“I think we can safely say that the gobbos were clearly the better side and maneuvered themselves from the pitch to dugout like true proffesionals. They would surely have won if it wasn't for the oppositions rude behaviour of grabbing the ball before we scored. But these goobos won't let their heads go down, the ratmen clearly were cheating so this counts as a victory, maintaining the Shunts' unbeaten record.”