“FUMBBL SMACK LEGEND ROUND 2 MATCH!
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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Doom and Gloom
Morley's
Bribe the Ref2
2 other really weak ones I can't recall

Anyways, the Zons started in offence and injured one player (BH) and KO'd another with a foul early, then brought the ball forward in a cage.

With so many players bunched up (including one AG2), the Falcons used their Fireball and wham!!! Extreme undeserved luck. All four players went down including the AG5 ball carrier and two were KO'd and one was stunned!!!

The Falcons stole the ball and took it deep and put up a defensive screen. Emphasy was not concentrating and on his turn, he ran across a player with Tackle and had to use a RR on a needless dodge. This cost him later when a one dice block came up a skull.

The Falcons delayed scoring a turn, knocking out a third Zon, but losing the legendary Valdrek (badly hurt). The Falcons KOd a third player and (as I was reminded later) caused the Zons to use up their apothecary to prevent a niggle on their Dirty Player.

With 8 on 8, the Falcons decided to score and took a 1-0 lead half way into the opening period. Unluckily for Emphasy, all 3 of his KO'd players were still sleeping!

The Falcons kicked and the Zons brought the ball forward, knocking out a Falcon, and causing a third casualty, this time a niggle on an AG5 Blitzer and the apothecary failed. Serve me right for sticking him on the line instead of the 172 SPP Lineman with -2 AG heh.

The Falcons responded by injuring one and KOing a second player to even it back up to 9 vs 9.

The Zons ran the ball down one wing and formed a cage near the sideline. The Falcons injured another player (BH) and pushed another out of bounds to have a 9-7 player advantage and were swarming over the Zon cage.

The Zons got a one dice Pow to remove a player with guard to set up a 1 dice blitz to try and score, needing a Pow or Dodge Pow and then 2 GFI. The dice came up skull, RR to skull and the ball carrier was KOed! Very unlucky for my opponent there.

With that turnover, another Zon player was pushed out of bounds (stunned) and another KOed on a hit and it was 9 on 4 with the Falcons sending the ball deep.

The Falcons knocked out another and then fouled a Zon Thrower causing a MNG to leave the Zons with 2 on the pitch. With no apothecary, the Falcons chose not to score to stop the Zons getting 2 sets of KO rolls.

This plan worked with only 3 out of 7 KOed players for the Zons waking up and the Zons had to kick with 7 players vs the Falcons who still had 12 players to choose from.

The Falcons kept the ball back and used their superior numbers to swarm the Zons and keep them back. They fouled the opposing Dirty Player once, stunning her, then a second time causing her to badly hurt, but the fouler was caught by the ref. 10 v 6

The Zons were having problems dodging against the Diving Tackle so the Falcons milked the clock down further with more SPP farming passes and fouled another Zon player, causing a MNG but getting the DP sent off. 9 v 5.

The Falcons KO'd another, and then my opponent had more bad luck with a 1 dice block coming up with a Skull rerolled into a Skull and it KOed herseof. 9v3

The Falcons ran the ball deeper and fouled another player, KOing her. 9v2

Another Zon was KOed and it was 9v1. The Falcons considered not scoring so that they did not have to take any hits on the LOS but decided to score with the rookie Lineman to get him a skill and risk an injury on the turn 8 blocks.

Emphasy was again unlucky with only 3 of 7 KOed players waking up leaving him with 4 players.

I made a mistake and put 3 expendible players on the line instead of stacking it with all the players to reduce the number of hits I could take all up. Luckily only a KO followed and the Falcons escaped with just the niggling due to the apothecary failing.
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A tough match for my opponent. Facing an insanely superior team and having really crappo handicaps made it very hard for him. The amazing fireball was quite unfair. I only wanted to flatten his AG2 player and possibly an AG3 one and that would be enough for me to blitz the ball carrier. Amazingly, I downed all 4 needing 6, 4+, 4+ 3+ and KO'd 2 of the players.

That gave me the first score and when Emphasy failed his 3 KO rolls (he made 6 from 17 all up) that gave me an advantage even though Valdrek was gone and I was able to steal the ball again.

With no apothecary and two Tackle Mighty Blows and a DP to face still, I decided to try and KO as many as I could and then not score to give my opponent only one set of KO recovery rolls.

I had at this stage forgotten that my opponent had no apoth (too many nights in a row with 4 hours sleep) so I was playing more brutal than I usually do even for a tournament where it is gloves off.

In the second half, I continued this strategy to try and reduce the threat to my players by tying him up and fouling a few times.

Anyway, after the match, my opponent told me I was an a$$. We didn't see eye to eye which was a shame as I have high regard for Emphasy and I only fouled him so much and kept trying to KO his players because it was a tourney, and I thought he had his apothecary.

If I had remembered his apoth was gone, I would have fouled a few less times as the chance of losing the ball was very low (though not impossible as I had a chance to win my last Warpstone Open match with 2 players vs 11).

I am an a$$ for fouling in a tourney match, but my opponent celebrates the niggling of my player in the open chat saying it was good he niggled a Falcon.

Oh well, it is just a game in the end and I wish Emphasy good luck with his team in the future.”