EDIT: Wow, I didn't actually think anyone on Fumbbl would read and comment on this.
Last night I was working on a name for an app, got high and startet thinking about Blood Bowl.
Then I wrote it down and needed a blog to share in a couple of tabletop groups.
And I don't really hate you for naming your team something stupid. I just hate the name. And if you come to my house to field "Teletubbies Season 4" you get the bad chair.

I haven't really been on Fumbbl for around seven years.
My teams on Fumbbl are all from then. I have had plenty of bad names on Fumbbl (and IRL). I know the challenges you face.

Since my days on Fumbbl I've worked as a writer and translator (where you get to think a lot about puns and how to rewrite them) and thought I would share what I've learned about naming stuff.




Football is a game of inches. Blood Bowl is a game of puns. And double meanings. And superfluous nonsense wrapped in silly fluff and lowbrow meta jokes, like a very long sentence referring to itself.

It might just be my favorite part of the game.

It’s also the reason I profoundly enjoy when coaches I play against name their teams with a good pun or reference without breaking the meta of a Warhammer-ish world.

Now, if you’re one of those coaches on Fumbbl who name their team “Robocop 2” and all the players after the actors, that’s okay. I hate you so very much, but it’s cool. We have different views on naming as a concept. I think jokes are funny, you think film titles and IMDB lists are funny.

But maybe you're like me. I thoroughly enjoy the cheesy exercise of finding just the right pun and proudly presenting it in my league.
Or maybe you just think your carefully painted orcs deserve a better name than “Da Orcz”?

If so, I thought might share a few tips I have picked up along the way.

1: Real life is clever
The most classic tool in naming BB teams is of course the real world reference. And with good reason.
Orcland Raiders. Elfheim Eagles. Dwarf Giants. These are the greats to which we all aspire. They tickle at the 4th wall but leave it intact, they give us a sideways wink without breaking character. That’s why they’re clever.
Maybe you prefer furious metal over American football? No problem. Why not take the Middenheim Motörheads to the championship? There are many ways to tell the same joke.


2: But stay in-world

In the mid 90s I encountered a name that I both loved and hated in a White Dwarf. The winner of the in-house GW league, “The Washington Deadskins”.
I was a snooty teen but then, like now I adored witty wordplay. OMG, I thought that “Deadskins” was a clever name!
But Washington? Not clever at all. That’s not finesse. That’s not winking sideways. It’s waving at the camera, screaming “hi mom” and flipping over the set-pieces.
Washington is too real. It doesn't make a joke on the real world, it is the real world. Blood Bowl is escapism and fun, not home to the White House. And it's lazy.
But worst of all, it's telling the same joke twice. "Deadskins" stands alone beautifully. You only have a couple of words to tell a joke and a story. Make them count.


3: Steal

Or at least take inspiration from other coaches, sports teams, brands and artists.
But mostly just steal. I’ve had quite a few “Deadskins” teams since the 90s. No one has ever called me out on it.


4: Don’t (f)orc(e) it

You see what I did there? It’s not clever. Too many moving parts and too hard to read. The “c” doesn’t even sound the same.
Sometimes it’s just not there. It won’t happen, get another idea.
Keep it simple. And never ever force a rhyme that’s not there. My own horrible attempt at improvement with “Concusionton Deadskins” will suffice as proof.


5: Inhabit the world

If you can’t seem to find a cool sounding town name in the lore, make up your own. I’m pretty sure “Orcland” and “Elfheim” aren’t mentioned in any other alternate Warhammer universe.
I eventually settled my stolen name on “Totendorf Deadskins”. The Empire got German sounding names, and German is a rather brutal sounding language that fits the undead. Translated to English it means “Dead Village Deadskins”. It’s believable in-world, even if it’s not from it.
Make up stuff. But make sure it sounds either right or cool. Preferably both.


6: In-world: Off-planet or On-brand

In the fluff, BB teams became traveling groups of athletic mercenaries after the NAF folded.
Naming no longer requires geography since teams no longer belong to cities.
My Packers-themed skaven team were the “Green Cheese Snackers”. Rats like cheese, and Wisconsin is the Cheese State. Same amount of words as their NFL counterpart, one identical, one new, one rhyme. “The moon is made of green cheese” is a real world saying and the skaven blew up the moon in another GW product. In-world believable, full of outside references.

For my Vikings coloured Nurgle team, I was toying around with “Mildew Soda Vile Things” or “Bile Soda Vile Things” - because of course some corrupt soft drink company bought a team and named it after themselves. I never quite cracked it. “Vile Things” may seem a little forced, but I like that it looks like an in-game pun on “Wild Things” while only discreetly checking the 4th wall of the Vikings.


7: Move On
If you suspect that “Mildew Soda Vile Things” will be a long and annoying name that will grow old quick, don’t dwell. I already hate it. Maybe just “Vile Things”? No!
Leave Minnesota and try something warmer. How about Texas? Houston Texans can become “Ooze Town Toxins”. It’s snappier.
Move around a bit. You don’t need to settle down with a name just because you painted your minis like an NFL franchise.


8: Different race, different logic

You may have a mancrush on Tom Brady and all things elves, but New Elfland Elftriots is a shit name. Pick something different.
“New Elfland” is actually pretty good but “Elftriots” is ham-fisted rubbish in it’s complete lack of meaning. “Double meanings” do in fact require two or more meanings. “Elftriots” got zero. And even neologisms need a point.

“New Orcland Orctriots” may however be so stupid that it’s funny because orcs are stupidly funny. As with everything, context is King.


9: Don’t stay in-world / The No Rules rule

There's always a “there are no rules” truism. This isn’t it but it’s close.
If the joke ONLY works with real world places, you may have to break the 4th wall entirely and use it. “Baltimore Skavens” spring to mind. Or maybe you're in a league with a very specific real world theme where other rules obviously apply (I still like my old NCAA-themed "Notre Dame Fighting Orcish").
But try to avoid them. In a tournament with truly great team names, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb.


10: You should have paid attention in English class

All the usual tips and tricks for writing apply. Alliteration, assonance, rhyme, rhythm and rhetorical structure are the tools always used whenever copywriters or marketing creatives sit down to name a product or a brand.
They are always used because they always work. If not one, then the other. Use them to name your imaginary band of misfits and Aristotle would be proud.



Holy crap, that was long, huh?
If you’ve read this far, I commend you.
You must really like naming.
Here’s a really comprehensive guide to naming all kinds of things: Onym.co.
You big nerd <3