"Show screen fades in to a big hulking ulfen and a flamboyant human"
Ron Jackhammer: Welcome all to a brand new season of the footy show. Im Ron Jackhammer, ex ulfen for the norscan raiders.
Jolly Pansy: And im the Jolly Pansy, who is only here cause i like big boys. We have been signed up by our boss, Pdarbs, to host and commentate on 3 teams this season. 5 shows a fortnight people. Thats alot of strapping lades, ahem, i mean Bloodbowl to see.
Ron: Right you are Jolly and first game we get to watch is Rising Tsunami.They hail from........ Jolly have u read this? This can't be right.
Jolly: Yes i have and have already questioned our boss. They come from the bottom of the ocean. No idea how they breath on land but then again i have no idea why men are attractive to breasts. Stadium seems to be filling up. Lets head down to our ground level reporter,Phil mein. Whats it like down there?
"Camera changes to a small skink who is looking around sheepishly. And for some reason there is cars in the background."
Phil mein:Ummm im not exactly inside the stadium Jolly
Jolly: Why not? Get in there and do your job!
Phil mein: They won't let me in, I kinda lost my ticket. And they don't believe i work for the show.
Camera changes back to the show
Ron: Pathetic. Fire him and get us a real man. Well looks like players are entering the pitch. Lets have a look at the opposing team. The Still Waters Run Deep are from the ocean actually aswell. I have heard this game is over fishing rights in the local waters.
Jolly: That means this could get bloody. Players have lined up for the opening kick OMG!!!!! Kaerio for Rising Tsunami has just droped. Looks like he was just hit by a...... beer can?
Ron: It looks like it but the team apoth is down there patching him up now. Just been told stadium security are now looking around for the culprit. Gonna certainly hurt Rising Tsunami this half though
Jolly: Ball has been kicked and the game is underway Rising Tsunami have secured the ball but having trouble defending it now. That rain can not be helping
Ron: No it aint but also Still Waters Run Deep have a excellent defense so far. They somehow managed to steal the ball and almost make a defensive TD but sandy welp manages to save the day with a disperate tackle. Half time and score is 0-0
Jolly: Some very sloppy play by Rising Tsunami but with Kaerio back now the team should be able to start getting some momentum going. I have just recieved a photo of the guy who threw the beer can. If any of you guys know this man please notify police immeidatly
"Camera shows a shot of the man. Looks like a looney."

Ron: Looks like a idiot. Hope they catch him. Any thoughts on the 2nd half Jolly?
Jolly: Well Rising Tsunami are back to a strong team now but so are Still Waters Run Deep so i reckon it be a close one. Looks like they are about to kick off. Still Waters Run Deep are playing a more elfish style it seems by running back and forth with the ball.
Ron: That wont last long. Every elf team knows that when the pain starts happening plays like that don't last much longer. But looks like more Rising Tsunami players are leaving the pitch. This aint gonna go well Jolly
Jolly: No it aint but they still got enough punch to even the numbers. Noooo! Kaerio is bak out again. Looks like Ragnis managed to poke him in one of his eyes. That will keep him out for a week.
Ron: Youngans these days, can't handle anything. But that will leave it wide open for Still Waters Run Deep to score a easy TD now though. Yep the ball carrier is getting screen off fully and just gonna wait till the end of the half to score. And he has. 0-1 full time to Still Waters Run Deep
Jolly: What a fantastic game to watch. That looks like us for tonight folks. Im off to the winners changeing room to congrtulate them all.
Ron: "SIGH" Night all
"Camera fades out"

Match Report: https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=4061414