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THE CFFL TROPHY CASE
The Grey Cup
The Grey Cup is awarded to the team that wins the
championship and is the ultimate prize in the CFFL.
Season 1 - Toronto Orconaughts
MVP - Gari Baldi (Guard)
Season 2 - BC Felions
MVP - Haylie (Guard)
Season 3 - Calgary Vanquishers
MVP - Kate Lam (Piling On)
Season 4 - Yellowknife Perpetrators
MVP - Gary "Garrote" Brown (Dirty Player)
The Wooden Maple Syrup Ladle
The Ladle, though the tastiest award, is also the most dubious.
It is handed out to the team who finishes last in the league.
Season 1 - Sasquishywan Gophers
MVP - Lyndsay (Jump Up)
Season 2 - Waterloo Bulls
MVP - Ned Kelly (Grab)
Season 3 - BC Felions
MVP - Carolynne (Leap)
Season 4 - Brandon Cheat Kings
MVP - John Duhhhh (Dump-Off)
CFFL MERIT BADGES
Canada's Walk of Fame
The stars live here. Press events, rabid fans & relentless paparazzi. When do they find time to play?
S1 - Calgary Slayers
343 SPPs, 20.18/game
S2 - Mo`real Als
285 SPPs, 16.67/game
S3 - Quebec Black Carnival
308 SPPs, 18.12/game
S4 - BC Felions
328 SPPs, 19.30/game
S5 - Calgary Vanquishers
350 SPPs, 20.59/game
.
CSIS Intercept
The squad best equipped at stealing the other teams plays and intercepting the package.
S1 - Rottawa Rough Risers
3 interceptions
S2 - Mo`real Als
1 interception
S3 - Winnipeg Claw Bombers
2 interceptions
S4 - BC/Rottawa/North York
1 interception
S5 - BC/Hope
1 interception
.
The Ferret
This team found all the holes,
made the right moves, and scored again and again!
S1 - Calgary Slayers
42 TDs, 2.47/game
S2 - Mo`real Als
31 TDs, 1.82/game
S3 - Calgary Vanquishers
36 TDs, 2.12/game
S4 - Calgary Vanquishers
33 TDs, 1.94/game
S5 - Calgary Vanquishers
50 TDs, 2.94/game
.
The George "Dubya"
An inability to finish the job should never stand in the way of a good game of football.
S1 - Sasquishywan Gophers
5 TDs, 0.36/game
S2 - Sasquishywan Gophers
13 TDs, 0.76/game
S3 - Sasquishywan Gophers
15 TDs, 0.88/game
S4 - Toronto WAARGHonauts
16 TDs, 0.94/game
S5 - Winnipeg/Hamilton
13 TDs, 0.76/game
Royal Canadian Air Force
Awarded to the team with the best high-flying aerial assault over the season.
S1 - Mo'real Als
42 completions, 2.47/game
S2 - Mo'real Als
59 completions, 3.47/game
S3 - Quebec Black Carnival
56 completions, 3.29/game
S4 - Calgary & BC
28 completions, 1.65/game
S5 - Calgary Vanquishers
37 completions, 2.18/game
.
The Cialis
This squad just can't get the ball up. Try as they might, their passing attack is flacid at best.
S1 - Toronto Orconaughts
3 completions, 0.18/game
S2 - Waterloo Bulls
3 completions, 0.18/game
S3 - Brandon Cheat Kings
0 completions, 0.00/game
S4 - BRD/DMP/HAM
3 completions, 0.18/game
S5 - Rottawa Rough Risers
1 completion, 0.06/game
.
The Pinball Clemons
This team loves to run, and run and run. No reason why really, just because.
S1 - Calgary Slayers
565 yards rushed, 33.24/game
S2 - Toronto Orconaughts
566 yards rushed, 33.29/game
S3 - Winnipeg Claw Bombers
520 yards rushed, 30.59/game
S4 - Calgary Vanquishers
621 yards rushed, 36.53/game
S5 - Calgary Vanquishers
641 yards rushed, 37.71/game
.
Tortoise and the Hare
Sometimes slow and steady wins the race, sometimes you just end up with another merit badge.
S1 - Sasquishywan Gophers
257 yards rushed, 18.36/game
S2 - Waterloo Bulls
361 yards rushed, 21.24/game
S3 - Sasquishywan Gophers
398 yards rushed, 23.41/game
S4 - Brandon Cheat Kings
342 yards rushed, 20.12/game
S5 - Hamilton Tomb Cats
308 yards rushed, 18.12/game
Pink Floyd "The Wall"
All in all, it's just another Block in the wall! If you see them coming, you had better run like hell.
S1 - Toronto Orconaughts
891 blocks, 52.40/game
S2 - Winnipeg Clawbombers
821 blocks, 48.29/game
S3 - Winnipeg Claw Bombers
875 blocks, 51.47/game
S4 - Toronto WAARGHonauts
850 blocks, 50.00/game
S5 - Toronto WAARGHonauts
894 blocks, 52.59/game
.
Scouts Canada
Always prepared, except for violence, rough-housing and shenanigans.
We salute you anyway.
S1 - Halifax Hrungnirs FC II
163 blocks, 14.82/game
S2 - Halifax Hrungnirs FC II
428 blocks, 25.18/game
S3 - Brandon Cheat Kings
450 blocks, 26.47/game
S4 - Brandon Cheat Kings
401 blocks, 23.59/game
S5 - Yellowknife Perpetrators
466 blocks, 27.41/game
.
Royal Canadian Army
When you want the job done right, and can't find anyone better, you send in these guys.
S1 - Hamilton Tiger Pact
50 casualties, 2.94/game
S2 - Hamilton Tiger Pact
61 casualties, 3.59/game
S3 - Rottawa Rough Risers
62 casualties, 3.65/game
S4 - BC Felions
63 casualties, 3.71/game
S5 - Rottawa Rough Risers
75 casualties, 4.41/game
.
Girl Guides Canada
If the sport was about being nice, it would be called Brownie Bowl. Here's a cookie anyway.
S1 - Halifax Hrungnirs FC II
4 earned casualties, 0.36/game
S2 - Calgary Vanquishers
17 earned casualties, 1.00/game
S3 - Calgary Vanquishers
20 earned casualties, 1.18/game
S4 - Brandon Cheat Kings
14 earned casualties, 0.82/game
S5 - Winnipeg Clawbombers
10 earned casualties, 0.59/game
The Sean Avery
When you can't play ball, fake it, and make up for lack of talent by being a vicious prick.
S1 - Rottawa Rough Risers
59 fouls, 3.47/game
S2 - Rottawa Rough Risers
84 fouls, 4.94/game
S3 - Calgary Vanquishers
69 fouls, 4.06/game
S4 - Rottawa Rough Risers
85 fouls, 5.00/game
S5 - Rottawa Rough Risers
75 fouls, 4.41/game
.
The John Candy
In honour of the team of all round good sports, the tree-hugging hippies of the league.
S1 - Dumpsville Inuit
1 foul, 0.14/game
S2 - Hamilton Tiger Pact
9 fouls, 0.53/game
S3 - Toratno Rapscallions
15 fouls, 0.88/game
S4 - Dumpsville Goal Miners
14 fouls, 0.82/game
S5 - Winnipeg Clawbombers
10 fouls, 0.59/game
.
The Scrooge McDuck
When you've got this much money you're definitely not voting for a salary cap.
S1 - Calgary Slayers
1,190,000gc - 70,000/game
S2 - Rottawa Rough Risers
1,000,000gc - 58,824/game
S3 - Rottawa & Calgary V's
910,000gc - 53,529/game
S4 - Winnipeg Claw Bombers
930,000gc - 54,706/game
.
Penniless
Waiting in the welfare line between games isn't much fun. Neither is playing with those loners.
S1 - Sasquishywan Gophers
710,000gc - 41,765/game
S2 - Calgary Vanquishers
600,000gc - 35,294/game
S3 - Brandon Cheat Kings
710,000gc - 41,765/game
S4 - Brandon Cheat Kings
680,000gc - 40,000/game