Wizgrot looked at his team. They looked resplendent in their new kit, well as good as goblins could look anyway. Unfortunately he had forgotten that Grik couldnt talk so when asked what names to put on the shirts he merely pointed at things before singing his favourite songs. The result was chaotic one goblin having to be forcefully tied into his shirt after finding that he had been named "bikini".
"Rite ladz diz iz our firzt game and we iz playing dem woody elves"
"Dem tall skinny wuns wot hump treez?" cut in A.
"Yes dem wuns." The whole team started sniggering at the thought of their opponents. "I know we dun lotz in trainin but nowz da time ta shine boyz, wez got a little help from some old friends of mine who'll meet you o the pitch. Juz go out der and scor mor dan da uvva team and rememba youz iz da beztezt teem!!!"
The locker room echoed with the shrill voices of the goblins as they streamed out.

There was a commotion at one end of the stanf and the crowd went wild, a blurry silver and black shape erupted from the tunnel and flew across the pitch into the elven scrimmage line. "Go getem fungus!!!" screamed Wizgrot as the ratchet punted the ball high into the air not caring to wait for the whistle. There was a desperate scrabble on the halfway line as the goblins quickly realised that they couldn't beat the elves one on one and they started trying to get out of the way and gang up. The elves calmly collected the ball and immediately three runners made a break into the open space in the goblins backfield. "Get bakkk!" screamed Wizgrot as his players looked on in amusement as fungus knocked himself out after a spectacular backflip. Wizgrot screamed in frustration as an elf calmly trotted into the endzone awaiting the inevitable pass. The elves quarterback jogged up to the halfway line and comfortably lined up what would be a touchdown pass, his arm cocked back and just as he was about to release the ball it shot out of his fingers and landed in the mud beside him. "Mork iz wiv uz!!!" shouted Wizgrot as he danced on the spot his filthy cape fluttering in the breeze. He heard a high pitched snigger and glanced down to his right, grik looked up at him smiling a big yellow toothy grin, a crude slingshot in his hand "Grik make it go boof!" shouted the enthusiastic snotling as Wizgrot patted him on the head. As if this act had snapped them out of a daze the Wazzas sprang into action, weeny biting the elven quarterbacks kneew while A vaulted over him into the elfs stomach knocking him backwards. Seizing the opportunity crank snuck in and grabbed the ball and made a mad dash for the touchline. "Go youz git! Fasta!" Crank sprinted for all he was worth hearing a crash behind him as the quarterback was bundled into the crowd by a trio of laughing Wazzas who high fived at their sneaky plan. The crowd screamed in joy as crank crossed into the endzone.

The game restarted with Weeny making obscene gestures to a young elf maiden in the crowd. Her boyfriend a young mage from Saphery sent a small bolt of lightning into weeny from the stands knocking him out, this prompted the goblin crowd the start launching doomdivers at the elf stands to teach the cocky elf that two can play at that game. Once more Ratchet booted the ball down field to the waiting elf quarterback who was thankful he had been pushed into his own crowd and not the goblin crowd as he had suffered only a few scrapes getting back out. The elf collected the ball expertly before looking up for a pass. Teeny and A were already running for him taunting him that he would end up back in the crowd. The taunts had an effect as he completely fumbled the ball as his team mate came to block for him. The goblins cackled in glee and A nipped though his legs to collect the ball the quarterback nimbly nipped between A and the endzone pushing him back into teeny. A bounced off teeny and scampered past the elf's outstretched arms before diving over into the endzone. Wizgrot was dumbstruck, he had hoped the ladz would be up for the game but this was amazing.

Half time couldn't come soon enough for the elves and Wizgrot sniggered as he heard the elf coach screaming at his players as he passed their dressing room. He turned into the Wazzas locker room and was shocked by what he saw (well not really shocked they were goblins). The Wazzas had opened the fungus beer and were chanting at the top of their lungs in their squeaky voices " We iz da champinons me freennds wezzz beat da treehumpys to de enddd"
"Youzz lot get sum cloves on!!!"Screamed Wizgrot.
"WEZE GOT A 2ND HALF TO PLAY"
"Um a wat bozz?" inquired A.
"Der is mor to go fungus brain!"
The Wazzas looked at each other "oh" they said in unison. "Itz ok ladz *hic* wez gonna hump em likez dey hump der treez *hic*" murmured Clank, the stench of fungus beer coming from him overpowering to Wizgrot even though he was on the other side of the room.

As the wazzas made their way out for the 1nd half Wizgrot knew he was doomed. With the team half drunk standing up was as hard as anything the boyz had ever done before. He watched in despair as the elves ran in three touch downs in quick succession even Grik couldnt hit anything with his slingshot. The final whistle blew and Wizgrot shook his head in disbelief, there was no question as to what went wrong. In future there would be no beer in the chaning rooms...