points for having 3 players permed this week in addition to the two deaths! DOTW is considering a new award for teams that take a special level of devastation, the Illadelph.)
Maimed of the Week
Dead Head: Baltimore lineman (-ST); no skills
Martin Cobbder: Trans Fat Crisco catcher (-AG); Sneaky Git, Dirty Player, Pro
John “Murder Rat” Cannon [AF]: Arizona chaos dwarf blocker (-AG); +ST, +ST, Mighty Blow, Guard
Jae'sun Piet'rs [POS]: Illadelph beastman (-AG); Block, Guard
Cam Jortson II: Jakesonville rat ogre (-AG); no skills
Khloe Olath: Trans Fat Crisco blitzer (-MA); no skills
Borris Handholf [NOVA]: Illadelph beastman (-MA); Block, Pro
Philly Sucks: New York linefrog (-AV); no skills
Edefuan Ulofoshio: Buffalo witch elf (-AV); no skills
Billy Grottywing: Illadelph beastman (-AV); no skills
Lindsey Vonn [OTT]: New York blitzer (-PA); Block, Guard, Side Step, Defensive
intimately familiar: Vampa Bay thrall (-PA); no skills
Johnson [MzSt]: Keen Play pestigor (-PA); +AG, Block, Sure Hands
Total NI this week: 14
Total MNG this week: 19
Total stat busts this week: 13
Total deaths this week: 5
Total SI/RIP: 51 |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Jun 01, 2024 - 13:20 |
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Welcome back to.. the Playoff Picture!
For our newer viewers, the NBFL is a very high TV league! with the highest teams close to 3000k TV, we've had games with over 1 million in inducements. The average team starts around 2500k tv, but by this point in the 14 game season, we're down to a mere 2100k tv.
This week we get started early because.. its week 14!!! Last week of the regular season! Teams are fighting for their playoff spot, their chance to ruin someone else's playoff spot, or just for survival!
NFC has 9 teams
West: Szeattle (W) - 71 - playoff spot week 12, division title week 13, bye week 14
South: New New Orleans (S) - 71 - playoff spot week 13, division title week 13
East: New York (E) - 68 - division title week 12, playoff spot week 12
North: Chic'A'Ghost (N) - 65 - playoff spot week 13, division title week 14
Keen Play (N) - 60 - playoff spot week 14
Vampa Bay (S) - 60
Los Angeles (W) - 57 (not yet played week 14)
Manglesota (N) - 55 (not yet played week 14)
Deadtlanta (S) - 50 (not yet played week 14)
Three major things still undecided in the NFC:
The bye!
If the Kroaks win (against the Bats), they get the bye. (They didn't.)
If they don't, and the Scimitars win (against the Redbulls), the Scimitars get the bye (they have tiebreaker over the Santas.) (They did)
Otherwise, the Santas have the bye.
The North!
If the Bats lose (against the Kroaks), and the Hackers win (against Sunshine), Keen Play will get the division title.
Otherwise, Chic'A'Ghost have the title (they have the tiebreaker over Manglesota.)
Chic'A'Ghost gets the North!
Wildcards!
All 3 are still up for grabs, with 6 teams competing.
Deadtlanta only have a chance if they beat Los Angeles (they will have tiebreaker), and only if Manglesota also loses. (Deadtlanta loses tiebreakers to Keen Play)
Manglesota is in on a win (against Detroit).
Manglesota is in on a draw only if Deadtlanta beat Los Angeles.
Keen Play is in on a win (against Illadelph) or a draw (they have tiebreaker over Vampa Bay). (They drew)
Los Angeles is in on a win (against Deadtlanta) or a draw (they have tiebreaker over Vampa Bay).
Vampa Bay is in if one of the following happen:
Los Angeles loses (against Deadtlanta) (Vampa Bay loses tiebreakers against Los Angeles)
Manglesota doesn't win (against Detroit)
AFC has 11 teams! .. in WEEK FOURTEEN. OMERGAWD
West: Las Fangas (W) - 72 - playoff spot week 12, division title week 12, secured the bye week 13
South: Orcston (S) - 69 - playoff spot week 13, division title week 13
East: New Ziggland (E) - 64 - playoff spot week 13, division title week 13
North: No-Skincinnati (N) - 57 - playoff spot week 13, division title week 13
Tijuana (W) - 60 - playoff spot week 13
HEnnessy (S) - 53 - playoff spot week 14
Jakesonville (S) - 51 - playoff spot week 14
Wargami (E) - 50
Pittsburgh (N) - 48
Cleaved Land (N) - 44
Denver (W) - 44
AFC only has one major race left:
One wildcard spot. Tijuana has number 5 locked up. HEnnessy is number 6.
The last wildcard spot has 5 teams competing for it:
Cleaved Land is in only if they win (against Buffalo). (They didn't) They have tiebreakers over both Denver and Jakesoneville.
Denver is in only if they win (against Jakesoneville) and Wargami doesn't win (against Brew More) and Cleaved Land doesn't win (against Buffalo). (They didn't)
Jakesoneville is in only if they win (against Denver) and Wargami doesn't win (against Brew More) and Cleaved Land doesn't win (against Buffalo). (They did!) |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Jun 06, 2024 - 09:19 |
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 13
Ahhhhhh. Now we’re talkin’. Grip it and rip it folks, ‘cause week 13 was as satisfying as cracking a cold one on a hot summer day while watching your kids mow the lawn. Two weeks of threats paid off (a bit too well)!
Dead of the Week
Pascal [CU]: Wargami big un; Guard, Mighty Blow, Grab, Block
Ruth Nyota: Trans-Fat Crisco halfling; Defensive
Micah Neowyld: Trans-Fat Crisco blitzer; no skills
Jortson DeVille Sr.: Jakesonville lineman; Block, Wrestle
Tyler Leskew [UCSD]: Las Fangas runner; Wrestle, Dodge, Tackle
Jack Meathook: Denver lineman; Dirty Player, Wrestle, Guard
Mitchy Spearchucker: Denver thrower; Block
Troy Pollard: Dallas runner; Block, +MA, Dodge, On the Ball
Dasher Geaux [CIN]: Buffalo lineman; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Defensive, Dodge
Bruce Smith: Buffalo lineman; Kick, Strip Ball
Step on Titt [BPS]: HEnnessey lineman; Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, +ST, Block
Skirs Nikkis: Detroit beastman; Guard, Block
Death of the Week: Y’all are just cruel. Las Fangas finally loses a vampire, a beautiful vampire runner with wrestle and tackle and dodge (oh my!), and you HAVE to go out and kill a bunch of other consequential players! We were still going to give poor Tyler DOTW honors, but then we looked a bit closer (due to a bunch of threatening emails from the board of directors). Wargami lost themselves a buff n’ rowdy big un with 4 core skills. Dallas lost their good runner and had to play week 14 with a freakin’ dwarf blitzer as their ball carrier! And don’t even get me started on the death of Step on Titt, one of the most hilarious deaths in any season. I mean, knine was trying to get this guy killed all season and he ended up helping the team win matches, both with his boot and his shoulder. SINN should be doing a showcase of hilarious Step on Titt gifs and dirty poems! But no, you had to squish all the good stuff into one week. And sure, maybe it is our fault a bit for all the threats, but then you go and kill one of Buffalo’s actual real good players, the one who doesn’t take every other week off like some *cough cough Tom and Julio cough* players. That’s right, Dasher Geaux bit the dust this week. Gah! Fine! Stuff another DOTW trophy on your mantle, Jeffro.
Maimed of the Week
Gabriela Jabbert: Trans-Fat Crisco lineman (-ST); Wrestle, Kick
Darrell Green IV: Witchington lineman (-ST); Block
Santiago Myrddin: Baltimore lineman (-MA); no skills
Hidiri Kingurvind: Pittsburgh thrower (-MA); Leader, Dodge
Jamarr "Totally not a Cylon" Graves: Vampa Bay runner (-AV); Defensive, Dodge
1010011010: New New Orleans lineman (-AV); no skills
Joe Dirte [OTT]: Szeattle lineman (-AV); Block, Guard, Dodge, Side Step
Larindi Baugi: Szeattle lineman (-AV); Kick, Shadowing
Trace Alehouse [MU]: Kansas City blitzer (-AV); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Juggernaut, +AG
The Great Gorian [FSR]: Dallas runner (-PA); Block, Side Step, +MA
Total NI this week: 12
Total MNG this week: 15
Total stat busts this week: 11
Total deaths this week: 12
Total SI/RIP: 50 |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 08, 2024 - 21:51 |
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Ex-con Playoff Preview: NBFL Season 32
Welcome back, NBFL fans, to another addition of the infamous Ex-con Playoff Preview! While historically woefully inaccurate, our foresight has recently been on point by picking Nelphine to win (in a shameless attempt to use the power of the Ex-con Curse to prevent him from doing so) and of course picking myself (ribbit). Can we make it three in a row? Let's find out!
NFC Playoffs
The NFC is going to be a brutal gauntlet for someone to get through, as all seven coaches have at least been to a Super Bowl (with six winning at least one). Add that to the fact that five of the teams had 8 wins, but the two that didn't were Stimme and Grue...well, whoever claims the NFC crown will have earned it, that's for damn sure.
1. Szeattle Scimitars / NFC West / 8-5-1 / 71 pts
The Scimitars are once again looking like a top contender, securing the bye via tiebreakers to give themselves a great shot at reaching their fourth straight NFC title game. Led by the revived Seth B [BALL], the roster has been chipped away at over time but still has the tools it needs to win it all (again).
2. New New Orleans Santas / South / 8-5-1 / 71
Coach Dash has been competitive with humans so far, but has yet to reach the heights that he did with chaos dwarfs. Does he have enough stats and inducements to get it done this time?
3. New York Kroaks / East / 8-4-2 / 68
The defending champs couldn't secure the bye due to only tying a wild game against the next team listed in the season finale. No longer having an AG blitzer to help, there is more pressure than ever on Bob Kuechenberg [Miami] to make the key plays.
4. Chic'A'Ghost Bats / North / 8-3-3 / 65
The 2-0-3 record to start the season seems like a lifetime ago, as the Bats figured things out from there and haven't lost since. Draft "experts" must also wish they could have seen the big picture when players like ''Style'' Adams have evolved into potential monsters.
5. Los Angeles Glams / West / 7-5-2 / 64
The Glams are a perennial playoff team, with this iteration being led by Earnest "Mistakes" Jones and a solid group of positionals around him. Can this battle tested squad recapture the magic that they had in seasons 20 and 23 when they won the titles?
6. Manglesota Lyc'ns / North / 8-2-4 / 62
The Lyc'ns are the team constantly underestimated in the NFC, being stuck in a division with both Grue and Aste yet still making the playoffs three out of five seasons so far. Will Gabe L. [BAL] be able to lead the squad back to the Super Bowl like he did two seasons ago?
7. Keen Play Hackers / North / 6-6-2 / 60
I'm not sure how much chance we have in the NFC moving forward if Grue can make the playoffs with first season Nurgle, but we'll deal with that later. For now, the Hackers will have to find some sort of cheat code to win their opener without offensive engine Johnson [MzSt], who is missing the contest.
NFC Wildcard Round
(2) New New Orleans Santas vs (7) Keen Play Hackers
These two are just destined to play each other, I suppose. Dash and Grue were longtime division rivals in the NFC North, yet they somehow meet again despite Dash fleeing from, er, leaving for greener pastures. Likewise, they are both playing different races and face off for the first time with their new squads. Unfortunately for the Santas, they won't be able to rely on their usual inducement help as the Hackers come in lighter (as of the time of writing)!
Prediction: New New Orleans 2 - 1 Keen Play Hackers (OT)
This game will naturally be close as both coaches know the other well, and have skills to counter each other in places. The lack of a dynamic ball carrier/retriever will ultimately be too much for the Hackers to overcome, however.
(3) New York Kroaks vs (6) Manglesota Lyc'ns
Another fascinating rematch, as the Kroaks and Lyc'ns are set to face off twice in the same season just as they did three campaigns ago. That time, Manglesota won both the regular season and playoff matchups (NFC Div round); this time, the frogs won the regular season battle, but at a cost. Could coach Lorebass' foresight to kill off Benjas prove to be the difference? Or will history repeat itself with a season series sweep?
Prediction: New York 1 - 0 Manglesota
It will likely prove costly again, but the frogs find a way to get past the dogos & friends.
(4) Chic'A'Ghost Bats vs (5) Los Angeles Glams
This could arguably be the most intriguing matchup of the entire first round, as Stimme gets the first shot at taking down a vampire team in the playoffs. The Glams did get a big win over a different vampire squad late in the year, helping to determine the final playoff picture. Are there any strategies that they learned during the game to use in this one? The fans will be very, very eager to find out.
Prediction: Chic'A'Ghost 3 - 2 Los Angeles (OT)
The wizard (and extra apos, I assume) will be just enough to make the difference.
NFC Divisional Round
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (4) Chic'A'Ghost Bats
Nelphine now faces the challenge that few have figured out this season: how in the hell do you stop Vampires?! Certainly he has some tools at his disposal, but what good are they in the face of the terrors of the night?
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 Chic'A'Ghost (OT)
Well, Nelphine is a pro at pulling games out of his ass and he finds a way to do it again.
(2) New New Orleans Santas vs (3) New York Kroaks
Humans and frogs are relatively similar in build, with the big, four blitzers, and St2 catchers. But the extra cost of frogs (you know, for all their leapy stuff) is countered by the lower cost and therefor inducements that humans can get. The two teams played to a tie last season, which will not be permitted this time around.
Prediction: New New Orleans 1 - 2 New York
Turns out all that leapy stuff can be handy! And the frogs might not be giving up a ton of inducements after going through necro in the previous round, so they find a way to BS this game as well.
NFC Championship Game
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (3) New York Kroaks
A rematch! These two played in an epic, uh...well whatever this was in last season's NFC title game. Neither scored on their offensive drive, and we headed to OT with the frogs receiving. Of course, then we got the infamous 'surf two SS DE blitzers' play, and the frogs never looked back.
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 New York
Revenge! Also, not having that Ag4 Blitzer doesn't help in this matchup.
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AFC Playoffs
1. Las Fangas Stargazers / AFC West / 9-3-2 / 72 pts
All hail the night! The new AFC overlords have shown us the power of 2020 Vampires, and are looking to stake their claim (metaphorically) to the championship with players like Rúmil Vardalas [WAS].
2. Orcston Oilers / South / 9-2-3 / 69
Apparently Baz can play bash? He cleared opponents off the field left and right this season, with players like Assiniboine Assisinator [MB] leading the way. Will the strategy continue to work in the playoffs?
3. New Ziggland Chariots / East / 7-5-2 / 64
Perhaps through smoke and mirrors (or other kinds of smoke), the Chariots won the East with their non-sensible roster and are looking to make noise in the playoffs. But they'll have to try to get through the first round without homegrown Ja'Whaun Bently, who is missing the contest.
4. No-Skincinnati Bungles / North / 6-5-3 / 57
The Bungles have made their third straight playoff appearances (pretty impressive for Khemri!) and even made the AFC title game last season (which went to kicks). Getting back will be difficult, however, having lost two Tomb Guardians in the past few weeks.
5. Tijuana Charros / West / 6-6-2 / 60
The Charros are a usual playoff contender but have had the misfortune of being in the same division with Winter's elves and now his vampires. Can they claw their way to a possible rematch against their division rival in later rounds?
6. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers / 5-6-3 / 53
The Hangovers are making their first playoff appearance, emerging through an apparently very crowded AFC wildcard picture. They've been pretty beat up this season, however, and will have to find a way to get the ball to S. Smith Sr. [CAR] multiple times a game to have a chance.
7. Jakesonville Jortles / 6-3-5 / 51
Coach Mrt finally squeaks into the playoffs with his rats, after several years of trying. Almost every player on the roster has picked up some sort of injury along the way, but that doesn't matter as much when Harold Floyd "Tina" Brooks [FAY] has already stolen the ball.
AFC Wildcard Round
(2) Orcston Oilers vs (7) Jakesonville Jortles
Another classic battle between division rivals! Coaches Baz and Mrt have fought each other for quite some time now in the South, and they match up once again here. This season, the Oilers won both contests 2:1 thanks to a combined 64 blocks and...[checks notes twice]...24 fouls? Are we sure we have the right team? Either way, this resulted in a meager 172 turns total for the poor rats. Can they find a way to stay on the field long enough to get a win this time around?
Prediction: Orcston 2 - 1 Jortles
The formula has been established, and there won't be any variation from it unless the rats hit upon a golden opportunity early.
(3) New Ziggland Chariots vs (6) HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
The Chariots, a veteran playoff squad, welcome the newbie Hangovers to the gauntlet of NBFL postseason blood bowl. Unfortunately for the rookies, they won't be getting the benefit of inducements that they perhaps hoped against a different opponent. And while they may not be able to take advantage of the short bench of New Ziggland, their best chance of winning could be to capitalize on the smol amount of rerolls that coach Wolvezzz keeps in his back pocket.
Prediction: New Ziggland 2 - 1 HEnnessy
It doesn't feel like the elves have a ton of avenues to victory here, and the distinct difference in playoff experience could be too much to overcome.
(4) No-Skincinnati Bungles vs (5) Tijuana Charros
Rounding out our Wild Card games is this potential slobber-knocker of a contest, with the Bungles and Charros battling it out in a block-fest. There isn't much in-depth analysis needed here: both sides will attempt to remove as much as possible so that either Poison 'Patella' Ivy or Zion Bowens [H] scores twice. Unless just once is enough, of course.
Prediction: No-Skincinnati 1 - 2 Tijuana
Two teams playing with less than full strength will throw hay-makers until the other drops. And in this case, the skeletons are the first to fall.
AFC Divisional Round
(1) Las Fangas Stargazers vs (5) Tijuana Charros
Division rivals meet again! Coach Amon has been tormented by Wintergreen for a while now, so perhaps it is his time to pull a huge upset! You know, against the team with the best record, a great coach, and an OP race.
Prediction: Las Fangas 2 - 0 Tijuana
Alas, maybe not this time. But perhaps the next!
(2) Orcston Oilers vs (3) New Ziggland Chariots
Well this should be a fascinating battle, as both teams will have a similar gameplan: brutally remove the other until nothing remains! Who will be able to bring their plan to fruition?
Prediction: Orcston 1 - 0 New Ziggland
Feels like a game where a Claw or two could help, alas coach Wolvezzz has been converted to the Church of Pro and doesn't appear to have any.
AFC Championship Game
(1) Las Fangas Stargazers vs (2) Orcston Oilers
I feel like we've yet to see these two face off in the playoffs, despite both being succesful with elven teams at the same time. But now both are on different races, and they couldn't be more different! Can coach Baz find a way to foil the Vampires, which have run roughshod over the conference thus far?
Prediction: Las Fangas 2 - 1 Orcston (OT)
Orcs don't have a lot of garlic, it appears.
NBFL Super Bowl 32
Szeattle Scimitars vs Las Fangas Stargazers
While I generally don't go with the chalk pick of both top seeds, this seems like the most likely outcome! Las Fangas was clearly the best team in the AFC, and while the NFC is a brutal collection of quality coaches, Nelphine has the advantage of the bye. Can Seth prove to be the ultimate anti-vampire tool, a true Van Hellsing, as it were?
Prediction: Las Fangas 3 - 2 Szeattle
Turns out that a Witch Elf is not quite the same as a Witch hunter. |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap.
Last edited by ex-convict on Jun 19, 2024; edited 7 times in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Jun 08, 2024 - 23:41 |
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2 Nurgle
1 Chaos Dwarf
1 Orc
1 Khemri
1 Necromantic
1 Human
1 Skaven
2 Vampires
1 Slann
1 Dark Elf
2 High Elves
Good mix this season (3 mutant, 1 bash, 4 dead, 3 dash, 3 elves) |
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Wolvezzz
Joined: Sep 13, 2016
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2024 - 04:33 |
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Do I qualify as a mutant, considering I have zero mutations.
Id rather be called Dash, but i'll accept Bash |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2024 - 06:48 |
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The Playoff Picture predicts pizazz! Sparkles for everyone!
NFC Wild Card round:
New New Orleans Santas
(Human - 2220TV)
dashergeaux
vs
Keen Play Hackers
(Nurgle - 1980TV)
happygrue
Both coaches have Superbowl experience, Superbowl championship, and a rivalry extending back to, well, before this broadcaster was in the league! But neither are bringing superbowl teams.. so what do we have? The Santas.. are Humans. And humans are ugly. And bad. But.. holy crap, the Hackers are even uglier. And badder. They're Nurgle! Since one is a bad roster, and the other is a bad team, I'm going purely based on their Superbowl pedigrees. I'm also told by reputable sources that I'm insane, but I really dislike Humans!
Keen Play Hackers 2 - 1 New New Orleans Santas
New York Kroaks
(Slann- 2340TV)
ex-convict
vs
Manglesota Lyc'ns
(Necromantic Horror - 2420TV)
Lorebass
Lorebass is the laughing stock of the.. wait.. no that's the other teams he played. This one is serious! And Slann, well, they aren't competit... no, wait they have the most superbowl wins of any roster. Huh. Well.. what the hell do we do now?? The Slann are the Defending Champions, but Genome Ratkin [CIN] singlehandedly destroys teams.
Gotta go with the riff raff on this one.
New York Kroaks 1 - 0 Manglesota Lyc'ns
Chic'A'Ghost Bats
(Vampire - 1950TV)
asteflix
vs
Los Angeles Glams
(High Elf - 2470TV)
Stimme
Vampires. Overpowered monstrosities says asteflix. Stimme. Overpowered monstrosity says those with common sense. Particularly with Far Side holy crap. I would definitely say the Glams have the edge in this match up, but.. we care not. I decreed in the pre-season predictions that the Bats would make it to the Superbowl, so we're sticking with our guns.
Chic'A'Ghost Bats 3 - 2 Los Angeles Glams
NFC Divisional round:
Szeattle Scimitars
(Dark Elf)
Nelphine
vs
Keen Play Hackers
(Nurgle)
happygrue
Gigantic dark elves. First season nurgle. I realize this is an obscene suggestion that we could even puke up this matchup, but, I'm going to take it and ride it all the way.
Szeattle Scimitars 2 - 1 Keen Play Hackers
New York Kroaks
(Slann)
ex-convict
vs
Los Angeles Glams
(High Elf)
Stimme
The frogs vs the elves. Diving tackle vs dump off. Pogo sticks vs leap. Wrackle vs Wrackle. Strip ball vs strip ball. Agility up the ying vs agility up the yang. Kroxigor vs more injuries than anyone else in the league. Do we go with age and experience, or do we go with youth and exuberance?
To hell with it. If you can bring that many injuries into the playoffs, you get a pass from me!
Los Angeles Glams 2 - 1 New York Kroaks
NFC Conference Championship
Szeattle Scimitars
(Dark Elf)
Nelphine
vs
Los Angeles Glams
(High Elf)
Stimme
On one side, the evils of high tv. On the other, glories of the intended way! On one side, smashing as positional. With the other, positional smashing! On one side, dark. On the other side, light. On one side, beautiful elven grace. On the other side, hideous elven abominations. This. Is. BLOOD BOWL! Whenever we face off, one side or the other gets utterly smashed into ruins. Skill, ability, players, positioning.. none of that matters. Just roll dem cas, and clear 'em! Who will it be this time? Szeattle was down to 5 elves in our last match, so I'm guessing Nuffle will laugh at Los Angeles this time.
Szeattle Scimitars 2 - 0 Los Angeles Glams
AFC Wild Card round:
Orcston Oilers
(Orc - 2340TV)
Bazakastine
vs
Jakesonville Jortles
(Skaven - 2230TV)
mrt1212
The Jortles average less than 100 turns per game against the Oilers. Orcs are also obscene. Bazakastine is even more obscene. mrt will sneak and snak and snip and stab.. but it will all be for nought against the juggernaut that is Orcston.
Orcston Oilers 2 - 1 Jakesonville Jortles
New Ziggland Chariots
(Chaos Dwarf - 1990TV)
Wolvezzz
vs
HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
(High Elf - 2030TV)
knine
New Ziggland vs HEnnessy. Some may look at this and think 'ah, mutant smash against elven prance'. But.. they would be wrong. Wolvezzz refuses to play chaos dwarves. Ever. This is actually two elven teams who will dance around each other like lutes. Of course, chaos dwarves can't be elves. And we definitely, never, ever, get proven wrong by Wolvezzz. NEVER. STOP IT.
HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers 3 - 2 New Ziggland Chariots
No-Skincinnati Bungles
(Tomb Kings - 2280TV)
Dutchlife
vs
Tijuana Charros
(Nurgle - 2190TV)
Amon242
Ah yes. Khemri. The team to rule them all, the one that we all root for. We WANT them to get to the playoffs, but they never do. Er, hey Dutchlife? They never do. What... what are you doing here AGAIN? With TWO rookie Tomb Guardians? And a rookie Blitz-ra??!! We don't know what is happening, but Tijuana takes it anyway.
Tijuana Charros 2 - 0 No-Skincinnati Bungles
AFC Divisional round:
Las Fangas Stargazers
(Vampire)
wintergreen13
vs
HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
(High Elf)
knine
Vampires. Elves. Elves. Vampires.. wait.. didn't we see this already? Right! The Glams beat the Bats! HEnnessy will analyze, and study, and do all the right things.. and wintergreen13 will laugh and laugh and laugh. The Titanic Hangovers just don't have the players to cover what they need, and the Stargazers will gaze aplenty.
Las Fangas Stargazers 2 - 1 HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
Orcston Oilers
(Orc)
Bazakastine
vs
Tijuana Charros
(Nurgle)
Amon242
Orcs. The powerhouse of 2020. The absurdity of absurdity. The monstrous strength with insane blitzers that can't be stopped. The av10+ solid wall of ar... wait. Tijuana has claws. LOTS of claws. And mighty blow. And a coach that knows how to use them. Can openers. More can openers! Orcston .. suffers! Orcston.. falters... Orcston.. braaaaap they're freaking orcs, they win anyway.
Orcston Oilers 1 - 0 Tijuana Charros
AFC Conference Championship:
Las Fangas Stargazers
(Vampire)
wintergreen13
vs
Orcston Oilers
(Orc)
Bazakastine
Unfortunately for the Oilers, the previous game annihilated their players. They are in no position to face a strong vampire team. Unfortunately for the Stargazers, they're still orcs, and they take no prisoners, removing 3 vampires before the end.
Las Fangas Stargazers 2 - 0 Orcston Oilers
SUPERBOWL
Las Fangas Stargazers
(Vampire)
wintergreen13
vs
Szeattle Scimitars
(Dark Elf)
Nelphine
An epic clash between elves and vamp... wait.
Nope nope nope. This is wrong.. *looks at notes*
That's what I thought! Chic'A'Ghost is supposed to win against Los Angeles! What is going on??
Quick! We need to change this up..
NFC Divisional - Chic'A'Ghost plays against New York, no question, vampires win. That means.. NFC Championship is Chic'A'Ghost against Szeattle. Ugh, you know, that seems an awful lot like.. elves against vampires.. didn't we say this never ends well? No WONDER HEnnessy lost! The Bats take that too...
So..
let's try again.
SUPERBOWL!
Las Fangas Stargazers
(Vampire)
wintergreen13
vs
Chic'A'Ghost Bats
(Vampire)
asteflix
ALL HAIL OUR VAMPIRE OVERLORDS
Vampires win. |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Aug 27, 2024 - 04:54 |
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NBFL Season 33 Draft Grades
Once again we look at how each team did in the draft! Did they fill their needs? Were they able to acquire a game-changing player? And why the hell did they select that player?? Find out the answer to these questions, and possibly more, further ahead:
1. Detroit TBA
Race: High Elves
Coach: HouseBlackfyre
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: N/A
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 1.4 Line/sk/blz // AG, [Chosen Primary], Block, Dodge, Surehands // 3 // Catcher
Comp 2.1 Skilled // Dodge, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball, Diving Tackle // 0 // Blitzer
Comp 3.1 Lineman // Block, Dodge, Frenzy, Tackle // 1 // lineman
Main 1 Blitzer // 29 // Strip Ball, Guard, (+AG), (+MA), (+MA) // blitzer
Main 33 Line/Skilled/Blitzer // 1 // Block, Dodge, Tackle, (+MA) // Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Aste: B
Winter: B
2. Indianapolis Bolts
Race: Dwarf
Coach: Miyuso
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 1-1-12
Draft Needs
-Yeah...new Blitzers, new Deathroller, and a game-winning Runner
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 2 Blitzer // 10 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Side Step, Defensive // Blitzer
Main 34 Strength // 4 // Juggernaut, Strip Ball, Sprint, [Chosen Primary], [Chosen Primary] // Troll Slayer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C-
Aste: D-
Winter: D
3. Witchington Commies
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Garcangel
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 5-3-6
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-Traded #13 and #46 for #3
Draft Picks
Main 3 Blitzer // 6 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm, (+ST) // Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A+
Aste: A-
Winter: A-
4. Carolina Pantzers
Race: Nurgle
Coach: Apojar
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 0/5/9
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 4 Blitzer/Strength // 24 // Block, Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow, (+ST) // Nurgle Warrior
Main 36 Blitzer/Strength // 5 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow // Bloater
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Aste: A+
Winter: A
5. Miami Thrillers
Race: Necromantic
Coach: Spinball
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: N/A
Draft Needs
-All (new franchise)
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 1.2 blitz/strength // Guard, MA,Block, ST,Break Tackle // 21 // Flesh Golem
Comp 2.3 Skilled // Block, Dodge, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut // 0 // werewolf
Comp 3.3 Blitzer // Guard, Mighty Blow // 9 // wraith
Main 5 Line/Skilled/Blitzer // 16 // Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary], (+ST) // Werewolf
Main 37 Blitzer // 4 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard // wraith
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: B+
Winter: C
6. Hairizona Metalheads
Race: Orc
Coach: BaronBucky
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: N/A
Draft Needs
-All (new franchise)
Draft Notes
-2nd round main pick?
Draft Picks
Comp 1.1 Skilled/blitzer // Block,Sure Hands,AG,Guard,Dodge // 25 // Blitzer
Comp 2.4 Strength // Block, Guard, Stand firm, [Chosen Primary] // 2 // Big Un Blocker
Comp 3.4 Strength // [chosen primary],Block // 1 // Big Un Blocker
Main 6 Blitzer // 11 // Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle, (+ST) // Blitzer
Main 38 Big Guy // 7 // (Chosen Secondary), Pro, Guard // Untrained Troll
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Aste: A-
Winter: A
7. Manglesota Lyc'ns
Race: Necromantic
Coach: Lorebass
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 8-2-4
Draft Needs
-One Wraith
Draft Notes
-Traded #22 and #54 for #7
Draft Picks
Main 7 Blitzer // 7 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Sure Hands, Break Tackle, (+AG), Dodge // WRAITH
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C-
Aste: ? D
Winter: B
8. Kansas City Sheep
Race: Chaos
Coach: Hyperbolemur
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: N/A
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 1.3 Skilled/Thrower // AG, AG, MA, MA, ST // 17 // Beastman
Comp 2.2 Skilled/Blitzer // Block, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary] // 20 // Beastman
Comp 3.2 Strength // Block, Guard // 9 // Warrior
Main 8 Strength // 6 // Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, (+ST) // Warrior
Main 40 Strength // 1 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow // Warrior
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A+
Aste: A-
Winter: A+
9. Dallas Crowbar
Race: Dwarf
Coach: OTS
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 3/5/6
Draft Needs
-Redraft as Elves
Draft Notes
-Not playing elves
Draft Picks
Main 9 Skilled // 18 // Block, Dodge, Side Step, (+MA) // Runner
Main 41 Strength // 2 // Juggernaut, Guard, [Chosen Primary], [Chosen Primary] // Troll Slayer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: E
Aste: C+
Winter: C
10. Baltimore Nevermore
Race: Khorne
Coach: KidCrestHill
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 5/1/8
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-...Thick Skull?
Draft Picks
Main 10 Big Guy // 12 // [Chosen Secondary],[Chosen Secondary], [Chosen Secondary], [Chosen Secondary] // Bloodspawn
Main 42 Strength // 4 // Block, [Chosen Primary], Mighty Blow, Thick Skull // Bloodseeker
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C
Aste: C+
Winter: A
11. Brew More Gents
Race: Dwarf
Coach: ryanfitz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 4/4/6
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 2.8 blitz/strength // Guard,Stand Firm,Mighty Blow // 18 // Dorf
Main 11 Blitzer/Skilled // 28 // Block, Sure Hands, Tackle, (+AG), [Chosen Primary] // Runner
Main 43 Lineman/Blitzer // 6 // Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Grab // Dorf Blocker Line
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Aste: A+
Winter: A
12. Buffalo Chill
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Jeffro
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 4/5/5
Draft Needs
-Blitzer
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 12 Skilled // 17 // Block, Dodge, Side Step, (+MA), Mighty Blow // Witch
Main 44 Lineman/Skilled // 16 // Sprint, Block, Sure Hands, (+MA) // Witch
Draft Grades
Ex-con: D
Aste: D+
Winter: D
13. Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners
Race: Human
Coach: Cervus
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 0/4/10
Draft Needs
-ST Blitzer
Draft Notes
-Traded 3 for 13 & 46
Draft Picks
Main 13 Big Guy // 14 // [Chosen Primary) , Block, Pro, Defensive // Ogre
Main 35 Lineman/Skilled // 2 // Sneaky Git, Dirty Player // catcher
Main 46 Blitzer // 18 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball // Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C
Aste: D-
Winter: C
14. Denver Bubonics
Race: Skaven
Coach: jmonforton
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 5/3/6
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 14 Big Guy // 14 // Block, Guard, Stand Firm // Rat Ogre
Main 45 Line/Skilled/Blitzer // 7 // Block, Mighty Blow, Guard // Line rat
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Aste: C-
Winter: C+
15. Pittsburgh Pirouettes
Race: Pro Elf
Coach: Keshdr
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 6/2/6
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 15 Skilled/Blitzer // 17 // Dodge, Tackle, Strip Ball // Catcher
Main 47 Lineman // 3 // Dirty Player, Sneaky Git // lineman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: "meh, B-"
Winter: A
16. Deadtlanta Howlcons
Race: Necromantic
Coach: GotrekSlayer
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 5/5/4
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-How tf you guys let these players fall?
Draft Picks
Comp 2.7 Skilled/blitzer // Wrestle,Tackle,Leap,Dauntless, MA // 10 // Ghoul Runner
Comp 3.6 Strength // Block, Mighty Blow // 2 // flesh golem
Main 16 Blitzer // 5 // Block, Tackle, Dodge, Mighty Blow, (+AG) // Wight
Main 49 Lineman/Skilled/Blitzer // 3 // Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle // Ghoul
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Aste: A-
Winter: A-
17. Orkland Wargs
Race: Orcs
Coach: Xelron
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 5/5/4 (Wargami)
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-2nd round blitzer choice?
Draft Picks
Main 17 Strength // 22 // Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, (+MA) // Bub (Big un Blocker)
Main 48 Skilled/Blitzer // 9 // Block, Tackle, [Chosen Primary] // Orc Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Aste: A-
Winter: A-
18. Vampa Bay Familiars
Race: Vampires
Coach: shook_one
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 6/6/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 2.6 Line/Skilled // MA, MA, Block // 6 // vampire thrower
Main 18 Lineman/Skilled // 21 // Block, Side Step, (+MA) // vampire runner
Main 50 Big Guy // 17 // Break Tackle, Guard, Juggernaut // vargheist
Draft Grades
Ex-con: wtf
Aste: A++
Winter: A+
19. Jakesonville Jortles
Race: Skaven
Coach: mrt1212
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 6/3/5
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 19 Blitzer // 14 // Tackle, Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm // Blitzer
Main 51 LIneman/Blitzer // 4 // Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm, Grab // Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Aste: A
Winter: A (F)
20. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
Race: High Elf
Coach: knine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 5/6/3
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 2.5 Blitzer/Strength // Dodge, Grab, Guard, Mighty Blow, Standfirm // 13 // Blitzer
Comp 3.5 lineman // Dirty Player,[chosen primary],Block // 0 // Lineman
Main 20 Lineman/Skilled // 5 // Sprint, Sure Feet, Side Step, (+MA) // catcher
Main 52 Skilled/Thrower // 9 // Block, Dirty Player, Dodge, (+MA) // Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: B+
Winter: A
21. New York Kroaks
Race: Slann
Coach: ex-convict
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 8/4/2
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer
Draft Notes
-Traded #26 and #58 for #21
Draft Picks
Main 21 Blitzer/Strength // 11 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle // Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: A-
Winter: A
22. Illadelph Sunshine
Race: Chaos
Coach: charlie1331
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: No bueno
Draft Needs
-to play Elves
Draft Notes
-Worst Trade In NBFL History??
-Traded #7 for #22 and 54
Draft Picks
Main 22 Skilled/Blitzer // 21 // Tackle, (+MA), Pro, Mighty Blow // Beastman
Main 39 Blitzer/Strength // 6 // Block, Tackle, Guard, Grab // Chaos Warrior
Main 54 Blitzer/Strength // 10 // Thick Skull, Tackle, (+MA) Beastman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: E
Aste: D
Winter: C?
23. Los Angeles Glams
Race: High Elf
Coach: Stimme
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 7/5/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 23 Blitzer/Strength // 19 // [Chosen Secondary], Mighty Blow, Pro, Dauntless, Guard // Blitzer
Main 55 Line/Skilled/Blitzer // 3 // Wrestle, [Chosen Primary] // Lineman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Aste: A+
Winter: A+
24. New New Orleans Santas
Race: Human
Coach: dashergeaux
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 8/5/1
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 24 Blitzer // 13 // Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle, (+MA) // Blitzer
Main 56 Big Guy // 6 // Block, Guard, Stand Firm // Ogre
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: A-
Winter: A-
25. Tijuana Charros
Race: Nurgle
Coach: Amon
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 6/6/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 25 Strength // 20 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary] // Pixel Killer
Main 57 Lineman // 0 // Dirty Player // Rotter
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: B+
Winter: A
26. No-Skincinnati Bungles
Race: Khemri
Coach: Dutchlife
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 6/5/3
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-Traded #21 for #26 and #58
Draft Picks
Main 26 Strength // 23 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow // Tomb Guardian
Main 53 Blitzer // 8 // Mighty Blow, Tackle, Wrestle, Guard // blitzra
Main 58 Strength // 8 // Block, Stand Firm, Guard // tomb guardian
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Aste: C+
Winter: B+
27. Chic'A'Ghost Bats
Race: Vampires
Coach: Asteflix
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: Defending Champs
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-Traded #32 and #64 for #27
Draft Picks
Main 27 Strength // 2 // Block, Dodge, (+AG), (+MA) // Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: S : )
Aste: A+
Winter: A+
28. Szeattle Scimitars
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Nelphine
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 8/5/1
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 28 Blitzer // 13 // Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow Dark Elf // Blitzer
Main 60 Lineman/Blitzer // 14 // Block, Tackle // Dark Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: B+
Winter: B+
29. Keen Play Hackers
Race: Nurlge
Coach: happygrue
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 6/6/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 29 Strength // 21 // Block, Guard, Mighty Blow // Bloater
Main 62 Big Guy // 6 // Block, Guard, Stand Firm // Big Guy
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Aste: A
Winter: A
30. New Ziggland Chariots
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Coach: Wolvezzz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 7/5/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 30 Blitzer/Strength // 5 // Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro // Chaos Dwarf Blocker
Main 62 N/A
Draft Grades
Ex-con: P
Aste: C
Winter: C
31. Las Fangas Stargazers
Race: Vampire
Coach: wintergreen
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 9/3/2
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 31 Skilled // 18 // Block, (+MA) // Vampire Runner
Main 63 Blitzer/Strength // 10 // Block, Guard // Vampire Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Aste: C
Winter: D
32. Orcston Oilers
Race: Orc
Coach: Bazakastine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 9/2/3
Draft Needs
-
Draft Notes
-Traded #27 for #32 and #64
Draft Picks
Main 32 Strength/Big Guy // 12 // Block, Mighty Blow, Grab, Guard // Big Un
Main 59 Thrower // 16 // Block, Dodge, (+PA) // Thrower
Main 64 Blitzer/Strength // 2 // Block, Guard, Stand Firm // Big Un
Draft Grades
Ex-con: +PAssing
Aste: B
Winter: A |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Aug 29, 2024 - 03:30 |
|
going into season 33, while not all the teams are ready quite yet, we already have a good idea of TV ranges (asterisk indicates highest tv in that division):
The bigger guys: (yes, dark elves are BIG)
*AFCE, Buffalo, Dark Elf, 2930
*NFCE, Witchington, Dark Elf, 2880
NFCE, Illadelph, Chaos, 2830
*NFCW, Szeattle, Dark Elf, 2810
The big guys:
*AFCS, Indianapolis, Dwarf, 2730
*AFCN, Orkland, Orc, 2720
AFCN, Baltimore, Khorne, 2680
NFCE, New York, Slann, 2670
*AFCW, Denver, Skaven, 2660
AFCS, HEnnessy, High Elf, 2610
NFCW, Trans-fat Crisco, Human, 2600
AFCN, Pittsburgh, Pro Elf, 2570
NFCE, Dallas, Dwarf, 2560
AFCN, No-Skincinnati, Khemri, 2550
AFCS, Orcston, Orc, 2550
NFCW, Los Angeles, High Elf, 2510
AFCW, Las Fangas, Vampire, 2510
*NFCS, Deadlanta, Necromantic, 2500
AFCW, Tijuana, Nurgle, 2500
The not-as-big guys:
AFCE, New Ziggland, Chaos Dwarf, 2410
NFCS, New New Orleans, Human, 2390
NFCS, Vampa Bay, Vampire, 2380
*NFCN, Manglesota, Necromantic, 2350
AFCS, Jakesoneville, Skaven, 2340
AFCE, Brew More, Dwarf, 2310
NFCS, Carolina, Nurgle, 2300
NFCN, Chic'A'Ghost, Vampie, 2270
NFCN, Keen Play, Nurgle, 2240
Itty-bitty:
AFCE, Miami, Necromantic, 2160
NFCN, D-Town, High Elf, 2150
NFCW, Hairizona, Orc, 2090
AFCW, Kansas City, Chaos, 2030
Average TV by division:
NFCE: 2735
AFCN: 2630
AFCS: 2575
NFCW: 2520
AFCE: 2465
AFCW: 2425
NFCS: 2395
NFCN: 2250
League Average: 2501 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Sep 18, 2024 - 07:01 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 1
15 kills! A new Death of the Week record! And GODDAMN a lot of ‘em were good players. Let’s get into it, shall we?
Dead of the Week
Andy Mazurczak [POLI]: Brew More blocker; Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Grab
Wormmouth: Keen Play pestigor; Block, Two Heads
Casey Hampton [UT]: Keen Play bloater; Block, Mighty Blow, Guard
Michaela Ryan [UCONN]: Buffalo witch elf; +MA, Block, Mighty Blow, Side Step
Ronald Awatt [UTEP]: Manglesota ghoul; Block, Sure Hands, Side Step, Fend, Leap
Criterion Collex: Las Vegas thrall; Kick
Don Quey [IND]: Illadelph chosen blocker; Block, Dodge, Tackle, +MA
L. Scapula: No-Skincinnati skeleton; Wrestle, Dauntless, Fend
Eaton Sick: Tijuana pestigor; +MA, Block
Allen Robinson: Tijuana rotter; Block
vaguely familiar: Vampa Bay thrall; Dirty Player
Harrison Agnar [TT]: Carolina bloater; +ST, Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle
David "Bubba" Brooks [FAY]: Witchington blitzer; Guard, +MA, +MA, +AG, Dodge
Logan Boss: Los Angeles lineman; Sneaky Git, Dirty Player, Block
Tevrin "Slevin" Brandon: Los Angeles catcher; Block, Side Step, Dodge
Death of the Week: We barely know what to do with all this bounty. It felt like a new frontrunner for Death of the Week would appear after every game: first it was happygrue and ryanfitz trading draft pick kills, then lorebass absolutely wrecking Jeffro’s new witch while simultaneously sacrificing his legend ghoul. Then it happened: Apojar lost YET ANOTHER +ST bloater! I thought for sure DotW was sewn up, but garcangel had other plans. Bubba Brooks, a triple-stat dark elf blitzer, perished to close out the week in a blaze of glory, clinching the prize at the last moment. So to you, sweet Bubba (er… Bubba’s next of kin), I present the DotW trophy: hold it high and hold it proud.
Maimed of the Week
Familiar One: Vampa Bay thrall (-ST); Frenzy, Wrestle, Shadowing
Doug Cuzco [MIA]: Buffalo lineman (-AG); +ST, Block, Guard, Defensive
Bitch Trumissky: Buffalo runner (-AG); Safe Pass, On the Ball
Javon Solomon: Buffalo lineman (-AG); no skills
Mephisto Warzeka [WWAF]: Orkland big un (-AG); Block, Stand Firm, Guard, Diving Tackle, Mighty Blow, Tackle
Semise "Soil" Kofe [PSU]: Tijuana pestigor (-AG); Tackle, Wrestle, Strip Ball
Bobby Mitchell III: Witchington lineman (-MA); Block
Rayshawn Jortkins II: Jakesonville lineman (-MA); Kick, Dauntless
Flying Tiger [AF]: No-Skincinnati tomb guardian (-AV); Block, Stand Firm, Guard
Cam Lil Jortle: Jakesonville lineman (-AV); no skills
Whiskey Testaverde #16 (QB): Brew More runner (-PA); Wrestle, +MA
Cathwar Heinrik: Las Fangas thrall (-PA); Wrestle, Tackle
Hugh Nelson II [UH]: Pittsburgh blitzer (-PA); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Dodge
Thayer Mumford [BRO]: Jakesonville lineman (-PA); Wrestle, Dodge, Pro
Total NI this week: 17
Total MNG this week: 16
Total stat busts this week: 14
Total deaths this week: 15
Total SI/RIP: 62 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Sep 28, 2024 - 08:09 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 2
A regression toward the mean was expected after last week’s 15 (FIFTEEEEEEEEN!) kills, but the quality of dead players remains off the charts! Come peer into the body bags with the Death of the Week team and get nasty.
Dead of the Week
Not Dying Ryan: New Zig chorf blocker; +ST, +AV, Guard, Dodge, Grab
Dantzler [MSU]: Denver lineman; +ST, Block, Kick, Tackle, Mighty Blow
Karl Mecklenrat: Denver lineman; Wrestle
Davy Bowwie [Poli]: Baltimore bloodseeker; Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Block, Claws
familiarity II: Vampa Bay thrall; Wrestle
Houghton [SDSU]: Carolina pestigor; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Claws, Tackle
Death of the Week: It’s an exciting day at the DotW offices, as we unveil a brand new award! It’s the Most Ironic Death of the Week! Okay, it’s just the old award with a sticky note stuck to the top with “Most Ironic” written there in Sharpie, but it’s the spirit of the thing, y’know? Not Dying Ryan! Stalwart. Stout. Unmoving. Dead????!?!!!? DAMN. This dude had the most turns played in NBFL history (hey, if fitz posts it on Discord it must be true!) and was patiently waiting for the new Iron Hard Skin buffs to drop. Alas, he will have to wait until they get that update in hell, so should be any day now.
Sidenote: if anyone’s counting, Apojar lost another superstar pestigor this week, but still got beat out for DotW. Always the bridesmaid, this Carolina team!
Maimed of the Week
Zuri Henry [UTEP]: Jakesonville storm vermin (-ST); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm
Ronnie Brown [MIA]: Vampa Bay runner (-ST); Wrestle, Tackle, +MA, Dodge, Side Step
Karter Gorduz: Kansas City beastman (-ST); Wrestle
Rotmaree Slayer: Tijuana rotter (-AG); +ST, Block, Foul Appearance
Lee Shion: Miami ghoul (-MA); Sure Hands
Henry Mondeaux: New York kroxigor (-MA); Block, Guard, Stand Firm
''Attendant'' Brandon Spears: Chic’A’Ghost thrall (-AV); Wrestle
Gerald Gorestache: New New Orleans catcher (-AV); Block, Leap, Side Steps
Amari Cooper [BAMA]: Szeattle blitzer (-AV); Dodge, Side Step, Tackle, Diving Tackle, +ST, Mighty Blow
Cory Palestone: Los Angeles lineman (-AV); no skills
Jim Parker: Indianapolis dwarf blocker (-AV); Guard
William Fastorc: Buffalo lineman (-PA); no skills
Lance: Las Fangas thrall (-PA); Wrestle
John Tuitupou [HAW]: Hairizona troll (-PA); Block, Pro, Guard
Allen Rotterson: Tijuana pestigor (-PA); no skills
Total NI this week: 16
Total MNG this week: 22
Total stat busts this week: 15
Total deaths this week: 6
Total SI/RIP: 59 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Oct 15, 2024 - 04:29 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 3
Mwa ha ha ha ha hahahahahah!!!! MOAR DEAD BLOATERS. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.
Dead of the Week
Rising Roots: D-Town lineman; Wrestle
Max Garrar [OTT]: Manglesota wraith; Side Step, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Thick Skull, Fend
J Fleming [BRO]: Manglesota zombie; Wrestle
Khalrot Smack: Tijuana bloater; Block, Mighty Blow, Claws, Guard, Tackle
Lurker Green: Deadlanta zombie; Block, Guard
Bruce the Goose: HEnnessey lineman; Wrestle
Gallin Dalavesta: Pittsburgh thrower; Safe Pass, Fumblerooskie
Cody Latimer II: Witchington lineman; Block
Death of the Week: Well, Manglesota tried hard to win this week by losing two draft picks (including their last Ottawa player!), but Tijuana snuck past ‘em with the death of their homegrown superstar bloater Khalrot Smack. This keystone of the Tijuana defense was a mere 2 SPP away from rolling for a legend stat when he was struck down by Braydon “Bones” Rhome in Tijuana’s win over Deadlanta. In response to the news vampires all across the land threw lavish blood raves in celebration.
Maimed of the Week
Mark May V: Witchington lineman (-ST); Block
Genome Ratkin [CIN]: Manglesota golem (-AG); Block, Mighty Blow, Diving Tackle, Guard, Tackle, Defensive
Sandy: Las Vegas thrall (-AG); Wrestle
Alexander Annihilater: New New Orleans blitzer (-AV); +ST, Break Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, +ST
Tanner Leto [NOVA]: Dallas troll slayer (-AV); Juggernaut, Guard, Stand Firm, Tackle
Jordan tha Stash [KEN]: Brew More blocker (-PA); Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, +AV, Grab
Total NI this week: 18
Total MNG this week: 12
Total stat busts this week: 6
Total deaths this week: 8
Total SI/RIP: 44 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Oct 15, 2024 - 09:59 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 4
Well, we’re all sulking here at DotW due to grue winning YET ANOTHER THING. So yeah, whatever. Have your Death of the Week trophy, we could care less. You heard us! We’re going to Megan’s party and you can’t stop us!
Dead of the Week
I.M. Fort [SMAL]: Keen Play pestigor; +ST, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Block, Claws
Lil Gronk: Denver linerat; Dirty Player
Angel Bonecruncher: Kansas City beastman; Wrestle
not familiar III: Vampa Bay thrall; Wrestle
Wheelhouse Growers: D-Town lineman; Block
Baylon Spector: Buffalo assassin; Kick, Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, Block
Malik Hooker: Dallas dwarf blocker; Guard, Stand Firm
Ravens Flock: Baltimore lineman; Dirty Player, Block, Extra Arms, Disturbing Presence
Raymond BAMMMM Lewis: Baltimore khorngor; Guard
Death of the Week: I dunno about the rest of you, but I feel like this happygrue guy is trying a little TOO hard: killing off a bloater early in the season to endear himself to the DotW staff (but not such a good bloater that he won DotW), then goes and sacrifices his best player (and legend) I.M. Fort in week 4. Hey buddy! We see what you’re up to! Good luck keeping this streak up!
Maimed of the Week
"Swag" Dewey Selmon [OOK]: Chic’A’Ghost blitzer (-ST); Mighty Blow, Dodge, Block, +MA
Licker Fitzgerald: Deadlanta zombie (-AG); Wrestle, Tackle
Andy Mazurczak [POLI]: Keen Play rotter (-AV); Dirty Player
Rosy II [IVCC]: Denver linerat (-AV); Block, Mighty Blow, Guard
''Butler'' Albert Sims: Chic’A’Ghost thrall (-AV); Wrestle
Azeye Kil: Illadelph beastman (-AV); Dirty Player, Sneaky Git
Tylan Grable: Buffalo lineman (-AV); no skills
Dalton Kincaid: Buffalo lineman (-AV); no skills
Josh Jones: Baltimore lineman (-AV); Dirty Player
vaguely familiar III: Vampa Bay thrall (-PA); no skills
Gutz McGee: Illadelph chosen blocker (-PA); no skills
Total NI this week: 20
Total MNG this week: 16
Total stat busts this week: 11
Total deaths this week: 9
Total SI/RIP: 56 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Oct 18, 2024 - 10:55 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 5
We’ve made it to that point in the season where there aren’t so many draftees on the pitch that they can just be gathered up like a bouquet of daisies, and apparently we’re getting low on bloaters to kill or something (however, I can think of at LEAST three other bloaters that I could happily live without, so please keep up the strong work on that front everyone! Taking a week off is fine as long as you pick it back up next week). Overall, though, numbers appear to be dropping *slaps table with pointer* and that means we need to work overtime! Coffee’s for closers!
Dead of the Week
Tristan Dirtylightning: Vampa Bay thrall; no skills
Clyde Edwards Helaire: Denver gutter runner; Block, +AG, Sure Hands, Side Step, Leap
G Dulchic: Denver lineman; no skills
Max Anders [MU]: Buffalo lineman; Mighty Blow, Guard, Block
DeMarvion Overshown: Dallas dwarf blocker; Guard, Stand Firm
Half Fingers [NCUC]: Szeattle lineman; Guard, Block
Mormaca Peter: Pittsburgh lineman; Block, Kick
Death of the Week: This week we tip our hats to Denver for coming through with two dead, and that extra effort secured them Death of the Week for Clyde, their +AG gutter runner. A devil of a retriever and quick as a snake, Clyde was Denver’s top scorer at the time of his demise with 15 TDs in his short tenure. Alas, he now resides where all gutter runners eventually end up: at the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Maimed of the Week
Firithi Pronos: Szeattle runner (-ST); Pass, Leader, +MA, Accurate
Brian Driscoll [CAL]: Orcston big ‘un (-AG); Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Diving Tackle
Zracht Croyer [PITT]: Pittsburgh catcher (-AV); +MA, Block, Dodge, Tackle, Side Step, Sprint
Lenny Lyles: Indianapolis dwarf blocker (-AV); Guard, Mighty Blow
Ezra "Rocks" Cleveland: Denver lineman (-AV); no skills
Martin Darkhammer: Kansas City lineman (-PA); no skills
Danny Quan [O]: THC catcher (-PA); +AG, +MA, Wrestle, Guard, Side Step
J Skip [NORM]: D-Town catcher (-PA); +MA, Block, Dodge, Tackle
Travis Brown [UNM]: New Kroak blitzer (-PA); Block, Tackle, Stand Firm, Guard, Dodge
Total NI this week: 8
Total MNG this week: 15
Total stat busts this week: 9
Total deaths this week: 7
Total SI/RIP: 39 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Oct 27, 2024 - 04:54 |
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NBFL Season XXXIII Week 6
Well…. huh. About as uneventful a week as you can get. And when we’re unsure of what to do we have a very clear ruling: give an award to a vampire!
Dead of the Week
unfamiliar VII: Vampa Bay thrall; Wrestle, Kick
overly familiar IV: Vampa Bay thrall; Tackle, Dirty Player
Raymond James: Vampa Bay runner; no skills
Pepper Sow: Deadlanta zombie; no skills
Darrell Green V: Witchington lineman; Block
Death of the Week: Um… I guess a rookie vampire runner is the death of the week? I dunno man, at least Vampa Bay contributed 3 deaths this week, so it’s them by default. So yeah… Raymond James. First rookie Death of the Week we’ve ever awarded!
Maimed of the Week
Lawrence Cager: New York linefrog (-ST); Wrestle
Valaromr Ysane: Szeattle lineman (-ST); Shadowing, Wrestle
Kiyaunta Goodwin [CAN]: New Zig chorf blocker (-ST); Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro
Santana Moss VI: Witchington lineman (-ST); Block
Jalen Wydermyer [A&M]: Witchington blitzer (-AG); Dodge, +ST, Side Step, Tackle, Mighty Blow
Josh Bolt: Indianapolis dwarf blocker (-AG); no skills
''Houndsman'' Bruno Jet: Chic’A’Ghost thrall; Wrestle
Riel Rezeever [MB]: Baltimore Bloodseeker (-MA); Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Claws, Defensive
Total NI this week: 10
Total MNG this week: 21
Total stat busts this week: 8
Total deaths this week: 5
Total SI/RIP: 44 |
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