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Khemri Premier League
And so it was decreed by Tomb King Settra the Imperishable, the 10 great Necropolis' would all field teams in a grand championship. Epic battles on the grid iron for glory, fame and immortality!
Season #9 will kick off in August. The entire league is going through a BB2020 conversion right now. Since the league is custom rosters it is taking some time, almost done. Once the rosters are set and we start making new teams we will have a KPL coaches meeting and decide on what we will do with the league rules and make any changes to make it BB2020's
The Khemri Premier League (KPL) offers two conferences for you to play in. One is Europe and the other is North American. The dual conference system is set up so that all KPL members can arrange matches at their normal night time gaming hours. NO cross pond scheduling of matches, which is what makes league play not very fun for most. When you enter the KPL the choice of conference is completely up to you. The only time you will have to arrange a cross pond match would be if you reached the coveted Premier Championship match.
The rosters are SL Khemri rosters with some variants thrown in. Every roster has a S. Weapon option which uses the Stunty League rule that weapons are not auto send off.
KPL Team List
For any coaches interested they can look at the rosters and decide.
KPL uses a faction system which effects the priest and acolytes by giving them skill access that they cannot take normally. The faction system is also used for the fluff of the league and so forth.
the 3 factions in Khemri are:
Settra: The loyalist to the King and they fight for his honor and glory of Khemri. This faction is based on strength and brutality. The gain S access on their special players.
The Prophet: A vagabond bedouin who has been possessed by Chaos. He wanders the land spreading dissent and lies about Settra and one day he hopes a large host of Chaos Warriors will arrive in the land of the dead to kill Settra and put him on the throne as king. This faction gains mutation access.
Nagash: Mortal enemy of Settra and wants to come back to his homeland and declare himself the rightful king, since, well, he was the one who made everybody undead to begin with a couple thousand years ago. This faction gains A access and a lot of guile.
The bottom line on the rosters is this: Each of the 8 races and 24 rosters has one unique player, the Priest and 2 Acolytes, base lineman with additional access beyond G. Each roster also has one or more S.Weapons.
The KPL uses a scheduled Round Robin format for the regular season of play. This system is nice because it allows coaches to play ahead of the schedule and make it easier to arrange matches. Each round will have a hard 10 day deadline. I have found that if all the coaches are invested in the league and excited to play this is never an issue and that games get moving on a week by week basis.
The #1 goal of KPL is to have fun. KPL loves their fluff and we celebrate that in the KPL. But then again that does not mean the competition is not fierce on the pitch. KPL has some of the top coaches on FUMBBL as members so you will be challenged to win this league.
So, do you want it all? Fluff, fun and good competition?
Then you need to check out the KPL and get in on the action.
KPL Forum Thread
This is were all the fluff can be found. Settra encourages all KPL members to chime in on the forum. Have some fun with it.
And so it was decreed by Tomb King Settra the Imperishable, the 10 great Necropolis' would all field teams in a grand championship. Epic battles on the grid iron for glory, fame and immortality!
Season #9 will kick off in August. The entire league is going through a BB2020 conversion right now. Since the league is custom rosters it is taking some time, almost done. Once the rosters are set and we start making new teams we will have a KPL coaches meeting and decide on what we will do with the league rules and make any changes to make it BB2020's
The Khemri Premier League (KPL) offers two conferences for you to play in. One is Europe and the other is North American. The dual conference system is set up so that all KPL members can arrange matches at their normal night time gaming hours. NO cross pond scheduling of matches, which is what makes league play not very fun for most. When you enter the KPL the choice of conference is completely up to you. The only time you will have to arrange a cross pond match would be if you reached the coveted Premier Championship match.
The rosters are SL Khemri rosters with some variants thrown in. Every roster has a S. Weapon option which uses the Stunty League rule that weapons are not auto send off.
KPL Team List
For any coaches interested they can look at the rosters and decide.
KPL uses a faction system which effects the priest and acolytes by giving them skill access that they cannot take normally. The faction system is also used for the fluff of the league and so forth.
the 3 factions in Khemri are:
Settra: The loyalist to the King and they fight for his honor and glory of Khemri. This faction is based on strength and brutality. The gain S access on their special players.
The Prophet: A vagabond bedouin who has been possessed by Chaos. He wanders the land spreading dissent and lies about Settra and one day he hopes a large host of Chaos Warriors will arrive in the land of the dead to kill Settra and put him on the throne as king. This faction gains mutation access.
Nagash: Mortal enemy of Settra and wants to come back to his homeland and declare himself the rightful king, since, well, he was the one who made everybody undead to begin with a couple thousand years ago. This faction gains A access and a lot of guile.
The bottom line on the rosters is this: Each of the 8 races and 24 rosters has one unique player, the Priest and 2 Acolytes, base lineman with additional access beyond G. Each roster also has one or more S.Weapons.
The KPL uses a scheduled Round Robin format for the regular season of play. This system is nice because it allows coaches to play ahead of the schedule and make it easier to arrange matches. Each round will have a hard 10 day deadline. I have found that if all the coaches are invested in the league and excited to play this is never an issue and that games get moving on a week by week basis.
The #1 goal of KPL is to have fun. KPL loves their fluff and we celebrate that in the KPL. But then again that does not mean the competition is not fierce on the pitch. KPL has some of the top coaches on FUMBBL as members so you will be challenged to win this league.
So, do you want it all? Fluff, fun and good competition?
Then you need to check out the KPL and get in on the action.
KPL Forum Thread
This is were all the fluff can be found. Settra encourages all KPL members to chime in on the forum. Have some fun with it.
Rules
1. Games in the KPL will use overtime. Nothing bothers an undead spectator more than a tie. He is undead, he needs resolution in his Blood Bowl. A tie just means he must suffer in his undeath with nothing to look forward to, such as a win. He wants his team to win, not some stupid tie.
2. Spiked Balls will be enabled for all KPL matches. The fans love the spiked balls and it gives them much pleasure.
3. Khemri is know for one thing above all, THE DIRTY BOOT! And so the KPL will celebrate this by adding +1 on AV checks for fouls in all KPL matches.
4. Nothing rattles the bones and mummy wrappings like a good Pile On. The Pile On KO option will be enabled.
5. Expensive mistakes is enabled for the league. Due to large sponsorship of the league by many outside advertisers each team is allowed to horde up to 200K before it kicks in and has 100K tiers.
6.Now that the Necarchs have been awoken there are some in their ranks who are just down right bored and Blood Bowl just gets those old juices flowing again. All teams can induce wizards.
7. Some teams are low down and and are always looking for that edge. Dirty Trick and Magic Item cards can be induced
8. The coveted Elixir of Immortality is given out to the Championship team.
The player with the highest SPP on the Championship team will be given the Elixir and he must be retired at the end of the match. When he drinks the elixir he becomes immortal and transcend from his undead form into a higher state of undead, and become a Star Player
9. KPL also has a global event that effects all the matches in the KPL every season.
-> Season I - Bloodweiser sponsored the KPL and gave every team 50K in inducement money for each match.
-> Season II - The vile and evil Nagash, Lord of Undeath, intervenes and curses all the relics of NUFFLE. Unleashes specters on the great necroplis of Khemri and leaves a trail of death. Due to this event the KPL global event of 100K to purchase Magic Items was scrapped for season #2. KPL will play season #2 with straight up inducment rules.
-> Season III - Season #2 was such a success that three companies are now throwing gobs of money at the KPL to give them more exposure. Church 'N Chick'N is the title sponsor for season #3. DeWalt and STIHL have shown up to show off their new line of Chainsaws due to the increase in Chainsaws in the KPL. All teams will get 70K in inducement money to play with for each match
-> Season IVSponsors starting flooding the KPL with money and 100K was given to each team to buy Magic Items and Dirty Tricks
-> Season VWell the money dries up and the KPL plays out the season by playing old fashion Blood Bowl, no extra stuff to play with.
-> Season VIThe relics in the KPL "come alive" changing their wielders in mysterious ways. Relic holders now have to roll on the relic chart.
-> Season VIIThe reboot of the league has Ditch Witch as the title sponsor for the season. They see a lot of sales of back hoes and ditch witch products to un bury all the land of the dead after that 4 year sand storm. Because of this the Expensive Mistakes for the season will start at 250k instead of the normal 200K.
-> Season VIIIGoblin Invasion! Anuphaton, one of Settra's High Wizards, tried to decipher the secrets of the Black Pyramid. Instead, a plague of Dust Goblins have been unleashed on the land. All teams may recruit 1 dust goblin to their roster. Dust Goblin teams instead gain swarming. There will be a special Goblinslayer prize for most goblin kills, which will confer a title and bonus MVP. The Dust Goblin teams will get a special post-season to decide possession of the great gobbo stick.
Season Format
Season #8
Regular Season
The KPL has teams in two conferences, Europe (BSC) and North America (GMC). The European Conference has more players, and is split in two divisions.
Both conferences will battle it out against each other during the regular season. Each division will engage in a round robin.
2 Points will be awarded per win, 0 pts per loss. There are no ties in the KPL, only lovers of Euro pansie football or promotion/demotion systems like ties. Ties in scoring are resolved by head-to-head record, then head-to-head record, then an extra game if only 2 teams are still tied, or a die roll otherwise.
At the end of this, each BSC team will play a game against the team of the same standing of the opposite division. So #1 in the Coastal Division plays #1 in the Mountain Division. The winner of the game between the winner of each division wins the conference.
Post Season
The winner of each division will get a bye into the semi-finals. The runner-up of the GMC and the winner of the game between the runner up of each division will play for a final berth in the semi-finals. The runner-up of the BSC will play the winner of the GMC in the semi-finals.
Divisional winners will have all MNGs removed in their games.
1. Games in the KPL will use overtime. Nothing bothers an undead spectator more than a tie. He is undead, he needs resolution in his Blood Bowl. A tie just means he must suffer in his undeath with nothing to look forward to, such as a win. He wants his team to win, not some stupid tie.
2. Spiked Balls will be enabled for all KPL matches. The fans love the spiked balls and it gives them much pleasure.
3. Khemri is know for one thing above all, THE DIRTY BOOT! And so the KPL will celebrate this by adding +1 on AV checks for fouls in all KPL matches.
4. Nothing rattles the bones and mummy wrappings like a good Pile On. The Pile On KO option will be enabled.
5. Expensive mistakes is enabled for the league. Due to large sponsorship of the league by many outside advertisers each team is allowed to horde up to 200K before it kicks in and has 100K tiers.
6.Now that the Necarchs have been awoken there are some in their ranks who are just down right bored and Blood Bowl just gets those old juices flowing again. All teams can induce wizards.
7. Some teams are low down and and are always looking for that edge. Dirty Trick and Magic Item cards can be induced
8. The coveted Elixir of Immortality is given out to the Championship team.
The player with the highest SPP on the Championship team will be given the Elixir and he must be retired at the end of the match. When he drinks the elixir he becomes immortal and transcend from his undead form into a higher state of undead, and become a Star Player
9. KPL also has a global event that effects all the matches in the KPL every season.
-> Season I - Bloodweiser sponsored the KPL and gave every team 50K in inducement money for each match.
-> Season II - The vile and evil Nagash, Lord of Undeath, intervenes and curses all the relics of NUFFLE. Unleashes specters on the great necroplis of Khemri and leaves a trail of death. Due to this event the KPL global event of 100K to purchase Magic Items was scrapped for season #2. KPL will play season #2 with straight up inducment rules.
-> Season III - Season #2 was such a success that three companies are now throwing gobs of money at the KPL to give them more exposure. Church 'N Chick'N is the title sponsor for season #3. DeWalt and STIHL have shown up to show off their new line of Chainsaws due to the increase in Chainsaws in the KPL. All teams will get 70K in inducement money to play with for each match
-> Season IVSponsors starting flooding the KPL with money and 100K was given to each team to buy Magic Items and Dirty Tricks
-> Season VWell the money dries up and the KPL plays out the season by playing old fashion Blood Bowl, no extra stuff to play with.
-> Season VIThe relics in the KPL "come alive" changing their wielders in mysterious ways. Relic holders now have to roll on the relic chart.
-> Season VIIThe reboot of the league has Ditch Witch as the title sponsor for the season. They see a lot of sales of back hoes and ditch witch products to un bury all the land of the dead after that 4 year sand storm. Because of this the Expensive Mistakes for the season will start at 250k instead of the normal 200K.
-> Season VIIIGoblin Invasion! Anuphaton, one of Settra's High Wizards, tried to decipher the secrets of the Black Pyramid. Instead, a plague of Dust Goblins have been unleashed on the land. All teams may recruit 1 dust goblin to their roster. Dust Goblin teams instead gain swarming. There will be a special Goblinslayer prize for most goblin kills, which will confer a title and bonus MVP. The Dust Goblin teams will get a special post-season to decide possession of the great gobbo stick.
Season Format
Season #8
Regular Season
The KPL has teams in two conferences, Europe (BSC) and North America (GMC). The European Conference has more players, and is split in two divisions.
Both conferences will battle it out against each other during the regular season. Each division will engage in a round robin.
2 Points will be awarded per win, 0 pts per loss. There are no ties in the KPL, only lovers of Euro pansie football or promotion/demotion systems like ties. Ties in scoring are resolved by head-to-head record, then head-to-head record, then an extra game if only 2 teams are still tied, or a die roll otherwise.
At the end of this, each BSC team will play a game against the team of the same standing of the opposite division. So #1 in the Coastal Division plays #1 in the Mountain Division. The winner of the game between the winner of each division wins the conference.
Post Season
The winner of each division will get a bye into the semi-finals. The runner-up of the GMC and the winner of the game between the runner up of each division will play for a final berth in the semi-finals. The runner-up of the BSC will play the winner of the GMC in the semi-finals.
Divisional winners will have all MNGs removed in their games.
Joining the KPL & Creating a Team
Here are all the rules aspiring Tomb Kings need to know in order to join the KPL. Feel free to respond and ask questions of Tomb King Settra, or Dutys_Fist in his absence.
1.Choose a race from the 9 KPL races.
The rosters are modified SL Khemri rosters. Most rosters include secret weapon, and some extra positionals based on factions.
KPL Team List
2.Choose a faction.
KPL uses a faction system which grants 2 bonus positional (the acolytes) which are linemen with bonus skills and more skill action. It also grants one upgraded positional (the priest). The faction system is also used for the fluff of the league.
the 3 factions in Khemri are:
Settra: The loyalist to the King and they fight for his honor and glory of Khemri. This faction is based on strength and brutality. The gain S access on their priests and acolytes.
The Prophet: A vagabond bedouin who has been possessed by Chaos. He wanders the land spreading dissent and lies about Settra and one day he hopes a large host of Chaos Warriors will arrive in the land of the dead to kill Settra and put him on the throne as king. This faction gains mutation access on their priests and acolytes.
Nagash: Mortal enemy of Settra and wants to come back to his homeland and declare himself the rightful king, since, well, he was the one who made everybody undead to begin with a couple thousand years ago. This faction gains agility access on their priests and acolytes.
The bottom line on the rosters is this: Each of the 8 races and 24 rosters has one unique player, the Priest and 2 Acolytes, base lineman with additional access beyond G. Each roster also has one or more S.Weapons.
3.Choose a name
You team name MUST BEGIN with the name of the Necropolis your team represents.
Oh, You do not know of the 10 great Necropolises of Khemri? Well here they are.
Khemri - capital. Home of Settra the Imperishable.
Zandri - a port city, and the second most powerful city politically.
Numas - resided in by the living, protected by the dead.
Quatar - Guardian-city of the mountains.
Bhagar - a city of former bandits, with much light cavalry.
Rasetra - a city on the edge of the Southlands, that made use of the beasts of the jungle.
Mahrak - the city of priests.
Lybaras - a city of scholars and engineers, responsible for the creation of the first Tomb Scorpions.
Lahmia - cursed city to the far east, where vampirism first took hold.
Ka-Sabar - the city of bronze. This city was crippled in the first war against Nagash.
Now if you are big fan of Khemri and all its fluff you know there are many places in Khemri that are famous. You can choose one of them instead of a Necropolis if your fluff is to constrained to one of the cities. We have 2 teams in the KPL right now named after a famous site and not a necropolis.
4. Join the League
All new teams in the KPL must be new teams with zero (0) games played. You cannot play your KPL team outside the KPL. Each new team starts with 1.4 million gold.
Create Team for KPL <<<<hit this link to make team.
Here are all the rules aspiring Tomb Kings need to know in order to join the KPL. Feel free to respond and ask questions of Tomb King Settra, or Dutys_Fist in his absence.
1.Choose a race from the 9 KPL races.
The rosters are modified SL Khemri rosters. Most rosters include secret weapon, and some extra positionals based on factions.
KPL Team List
2.Choose a faction.
KPL uses a faction system which grants 2 bonus positional (the acolytes) which are linemen with bonus skills and more skill action. It also grants one upgraded positional (the priest). The faction system is also used for the fluff of the league.
the 3 factions in Khemri are:
Settra: The loyalist to the King and they fight for his honor and glory of Khemri. This faction is based on strength and brutality. The gain S access on their priests and acolytes.
The Prophet: A vagabond bedouin who has been possessed by Chaos. He wanders the land spreading dissent and lies about Settra and one day he hopes a large host of Chaos Warriors will arrive in the land of the dead to kill Settra and put him on the throne as king. This faction gains mutation access on their priests and acolytes.
Nagash: Mortal enemy of Settra and wants to come back to his homeland and declare himself the rightful king, since, well, he was the one who made everybody undead to begin with a couple thousand years ago. This faction gains agility access on their priests and acolytes.
The bottom line on the rosters is this: Each of the 8 races and 24 rosters has one unique player, the Priest and 2 Acolytes, base lineman with additional access beyond G. Each roster also has one or more S.Weapons.
3.Choose a name
You team name MUST BEGIN with the name of the Necropolis your team represents.
Oh, You do not know of the 10 great Necropolises of Khemri? Well here they are.
Khemri - capital. Home of Settra the Imperishable.
Zandri - a port city, and the second most powerful city politically.
Numas - resided in by the living, protected by the dead.
Quatar - Guardian-city of the mountains.
Bhagar - a city of former bandits, with much light cavalry.
Rasetra - a city on the edge of the Southlands, that made use of the beasts of the jungle.
Mahrak - the city of priests.
Lybaras - a city of scholars and engineers, responsible for the creation of the first Tomb Scorpions.
Lahmia - cursed city to the far east, where vampirism first took hold.
Ka-Sabar - the city of bronze. This city was crippled in the first war against Nagash.
Now if you are big fan of Khemri and all its fluff you know there are many places in Khemri that are famous. You can choose one of them instead of a Necropolis if your fluff is to constrained to one of the cities. We have 2 teams in the KPL right now named after a famous site and not a necropolis.
4. Join the League
All new teams in the KPL must be new teams with zero (0) games played. You cannot play your KPL team outside the KPL. Each new team starts with 1.4 million gold.
Create Team for KPL <<<<hit this link to make team.
Current Teams
Season 9 Signups
NA
EU[/]
Season 9 Signups
NA
EU[/]
Great Mortis Conference - Americas
Desert Division
Rasetra Bonelords (Prophet Rasetra) - DutysFist
Zandri Dust (Nagash Zandri) - HouseBlackfyre
Ka-Sabar Revengers (Prophet Necrarch) - Wintergreen - S8 Champion, GMC Pennant
Numas Numb Brains (Prophet Necrarch)- ImplicitKitten
Wasniahc Serqets of Agem (Settra Dust Goblin) - Jogrenaut
Quatar Gray Bone Horde (Propeht Ka-Sabar) - GotrekSlayer
Lybaras Settra Serpentz (Settra Lybaras) - knine
Desert Division
Rasetra Bonelords (Prophet Rasetra) - DutysFist
Zandri Dust (Nagash Zandri) - HouseBlackfyre
Ka-Sabar Revengers (Prophet Necrarch) - Wintergreen - S8 Champion, GMC Pennant
Numas Numb Brains (Prophet Necrarch)- ImplicitKitten
Wasniahc Serqets of Agem (Settra Dust Goblin) - Jogrenaut
Quatar Gray Bone Horde (Propeht Ka-Sabar) - GotrekSlayer
Lybaras Settra Serpentz (Settra Lybaras) - knine
Bitter Sea Conference - Europe
Mountain Division
Lybaras Lumberjacks (Prophet Lybaras) - Gnoblar - S7 BSC Pennant
Cracked Land Titans (Prophet Rasetra) - XpherAndTheAxes
Salt Plain Sandstorm (Nagash Dust Goblins) - snorkelwanted - S8 BSC Pennant, Mountain Cup
Dust-G-Pros (Prophet Dust Goblins) - golum87
Bhagar Full Moon (Nagash Necrarch) - puccios
Death to Desecrators (Settra Zandri) - coachclyde
Coastal Division
Mahrak Dazing Blazers (Prophet Lybaras) - loopyloo
Quatar Quarantinees (Settra Lybaras) - DrClaes
Rasetra Renegades (Nagash Rasetra) - MatthueyCamo
Visionaries of Prophet (Prophet Dust Goblins) - KomradDoodle
Lahmia Abstainers (Nagash Necrarch) - Dynamix - S8 Coastal Cup
Neferata’s Daughters (Nagash Lahmian) - Apus
Former TeamsMountain Division
Lybaras Lumberjacks (Prophet Lybaras) - Gnoblar - S7 BSC Pennant
Cracked Land Titans (Prophet Rasetra) - XpherAndTheAxes
Salt Plain Sandstorm (Nagash Dust Goblins) - snorkelwanted - S8 BSC Pennant, Mountain Cup
Dust-G-Pros (Prophet Dust Goblins) - golum87
Bhagar Full Moon (Nagash Necrarch) - puccios
Death to Desecrators (Settra Zandri) - coachclyde
Coastal Division
Mahrak Dazing Blazers (Prophet Lybaras) - loopyloo
Quatar Quarantinees (Settra Lybaras) - DrClaes
Rasetra Renegades (Nagash Rasetra) - MatthueyCamo
Visionaries of Prophet (Prophet Dust Goblins) - KomradDoodle
Lahmia Abstainers (Nagash Necrarch) - Dynamix - S8 Coastal Cup
Neferata’s Daughters (Nagash Lahmian) - Apus
KFC Conference - Americas
Season 7
Bhagar Bone Devils (Prophet Mahrak) - SunDevil
Pharaohs of Duat (Nagash Khemri) - Razmus - S7 Champions, GMC Pennant
Pox News Fair and Bandaged (Prophet Zandri) - Jogrenaught
Waterfall of Sand (Prophet Zandri) - Lorebass
Khemri Rapture Guard (Prophet Khemri) - Nelphine
Bhagar Dune Raiders (Settra Numas) - Painstate
Rasetra Reptile Remnants (Nagash Rasetra) - Adorryable
Season 7
Bhagar Bone Devils (Prophet Mahrak) - SunDevil
Pharaohs of Duat (Nagash Khemri) - Razmus - S7 Champions, GMC Pennant
Pox News Fair and Bandaged (Prophet Zandri) - Jogrenaught
Waterfall of Sand (Prophet Zandri) - Lorebass
Khemri Rapture Guard (Prophet Khemri) - Nelphine
Bhagar Dune Raiders (Settra Numas) - Painstate
Rasetra Reptile Remnants (Nagash Rasetra) - Adorryable
NFC Conference - Europe
Season 7
Lost Ember Prophets (Prophet Rasetra) - Chivite
Quatar Sentinels (Prophet Khemri) - pokrjax
Zandri Ragwraiths (Prophet Zandri) - XpherAndTheAxes
Settra Princes of Mahrak (Settra Mahrak) - Valen
W'soran's Librarians (Nagash Necrarch) - Apus
Zandri and Enough (Nagash Zandri) - Xollman
Mahrak Bone Shakers (Settra Mahrak) - chimp2010
Season 7
Lost Ember Prophets (Prophet Rasetra) - Chivite
Quatar Sentinels (Prophet Khemri) - pokrjax
Zandri Ragwraiths (Prophet Zandri) - XpherAndTheAxes
Settra Princes of Mahrak (Settra Mahrak) - Valen
W'soran's Librarians (Nagash Necrarch) - Apus
Zandri and Enough (Nagash Zandri) - Xollman
Mahrak Bone Shakers (Settra Mahrak) - chimp2010
Awards & Stats
Detailed Season Awards & Statistics - Season I
Detailed Season Awards & Statistics - Season I
KPL Hall of Champions
Elixir of Immortality
The coveted Elixir of Immortality is an honour bestowed upon the top player on the Championship team. However, the player's transcendence to immortality means that they will leave their team.
Victor's Crown
Nice hat!
Golden Boot
Kick 'em!
Spiked Trophy Winners
These players have earned the Spiked Trophy award in the KPL! How do you earn this coveted award?
Easy, get killed by the spiked ball!
Elixir of Immortality
The coveted Elixir of Immortality is an honour bestowed upon the top player on the Championship team. However, the player's transcendence to immortality means that they will leave their team.
| PLAYER | TEAM | |
|---|---|---|
| Season I |  Hutz Wyrmmeater | Ka-Sabar Bedouin |
| Season II |  The Ayatollah of Lawn Mowing | Quatar Heretics |
| Season III |  Merhth al-Forgeth | Ka-Sabar Bedouin |
| Season VII | Mipramhon the Visionary | ¤⍟ Pharaohs of Duat ⍟¤ |
| Season VIII |  Saint Gustav | Ka-Sabar Revengers |
Victor's Crown
Nice hat!
| PLAYER | TEAM | |
|---|---|---|
| Season I |  Jurti al-Alaldinaseehim | Ka-Sabar Bedouin |
| Season II |  Dr. Ironyx Fist | Quatar Heretics |
| Season III | ??? | Ka-Sabar Bedouin |
Golden Boot
Kick 'em!
| PLAYER | TEAM | |
|---|---|---|
| Season I |  Shoobiby Doob Na Rahkman | Quatar Nobnibblers |
| Season II |  Said Said Said Said Ecce Ec... | Quatar Nobnibblers |
| Season III | Dorin | Quatar Nobnibblers |
Spiked Trophy Winners
These players have earned the Spiked Trophy award in the KPL! How do you earn this coveted award?
Easy, get killed by the spiked ball!
| Season | PLAYER | COMMENTARY |
|---|---|---|
| I | Osirius | Taken out by a bouncing Spiked ball which impaled him through the neck. ...GLORIOUS! |
| I | Kadon | Taken out by a hand off gone wrong. Missed handled the hand off and the ball went through his rib cage and came out his back, he crumbled to the pitch in a pile of bones ...CRUSHING! |
| II | McNibblesausage | A rookie draft pick, taken out by a missed High Kick, on the first turn and the first play of his (very) short career. The ball came out of the glare of the sunlight and he was too slow to react. The ball hit squarely in the head and his skull exploded like a watermelon. He stood there for a few second, like a pumpkin head scarecrow, and then collapsed. ...SPLATTASTIC! |
| VII | Vela | This was the first game in Season Seven for North America, and really set the tone for the season. Opponent tried to bounce the ball free, and it bounced thru poor Vela instead. BONE-BREAKING! |
| VII | Zen-Ghara | Zen-Ghara went to the back of the field to collect the ball at the end of the first half, little suspecting the danger that lurk there. For the ball he went to collect twisted in his arms and drove itself into his eyesocket instead, leaving only a little mess of bone meal for the cleanup crew. WICKED! |
| VII | Wroggle | Poor little mortal attempted to collect the ball for a pass from under the watchful eye of a saurus. Botched it badly and took a spike to femoral artery, but it didn't end his career! He continued to play for the bony lizards!. HARSH! |
| VII | Haley Naria | Tried to catch a pass in overtime, but someone replaced the ball they normally used with some filled with garlic and holy water. Neither the apothocary nor her natural regeneration could save her from her eternal rest. BLOODTHIRSTY! |
| VII | Te'atl-Kripur | This was the first game in Season Seven for Europe, and also set the tone for the seventh season. Closing moments of the game. Desperate to tie the score, Tlenheyec chucked the ball at Te'atl-Kripur, shattering the later's ribcage leaving boneshards around the pitch after the game. FURIOUS! |
The Fallen
Now, which other league on FUMBBL gives you a glorious exit from the league? Even if you rage quit, throw your arms up in disgust or just flat out retire you will still become immortal in the KPL. You story engraved on the sand stones of woe for all time, or until the sand of the desert rubs the etched words to nothing and then your memory fades away in the sand.
These are the previous coaches of the KPL and their tales of woe as they are dispatched with much malice and hate by Tomb King Settra the Imperishable.
These are the previous coaches of the KPL and their tales of woe as they are dispatched with much malice and hate by Tomb King Settra the Imperishable.
Bhagar Beggars
The sun rises in the east over Khemri City. A new day, a new dawn and a new hope. The loyal citizens of Khemri are greeted by the head of wheelchairguy on a spike on the front battlement of Settra's palace.
********************
"Bring him forth!"
wheelchairguy is dragged by Settra's royal guard and dropped in front of his throne. He looks up to Settra with pleading eyes.
"Coach Azure approach the throne."
Coach Azure, surrounded by his throng of assistant coaches, approaches the throne of Settra.
"Azure, your glory and fame has reached my ears. I have invited you to join the ranks of the KPL to further your glory and fame. You have honored me by coming to Khemri and guiding a team to glory."
Settra approaches Azure from his golden throne. He pulls out his two handed sword and gives it to Azure.
"Azure, you will have the honor of banishing wheelchairguy from the KPL. His dishonor has offended all the people of Khemri. Raise the blade and send this vagabond to the underworld were he will suffer a hell of a thousand suns."
Azure takes the sword but he has a look of distress upon his face.
"My King I jumped at the chance to guide a team in the KPL. A team that will rise to the top and claim VICTORY over all of Khemri. But I am no headsman, I hold no malice to wheelchairguy. I must insist that the honor will be all yours when you dispatch him."
Azure and his assistant coaches take a knee and bow their heads to Settra. Settra gives Azure a penetrating gaze. No wonder I like this coach so much. He knows the "lay of the land" and can determine ones next move. Settra takes the sword from Azures hand and approaches wheelchariguy.
"My King I have sinned. I am a drunkard, a defiler of virgins and a gambler. I meant no disrespect to you or Khemri, I am a loyal subject and dedicated coach, when I am not drunk. Spare me my King, I will prove that I am worthy."
Settra looks over at Rah-ma. Rah-ma closes his eyes and concentrates on wheelchariguy. After a few moments Rah-ma opens his eyes and then bows his head to Settra.
"No! my King I will not let you down. I am loyal and a man of Khemri."
The Kings guard grabs wheelchairguy by the back of his neck and prostrate him before Settra.
"wheelchairguy you have brought dishonor on yourself and your team. The only justice is DEATH. Not just of you but of your team. Your team will be enslaved by the house of Settra and serve 1000 years under the whip."
Settra brings down his two handed sword and decapitates wheelchairguy in one clean blow. His head rolls down the steps and comes to rest 14 feet away.
"Impale his head on a spike and show it to the masses on the palace gates until after the KPL Championship."
Settra turns and kicks the body of wheelchariguy, spits on him and then sits on his throne.
"Azure come forth! "
Azure and his assistant coaches prostrate themselves before the King.
"Azure, may glory and riches follow you. I give you the head coach job of a KPL team. I know you will not let me down and guide your team to glory and fame."
The sun rises in the east over Khemri City. A new day, a new dawn and a new hope. The loyal citizens of Khemri are greeted by the head of wheelchairguy on a spike on the front battlement of Settra's palace.
********************
"Bring him forth!"
wheelchairguy is dragged by Settra's royal guard and dropped in front of his throne. He looks up to Settra with pleading eyes.
"Coach Azure approach the throne."
Coach Azure, surrounded by his throng of assistant coaches, approaches the throne of Settra.
"Azure, your glory and fame has reached my ears. I have invited you to join the ranks of the KPL to further your glory and fame. You have honored me by coming to Khemri and guiding a team to glory."
Settra approaches Azure from his golden throne. He pulls out his two handed sword and gives it to Azure.
"Azure, you will have the honor of banishing wheelchairguy from the KPL. His dishonor has offended all the people of Khemri. Raise the blade and send this vagabond to the underworld were he will suffer a hell of a thousand suns."
Azure takes the sword but he has a look of distress upon his face.
"My King I jumped at the chance to guide a team in the KPL. A team that will rise to the top and claim VICTORY over all of Khemri. But I am no headsman, I hold no malice to wheelchairguy. I must insist that the honor will be all yours when you dispatch him."
Azure and his assistant coaches take a knee and bow their heads to Settra. Settra gives Azure a penetrating gaze. No wonder I like this coach so much. He knows the "lay of the land" and can determine ones next move. Settra takes the sword from Azures hand and approaches wheelchariguy.
"My King I have sinned. I am a drunkard, a defiler of virgins and a gambler. I meant no disrespect to you or Khemri, I am a loyal subject and dedicated coach, when I am not drunk. Spare me my King, I will prove that I am worthy."
Settra looks over at Rah-ma. Rah-ma closes his eyes and concentrates on wheelchariguy. After a few moments Rah-ma opens his eyes and then bows his head to Settra.
"No! my King I will not let you down. I am loyal and a man of Khemri."
The Kings guard grabs wheelchairguy by the back of his neck and prostrate him before Settra.
"wheelchairguy you have brought dishonor on yourself and your team. The only justice is DEATH. Not just of you but of your team. Your team will be enslaved by the house of Settra and serve 1000 years under the whip."
Settra brings down his two handed sword and decapitates wheelchairguy in one clean blow. His head rolls down the steps and comes to rest 14 feet away.
"Impale his head on a spike and show it to the masses on the palace gates until after the KPL Championship."
Settra turns and kicks the body of wheelchariguy, spits on him and then sits on his throne.
"Azure come forth! "
Azure and his assistant coaches prostrate themselves before the King.
"Azure, may glory and riches follow you. I give you the head coach job of a KPL team. I know you will not let me down and guide your team to glory and fame."
Quatar's Crushers
The sun rises in the East, a new day, a new dawn. The citizens of Khemri awaken and start shuffling around. They are greeted by a grizzly site at the city gate.
Coach Fangbanger has been crucified and left on the side of the road on the way into the city. The carrion have already made a morning meal of him. Soon the scarab beetles will emerge and finish him off.
Tomb King Settra stands on his balcony overlooking the city. He is extremely angry and looking to string up some more coaches. He will line the road from Khemri to Ka-Sabar with crucifixes if needed.
The door opens up and Rah-Ma comes shuffling in.
"My King the pm's have been sent out."
"Will probably fall on deaf ears with most of that sorry lot of coaches. It is time Rah-Ma to cull the ranks after Wed."
Settra spits on the ground and starts brooding on who will be his next victim.
The sun rises in the East, a new day, a new dawn. The citizens of Khemri awaken and start shuffling around. They are greeted by a grizzly site at the city gate.
Coach Fangbanger has been crucified and left on the side of the road on the way into the city. The carrion have already made a morning meal of him. Soon the scarab beetles will emerge and finish him off.
Tomb King Settra stands on his balcony overlooking the city. He is extremely angry and looking to string up some more coaches. He will line the road from Khemri to Ka-Sabar with crucifixes if needed.
The door opens up and Rah-Ma comes shuffling in.
"My King the pm's have been sent out."
"Will probably fall on deaf ears with most of that sorry lot of coaches. It is time Rah-Ma to cull the ranks after Wed."
Settra spits on the ground and starts brooding on who will be his next victim.
Beremas Bludgeoners
Settra sits on his golden throne in deep conversation with Rah-Ma over the state of affairs of the KPL. The double door to the throne room crashes open. The sound of mail marching on the marble stones echoes off the walls. Settra looks up and then a smile crosses his face.
Four Tomb Guardians are carrying coach Spasma and dragging him into the throne room. They throw him down before the dais. His head hits the marble stairs. Two teeth go flying and the sound of a nose breaking ring out in the silent throne room.
Settra stands up and walks slowly down the dais. Stands over coach Spasma and reaches down with his gauntlet hand and picks his head off the marble floor by his hair. Arches his head back and looks into his eyes.
Spasma is moaning in pain, his mind is in a fog. But his eyes get wide when he looks into Settra's eyes.
"No my King. I tried, I really did. I upheld the honor of the KPL to the best of my ability."
"Your ability was found lacking coach Spasma."
Settra back hand slaps Spasma across the face. 3 more teeth go flying. A stream of crimson blood gushes out from his mouth in a spray of gore. Spasma's eyes roll and he collapses in a heap at Settras feet.
"Take him to the dungeon. I got something special lined up for this one."
"My King we are still searching for the others on your list. They have gone under rocks, word is some are attempting to flee Khemri."
"If the Royal guard does not have enough men for the search draw men from the regulars. Scour the city and then fan out to all of Khemri. I want those coaches heads."
Settra looks down at Spasma. Spits on his forehead and then walks back up to his throne. His penetrating gaze follows the Tomb Guardians as they drag Spasma to the dungeons.
Settra sits on his golden throne in deep conversation with Rah-Ma over the state of affairs of the KPL. The double door to the throne room crashes open. The sound of mail marching on the marble stones echoes off the walls. Settra looks up and then a smile crosses his face.
Four Tomb Guardians are carrying coach Spasma and dragging him into the throne room. They throw him down before the dais. His head hits the marble stairs. Two teeth go flying and the sound of a nose breaking ring out in the silent throne room.
Settra stands up and walks slowly down the dais. Stands over coach Spasma and reaches down with his gauntlet hand and picks his head off the marble floor by his hair. Arches his head back and looks into his eyes.
Spasma is moaning in pain, his mind is in a fog. But his eyes get wide when he looks into Settra's eyes.
"No my King. I tried, I really did. I upheld the honor of the KPL to the best of my ability."
"Your ability was found lacking coach Spasma."
Settra back hand slaps Spasma across the face. 3 more teeth go flying. A stream of crimson blood gushes out from his mouth in a spray of gore. Spasma's eyes roll and he collapses in a heap at Settras feet.
"Take him to the dungeon. I got something special lined up for this one."
"My King we are still searching for the others on your list. They have gone under rocks, word is some are attempting to flee Khemri."
"If the Royal guard does not have enough men for the search draw men from the regulars. Scour the city and then fan out to all of Khemri. I want those coaches heads."
Settra looks down at Spasma. Spits on his forehead and then walks back up to his throne. His penetrating gaze follows the Tomb Guardians as they drag Spasma to the dungeons.
Lahmian Lycanthropes &
Lahmia Crimson Moons
Settra stands in the middle of the intersection taking in the sounds of battle. Embers from burning buildings fall all around him. In the street the bodies of men, women and children are strewn all over the cobblestone streets. His 4 captains stand around him, giving orders to sergeants. Behind them a scorpion is being dragged by some slaves into position down the street.
Settra looks down at one of the men dead in the street. He is a mercenary from the north. He scans his badge, it is the Sons of the Hammer. A renegade merc unit from the Empire. Low down and men of no honor. No wonder they left their homeland. One of the buildings finally surrenders to the flames and comes crashing down. Sending embers and flames all over the street.
"My King we have finally surrounded them and pushed them into merchants square at the end of the street. The men on the front line say they are huddled up in the stone building on the far side, the coin changers shop. We are pressing them as we speak."
"Very good captain. Send out the word that I want Araznaroth and Positronmike taken alive if possible. If they are men of honor they will die with sword in hand and face me. Follow me captains, lets end this once and for all."
Settra and his entourage of Captains and Tomb Guardians move at a brisk pace down the street. Citizens of Khemri are fleeing for their lives. Merchants are running with their wares on their backs, trying to salvage anything from the path of destruction their King has brought down on their heads.
Settra enters the merchants square and witnesses the battle at hand. The Sons of the Hammer are surrounded on all sides. They number around 200 left. A scorpion to his right lets out a bolt and it crashes into the stone building across the square. Hits the reinforced door and cracks it frame. Another Scorpion lets out another bolt and the window on the second floor explodes in rubble and debris. A archer crashes to the ground out of the hole that is now smouldering with flame.
Settra advances with his guard, joining in with the 2nd Heavy infantry that are pressing the Sons of the Hammer. Settra loses himself in mortal combat. All thoughts leave his mind as he focuses on what he does best, leading men in battle. Settra wades into the north men. He is a juggernaut of death and destruction, all fall before his mighty sceptre, all who face him die. The infantry seeing their king in the middle of the fray double their efforts and the carnage is immense.
Ten minutes late all the Sons of the Hammer are laid low. Body parts litter the square, the cries of the mortally wounded are heard and then snuffed. Some of the infantry are already mounting their heads on pikes. Settra scans the scene and is pleased. His mind though comes back into focus when a battle cry is heard. The remains of the front door to the coin changers shop burst open. The remaining Sons of the Hammer come charging out in a glorious display of battle lust, desperation and the desire to die with a sword in hand, Settra's respect for them goes up 2 notches.
Leading the charge is coach Araznaroth, his wicked double bladed battle axe lifted on high. He brings it down and 2 of the infantrymen crumble to bone in front of him. He front kicks another man to the ground and his axe crashes down into his skeletal rib cage and shatters him in half. He lets out a might war cry and points to Settra and then charges.
They meet in the middle of the square. Axe against sceptre, sparks are flying, they circle each other in the dance of combat and death. Araznaroth charges in swings his might axe, Settra sidesteps the blow and sparks fly off his thigh guard as the axes deflects off of it. Settra wheels around with a mighty blow and catches him square in the back with his mighty sceptre. Bones crack, blood flies out of his mouth. Araznaroth is laid low. He is crawling for his axe just out of reach. Then a large foot comes down between Araznaroth and his axe. The foot pushes the axe closer to his hand. Araznaroth looks up and sees Settra standing over him, sceptre raised on high.
"Thank you my King, you have honored me."
Araznaroth grabs the axe and attempts a feeble swing at Settra. But before he can connect the world goes black. Settras mighty sceptre crashes through his helm and reduces his head to pudding.
"My King we have captured Positronmike, he was sulking in the corner and attempted to make a mad dash to safety."
"Bring him forth."
Positronmike is dragged through the blood and gore. His hands bound behind his back. The Tomb Guards throw him at the feet of Settra. Positron rolls over and spits a luggie at the feet of Settra.
"You still defy me Positron. You knew what would happen if you failed me."
"To HELL with you Settra. KPL is bush league man. This league stinks."
Settra looks down at this feeble and weak coach. Turns to his captain
"Crucify him in the square. Put all the heads of the Sons on spikes and ring them around him. Do not kill him, I want him to suffer."
An hour later Settra leaves the square. Buildings still on fire. Carnage all around. Huddled in a mass are some citizens of Khemri wailing and screaming to the old Gods to end this suffering, this pain and the horror.
Positronmike is crucified on a 10 foot cross. All around him are hundred of heads on spikes. The body parts of the fallen are all stacked up in a bloody mess around the cross. Positronmike is left to suffer for days as the flies, carrion and scarabs have a feast of his henchmen. On the third day "he" finally comes for Positronmike. A sceptre is scene hovering in the square and approaches Positronmike. His death cries could be heard all over Khemri. In the 4th plane of Hell his scream announces his arrival with the Lord of the 4th plane.
When will the culling of the KPL end?
...Three days earlier on the outskirts of Khemri city in a village the Bedouin are getting in some practice time. When coach sees the players are all looking back at the city. Black smoke is billowing from the merchant quarters. Coach WhatBall gets an uneasy feeling as he sees people fleeing through the front gate, troops storming into the city.
"Ok guys, pack up your gear. We are not far enough way yet."
The last the locals see of the Bedouin is their backs as they force march over a dune and disappear into the sunset.
Lahmia Crimson Moons
Settra stands in the middle of the intersection taking in the sounds of battle. Embers from burning buildings fall all around him. In the street the bodies of men, women and children are strewn all over the cobblestone streets. His 4 captains stand around him, giving orders to sergeants. Behind them a scorpion is being dragged by some slaves into position down the street.
Settra looks down at one of the men dead in the street. He is a mercenary from the north. He scans his badge, it is the Sons of the Hammer. A renegade merc unit from the Empire. Low down and men of no honor. No wonder they left their homeland. One of the buildings finally surrenders to the flames and comes crashing down. Sending embers and flames all over the street.
"My King we have finally surrounded them and pushed them into merchants square at the end of the street. The men on the front line say they are huddled up in the stone building on the far side, the coin changers shop. We are pressing them as we speak."
"Very good captain. Send out the word that I want Araznaroth and Positronmike taken alive if possible. If they are men of honor they will die with sword in hand and face me. Follow me captains, lets end this once and for all."
Settra and his entourage of Captains and Tomb Guardians move at a brisk pace down the street. Citizens of Khemri are fleeing for their lives. Merchants are running with their wares on their backs, trying to salvage anything from the path of destruction their King has brought down on their heads.
Settra enters the merchants square and witnesses the battle at hand. The Sons of the Hammer are surrounded on all sides. They number around 200 left. A scorpion to his right lets out a bolt and it crashes into the stone building across the square. Hits the reinforced door and cracks it frame. Another Scorpion lets out another bolt and the window on the second floor explodes in rubble and debris. A archer crashes to the ground out of the hole that is now smouldering with flame.
Settra advances with his guard, joining in with the 2nd Heavy infantry that are pressing the Sons of the Hammer. Settra loses himself in mortal combat. All thoughts leave his mind as he focuses on what he does best, leading men in battle. Settra wades into the north men. He is a juggernaut of death and destruction, all fall before his mighty sceptre, all who face him die. The infantry seeing their king in the middle of the fray double their efforts and the carnage is immense.
Ten minutes late all the Sons of the Hammer are laid low. Body parts litter the square, the cries of the mortally wounded are heard and then snuffed. Some of the infantry are already mounting their heads on pikes. Settra scans the scene and is pleased. His mind though comes back into focus when a battle cry is heard. The remains of the front door to the coin changers shop burst open. The remaining Sons of the Hammer come charging out in a glorious display of battle lust, desperation and the desire to die with a sword in hand, Settra's respect for them goes up 2 notches.
Leading the charge is coach Araznaroth, his wicked double bladed battle axe lifted on high. He brings it down and 2 of the infantrymen crumble to bone in front of him. He front kicks another man to the ground and his axe crashes down into his skeletal rib cage and shatters him in half. He lets out a might war cry and points to Settra and then charges.
They meet in the middle of the square. Axe against sceptre, sparks are flying, they circle each other in the dance of combat and death. Araznaroth charges in swings his might axe, Settra sidesteps the blow and sparks fly off his thigh guard as the axes deflects off of it. Settra wheels around with a mighty blow and catches him square in the back with his mighty sceptre. Bones crack, blood flies out of his mouth. Araznaroth is laid low. He is crawling for his axe just out of reach. Then a large foot comes down between Araznaroth and his axe. The foot pushes the axe closer to his hand. Araznaroth looks up and sees Settra standing over him, sceptre raised on high.
"Thank you my King, you have honored me."
Araznaroth grabs the axe and attempts a feeble swing at Settra. But before he can connect the world goes black. Settras mighty sceptre crashes through his helm and reduces his head to pudding.
"My King we have captured Positronmike, he was sulking in the corner and attempted to make a mad dash to safety."
"Bring him forth."
Positronmike is dragged through the blood and gore. His hands bound behind his back. The Tomb Guards throw him at the feet of Settra. Positron rolls over and spits a luggie at the feet of Settra.
"You still defy me Positron. You knew what would happen if you failed me."
"To HELL with you Settra. KPL is bush league man. This league stinks."
Settra looks down at this feeble and weak coach. Turns to his captain
"Crucify him in the square. Put all the heads of the Sons on spikes and ring them around him. Do not kill him, I want him to suffer."
An hour later Settra leaves the square. Buildings still on fire. Carnage all around. Huddled in a mass are some citizens of Khemri wailing and screaming to the old Gods to end this suffering, this pain and the horror.
Positronmike is crucified on a 10 foot cross. All around him are hundred of heads on spikes. The body parts of the fallen are all stacked up in a bloody mess around the cross. Positronmike is left to suffer for days as the flies, carrion and scarabs have a feast of his henchmen. On the third day "he" finally comes for Positronmike. A sceptre is scene hovering in the square and approaches Positronmike. His death cries could be heard all over Khemri. In the 4th plane of Hell his scream announces his arrival with the Lord of the 4th plane.
When will the culling of the KPL end?
...Three days earlier on the outskirts of Khemri city in a village the Bedouin are getting in some practice time. When coach sees the players are all looking back at the city. Black smoke is billowing from the merchant quarters. Coach WhatBall gets an uneasy feeling as he sees people fleeing through the front gate, troops storming into the city.
"Ok guys, pack up your gear. We are not far enough way yet."
The last the locals see of the Bedouin is their backs as they force march over a dune and disappear into the sunset.
Khemri Dust Tigers
It was a clear and sunny day as the ship left port. Robocoyote had made it, finally getting out of the land of insanity know as Khemri. Found a captain willing to take him to the coast of Tilea and drop him off as they headed to Lustria.
A few hours later Khemri dipped behind the horizon and he settles in his cabin. What a relief to leave the KPL behind him. All night long he partied with the crew below deck, drinking until he passed out in his cabin, he is free.
In the morning Robo wakes up and it seems the ship is not moving. He can hear the sailors on top yelling. Robo goes top side and his heart stops. There is a galley beside the ship. It is flying the royal colors. And then his heart stops, stepping on deck is Tomb King Settra himself. They lock eyes and Robo flees into the hold.
As he is hiding behind some kegs he can hear sailors and marines searching for him. It is not long and they find him. He tries to resist but they beat him down and drag him on top.
"Did you think you could out run my grasp?"
Robo looks up at Settra with a swollen eye and spits on his feet
"You can take the KPL and shove it up were the sun don't shine man. That league stinks man. Make a real league and proper Blood Bowl."
Settra looks down at Robo and just smiles. He looks over and waves over one of his tomb priests.
"I have something special in store for this one. Perform the ritual. Raise the Kraken from the depths. Robo do you know when the last time a Kraken was scene in these waters?"
Robo looks at Settra with spite and malice. Then lowers his head.
"It has been over 1000 years since a Kraken has been scene in these waters. The reason is very simple actually. I bent its will to mine, even a mighty leviathan eventually bends the knee to a true king."
The sea starts to churn. Sailors are looking overboard and running around in fear. At first just its tentacle appear and then the massive body of the Kraken rises from the ocean.
"Here is your fate Robo. Look into its eyes. I hear it takes over a week to die in the belly of a Kraken. I guess you will find out first hand."
Settra reaches over with his gauntlet hand and picks Robo up by his jerking with one hand. Side arm throws him in to the sea before the Kraken
It was a clear and sunny day as the ship left port. Robocoyote had made it, finally getting out of the land of insanity know as Khemri. Found a captain willing to take him to the coast of Tilea and drop him off as they headed to Lustria.
A few hours later Khemri dipped behind the horizon and he settles in his cabin. What a relief to leave the KPL behind him. All night long he partied with the crew below deck, drinking until he passed out in his cabin, he is free.
In the morning Robo wakes up and it seems the ship is not moving. He can hear the sailors on top yelling. Robo goes top side and his heart stops. There is a galley beside the ship. It is flying the royal colors. And then his heart stops, stepping on deck is Tomb King Settra himself. They lock eyes and Robo flees into the hold.
As he is hiding behind some kegs he can hear sailors and marines searching for him. It is not long and they find him. He tries to resist but they beat him down and drag him on top.
"Did you think you could out run my grasp?"
Robo looks up at Settra with a swollen eye and spits on his feet
"You can take the KPL and shove it up were the sun don't shine man. That league stinks man. Make a real league and proper Blood Bowl."
Settra looks down at Robo and just smiles. He looks over and waves over one of his tomb priests.
"I have something special in store for this one. Perform the ritual. Raise the Kraken from the depths. Robo do you know when the last time a Kraken was scene in these waters?"
Robo looks at Settra with spite and malice. Then lowers his head.
"It has been over 1000 years since a Kraken has been scene in these waters. The reason is very simple actually. I bent its will to mine, even a mighty leviathan eventually bends the knee to a true king."
The sea starts to churn. Sailors are looking overboard and running around in fear. At first just its tentacle appear and then the massive body of the Kraken rises from the ocean.
"Here is your fate Robo. Look into its eyes. I hear it takes over a week to die in the belly of a Kraken. I guess you will find out first hand."
Settra reaches over with his gauntlet hand and picks Robo up by his jerking with one hand. Side arm throws him in to the sea before the Kraken
Beremas Burial Battalion
Coach Russo walks into the throne room of Tomb King Settra and stands proudly before the King of all Khemri.
"My King I must inform you that I will not be returning to the KPL. I felt it was necessary to tell you in person. For I am a man of honor."
Settra looks at Russo and gives him a penetrating gaze.
"Coach Russo I respect that you came forward to me. Most scuttle away and make me find them. I release you from your commitments to the KPL."
One of Settra's tomb guards comes over and takes coach Russo's whistle.
"Russo I have heard that before you took up coaching that your were an engineer of some skill and prowess. Is this so?"
"It is my King. In fact I am looking to go into a venture with a cousin on a big job in the Empire."
"That is no bueno Russo. For the empire of Khemri needs men of your skill. There is a large pyramid project in Ka-Sabar that I am sure your expert mind could help us with. I will pay you 5 times the contract you and your cousin are getting from that imperial contractor."
Russo is taken back. That would be a fortune of gold. He could finally retire in peace once that contract is done.
"I accept my King. I look forward to serving you in a new capacity."
Settra stands up and approaches Russo. A big smile on his face. Russo takes a step back. He has a very uneasy feeling about this. Suddenly Settra pulls out a dagger and impales Russo right through the chest. A spray of crimson blood splashes over the white marble floor. Russo sinks to his knees and looks up at Settra.
"Why my Lord? I have served faithfully."
"That you have Russo and our contract is still valid. I did you a favor. The jungles of Ka-Sabar are filled with all kinds of nasty diseases and other things that the mortal flesh cannot endure. I have now given you a new life in my service."
Russo lays there dead on the white marble. A few moments later his body rises again. Russo bows to his king and walks out of the Throne room. Destined for far off Ka-Sabar as one of the new foremen of construction. Albeit an undead engineer but he is now living the dream in Ka-Sabar.
Do not say that Settra is not kind. Russo should have been crucified at the city gate.
Coach Russo walks into the throne room of Tomb King Settra and stands proudly before the King of all Khemri.
"My King I must inform you that I will not be returning to the KPL. I felt it was necessary to tell you in person. For I am a man of honor."
Settra looks at Russo and gives him a penetrating gaze.
"Coach Russo I respect that you came forward to me. Most scuttle away and make me find them. I release you from your commitments to the KPL."
One of Settra's tomb guards comes over and takes coach Russo's whistle.
"Russo I have heard that before you took up coaching that your were an engineer of some skill and prowess. Is this so?"
"It is my King. In fact I am looking to go into a venture with a cousin on a big job in the Empire."
"That is no bueno Russo. For the empire of Khemri needs men of your skill. There is a large pyramid project in Ka-Sabar that I am sure your expert mind could help us with. I will pay you 5 times the contract you and your cousin are getting from that imperial contractor."
Russo is taken back. That would be a fortune of gold. He could finally retire in peace once that contract is done.
"I accept my King. I look forward to serving you in a new capacity."
Settra stands up and approaches Russo. A big smile on his face. Russo takes a step back. He has a very uneasy feeling about this. Suddenly Settra pulls out a dagger and impales Russo right through the chest. A spray of crimson blood splashes over the white marble floor. Russo sinks to his knees and looks up at Settra.
"Why my Lord? I have served faithfully."
"That you have Russo and our contract is still valid. I did you a favor. The jungles of Ka-Sabar are filled with all kinds of nasty diseases and other things that the mortal flesh cannot endure. I have now given you a new life in my service."
Russo lays there dead on the white marble. A few moments later his body rises again. Russo bows to his king and walks out of the Throne room. Destined for far off Ka-Sabar as one of the new foremen of construction. Albeit an undead engineer but he is now living the dream in Ka-Sabar.
Do not say that Settra is not kind. Russo should have been crucified at the city gate.
Black Pyramid Pallbearers
It was a glorious day on a small island across the world in a land down under. He had finally gotten out of Khemri and made it back home. Found a new gig coaching one of the local teams. He would have to get used to playing Blood Bowl with Aussie rules but that was fine by him.
Coach Paradocks was hanging out in the local pub with his team after a nice 3-1 victory. Finally playing in a sane world he thought to himself.
The door to the pub opens up and a tall stranger walks in. He is covered from head to toe in wrappings of fine silk and gold. He ambles up to the bar and orders a drink.
Paradocks spits on the ground. Arabian merchants, I hate those guys. It brought to many memories of Khemri flooding back into his brain. He is brought out of his day dream by a presence behind him. He turns around and reels back in fear, he falls from his chair.
"A toast to your victory coach Paradocks, it was well played."
Settra raises his stein in a mock toast to all the players sitting around rooted in fear.
"You? How?"
"No one can escape me Paradocks. There is no hole anywhere in the world you can hide from me. You have displeased me greatly Paradocks. My ears still hurt from your parting shots you laid out in that seaside tavern before you sulked away over the ocean."
"King Settra they were not words of malice. Just a coach who was frustrated and beat down. No harm was intended by them."
Settra drains his stein in one gulp and then looks down at Paradocks and approaches. He grabs him by his uniform and lifts him up off the ground by his throat with one arm. Paradocks starts banging on his arm trying to realease him from the death grip. Settra looks into his eyes and smiles. Paradocks after a minute stops his struggle. Settra drops the body on the ground and leaves the pub. As he turns the corner into the alley that was when the screams began.
It took the city guards and militia 5 hours to stop the rampage of the mysterious wight who appeared in the seaside village. 27 towns folk slain by the undead fiend. They drew and quartered his body and then burned his remains. They then took his bones and crushed them to dust and threw them into the seas.
************
The ship was far out to sea when the necromancer opened up the chest. Reached in with greedy hands and pulled out his new treasure, a burned skull. He pulls out his cleaning gear and begins to polish and clean his new prize. "You have power inside you, I can feel it. You were born by a powerful foe." He calls on the amethyst winds of magic, they swirl around the skull. After a few moments the empty eye-sockets glow with the red power of hate and death.
In the 3rd plane of HELL Paradocks is awoken, his soul called back to the prime plane. He looks out into the mortal world once again and all he feels is anger and hunger. He lets out a cry of pain and rage that can be heard through out the 3rd plane of Hell.
It was a glorious day on a small island across the world in a land down under. He had finally gotten out of Khemri and made it back home. Found a new gig coaching one of the local teams. He would have to get used to playing Blood Bowl with Aussie rules but that was fine by him.
Coach Paradocks was hanging out in the local pub with his team after a nice 3-1 victory. Finally playing in a sane world he thought to himself.
The door to the pub opens up and a tall stranger walks in. He is covered from head to toe in wrappings of fine silk and gold. He ambles up to the bar and orders a drink.
Paradocks spits on the ground. Arabian merchants, I hate those guys. It brought to many memories of Khemri flooding back into his brain. He is brought out of his day dream by a presence behind him. He turns around and reels back in fear, he falls from his chair.
"A toast to your victory coach Paradocks, it was well played."
Settra raises his stein in a mock toast to all the players sitting around rooted in fear.
"You? How?"
"No one can escape me Paradocks. There is no hole anywhere in the world you can hide from me. You have displeased me greatly Paradocks. My ears still hurt from your parting shots you laid out in that seaside tavern before you sulked away over the ocean."
"King Settra they were not words of malice. Just a coach who was frustrated and beat down. No harm was intended by them."
Settra drains his stein in one gulp and then looks down at Paradocks and approaches. He grabs him by his uniform and lifts him up off the ground by his throat with one arm. Paradocks starts banging on his arm trying to realease him from the death grip. Settra looks into his eyes and smiles. Paradocks after a minute stops his struggle. Settra drops the body on the ground and leaves the pub. As he turns the corner into the alley that was when the screams began.
It took the city guards and militia 5 hours to stop the rampage of the mysterious wight who appeared in the seaside village. 27 towns folk slain by the undead fiend. They drew and quartered his body and then burned his remains. They then took his bones and crushed them to dust and threw them into the seas.
************
The ship was far out to sea when the necromancer opened up the chest. Reached in with greedy hands and pulled out his new treasure, a burned skull. He pulls out his cleaning gear and begins to polish and clean his new prize. "You have power inside you, I can feel it. You were born by a powerful foe." He calls on the amethyst winds of magic, they swirl around the skull. After a few moments the empty eye-sockets glow with the red power of hate and death.
In the 3rd plane of HELL Paradocks is awoken, his soul called back to the prime plane. He looks out into the mortal world once again and all he feels is anger and hunger. He lets out a cry of pain and rage that can be heard through out the 3rd plane of Hell.
Ka Sabar Falchions
The Tomb Guardians enter the low rent apartment building from the back. Tomb King Settra walks in the front door with his guards. They proceed to the second story room at the end of the corridor. The Tomb Guard step forward and start bashing down the door.
The door is reinforced and it takes the Guards 10 blows before it blows off the hinges. The smell of a crypt waffs into the hall, a tomb beetle comes scuryying out.
Settra enters the dark one room dive and scan around. Spider webs hang in the corners, crypt rats are scurrying around. Looks like they have eaten the place out. Settra sees a glowing light over in the corner, a chair is in front of the monitor. Settra approachs and notices that there is a man in the chair. He pulls out his two handed sword, prepared. He swivels the chair around with his foot ready to strike.
Settra gazes down at the mummified body of Big-Al. Perfectly preserved by this crypt environment he lives in. Settra looks up at the monitor scanning the FUMBBL chat log.
<mad coach> Dude were in the hell are you?
silence
<mad coach>Man Iam hitting the time out button this is insane.
silence
<mad coach>COME ONE MAN!!!!! I do not have time to sit around here, did you pass out you drunkard?
silence
<mad coach>To hell with you man!!!!
mad coach leaves the match
<mad coach>You have to be kidding me man...this game has been up for 3 days now...are you ever going to move? My team is locked up by this stupid match.
silence
<mad coach>Iam gettting an admin
silence
<admin>Big-Al are you still alive. I just got the support ticket that this match is still up and unresolved...what is your problem? It has been 9 days now!!!! Iam closing out the match and awarding a concession victory to mad coach.
silence
<admin> Have a nice day Big-Al and any further reports of abandoned games will not go well.
Admin leaves match...Big Al leaves match.
The game is in post match mode.
Setta looks over at his Tomb Priest.
"So Priest what do you think? This is unnatural."
"Yes it is very strange indeed. His body is perfectly mummified. Only a master could do such work. Look at how the room is sealed up."
Settra and the Tomb Guards look around. There is a very strange feeling in the air. Something lurks here, some spirit or ghost. The Tomb Guards pull out their swords and start fanning out. Settra stands on guard in the middle of the room.
"What are you doing!!! do not touch the window!!"
the warning from the Tomb Priest comes to late. One of the Tomb Guards breaks the wood coverings over the window to let in the sunlight. The window blows out and the air from outside comes blowing into the crypt room. The Tomb Guard is blow apart into 800 mummy rags as the wind shreds his body. Settra stands firm as the wind blows at him. The Tomb Priest falls to the ground and is yelling at Settra and pointing at Big-Al. Settra scans over and sees Big-Al rising from his chair. His body is consuming the air and animating him. A FLESH GOLEM FROM THE ABYSS!!!!!!
Settra moves with alacrity. Strking the golem left and right. The golem is not defending himself but the blows are doing little damage. The Golem back hand slaps Settra across the chest and the golems arm crumbles into dust as it hits Settra, his golden runes of protection glowing.
Settra drops his sword and wrestles the flesh golem to the ground. Begins to beat the living tar out of the Flesh Golem until all that remains is a broken body, the body of Big-Al.
2 hours later.
"Priest what in the heck was that? I enjoyed beating down Big-Al the flesh golem...but were did it come from?"
The priest is silent for a few moments.
"There is only one who knows the secret of the Flesh Golem and how to create them....NAGASH!"
Settra walks back to his palace contemplating and planning. Is NAGASH still lingering around the capital? Why do this to a KPL coach?
The Tomb Guardians enter the low rent apartment building from the back. Tomb King Settra walks in the front door with his guards. They proceed to the second story room at the end of the corridor. The Tomb Guard step forward and start bashing down the door.
The door is reinforced and it takes the Guards 10 blows before it blows off the hinges. The smell of a crypt waffs into the hall, a tomb beetle comes scuryying out.
Settra enters the dark one room dive and scan around. Spider webs hang in the corners, crypt rats are scurrying around. Looks like they have eaten the place out. Settra sees a glowing light over in the corner, a chair is in front of the monitor. Settra approachs and notices that there is a man in the chair. He pulls out his two handed sword, prepared. He swivels the chair around with his foot ready to strike.
Settra gazes down at the mummified body of Big-Al. Perfectly preserved by this crypt environment he lives in. Settra looks up at the monitor scanning the FUMBBL chat log.
<mad coach> Dude were in the hell are you?
silence
<mad coach>Man Iam hitting the time out button this is insane.
silence
<mad coach>COME ONE MAN!!!!! I do not have time to sit around here, did you pass out you drunkard?
silence
<mad coach>To hell with you man!!!!
mad coach leaves the match
<mad coach>You have to be kidding me man...this game has been up for 3 days now...are you ever going to move? My team is locked up by this stupid match.
silence
<mad coach>Iam gettting an admin
silence
<admin>Big-Al are you still alive. I just got the support ticket that this match is still up and unresolved...what is your problem? It has been 9 days now!!!! Iam closing out the match and awarding a concession victory to mad coach.
silence
<admin> Have a nice day Big-Al and any further reports of abandoned games will not go well.
Admin leaves match...Big Al leaves match.
The game is in post match mode.
Setta looks over at his Tomb Priest.
"So Priest what do you think? This is unnatural."
"Yes it is very strange indeed. His body is perfectly mummified. Only a master could do such work. Look at how the room is sealed up."
Settra and the Tomb Guards look around. There is a very strange feeling in the air. Something lurks here, some spirit or ghost. The Tomb Guards pull out their swords and start fanning out. Settra stands on guard in the middle of the room.
"What are you doing!!! do not touch the window!!"
the warning from the Tomb Priest comes to late. One of the Tomb Guards breaks the wood coverings over the window to let in the sunlight. The window blows out and the air from outside comes blowing into the crypt room. The Tomb Guard is blow apart into 800 mummy rags as the wind shreds his body. Settra stands firm as the wind blows at him. The Tomb Priest falls to the ground and is yelling at Settra and pointing at Big-Al. Settra scans over and sees Big-Al rising from his chair. His body is consuming the air and animating him. A FLESH GOLEM FROM THE ABYSS!!!!!!
Settra moves with alacrity. Strking the golem left and right. The golem is not defending himself but the blows are doing little damage. The Golem back hand slaps Settra across the chest and the golems arm crumbles into dust as it hits Settra, his golden runes of protection glowing.
Settra drops his sword and wrestles the flesh golem to the ground. Begins to beat the living tar out of the Flesh Golem until all that remains is a broken body, the body of Big-Al.
2 hours later.
"Priest what in the heck was that? I enjoyed beating down Big-Al the flesh golem...but were did it come from?"
The priest is silent for a few moments.
"There is only one who knows the secret of the Flesh Golem and how to create them....NAGASH!"
Settra walks back to his palace contemplating and planning. Is NAGASH still lingering around the capital? Why do this to a KPL coach?
Extras
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This is the KPL's treasury of logos, images, and other rare artifacts.
KPL Logos
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Proud member of the
KHEMRI PREMIER LEAGUE
KHEMRI PREMIER LEAGUE
With this:
[block=center width=600px bg=none fg=black][size=18][b]Proud member of the
KHEMRI PREMIER LEAGUE[/b][/size]
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/449434[/img] <<<Settra
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/449433[/img] <<< Settra
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/461818[/img] <<<< Settra
[url=/p/group&group=8702&op=view][img]/i/415874[/img][/url][/block]
KHEMRI PREMIER LEAGUE[/b][/size]
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/449434[/img] <<<Settra
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/449433[/img] <<< Settra
[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/461818[/img] <<<< Settra
[url=/p/group&group=8702&op=view][img]/i/415874[/img][/url][/block]