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This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

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The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

It Wasn't Me
Duh Where Am I?
Illegal Drugs
I Am the Greatest
- Bad Press may have been the last one, I don't recall.
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Well this game was a combination of punishment for trying to stall out the first half and dice rape heh. My opponent played an excellent game but also had a huge bonus with the lucky rolls to help him win the game.

First half I start in offence. I have start with some really crud rolls. My blitz move nets me a double skulls that I have to reroll. I get a couple through but then fail a 3+ dodge with RR in the middle with a snake-eyes (plenty of those rolled by me today). I don't have the ball yet and I am pressured in the backfield. No problems, I run the ball to the right wing but I roll snake eyes with my Str4 carrier on the GFI that makes him safe from being blitzed. I fall over, ball goes out of bounds into the midfield where my opponent picks it up and scores with some GFIs. My opponent himself says that the TD was undeserved, but that is the game of javabowl heh.

So 0-1 down instead of possibly 1-0 up.

Next drive, I have average rolls and get the ball deep. I can score on turn 6 or so? but wanted to try and preserve a 1-1 half. So instead of scoring, I throw the ball to Valdrek who is on the other side of the pitch, Str4 and no tacklers nearby and lots of support. If he gets the ball, it is a guaranteed score a turn later. Needing 3+ with a reroll, once again I get snake-eyes and I drop the ball.

My opponent pushes me away and gets the ball and throws it to a player downfield who is in a tacklezone and he drops the ball. My turn, I try to blitz the player needing to push him away from the ball. I need a GFI to get around the back and I roll a 1 of course. Reroll used. I then try to pick up the ball with a Blodger. 1 yet again.

My opponent fails a 2+ dodge with a snake-eyes. A bit of bad luck for him but still way less than I have had so far.

I go to move my AG5 player who can make a 2+ pass. Bone Head. I pick up the ball with another player and I am 5 from my receiver who can score. I decide not to do the two GFI and I need a 3. I roll a 2 and a 1 and I drop the ball yet again. What a game heh.

My opponent picks up the ball and fails a 3+ catch (with AG3 player) and it is a 0-1 first half.

That was an incredible amount of bad luck suffered by my team there, but partly I brought it on myself after the initial bad luck and turnover as I could have scored a TD and tried to defend a 2 turn score instead of trying to delay. Wasn't a very risky move (1/9 chance to get the ball to Valdrek so he could try and catch) but it wasn't risk free either and I paid the price.

Second half, I am kicking and my opponent starts with 10 due to some unlucky KO rolls (failed 4 from 4). He pushes two players deep and I pressure him and he brings the ball forward to his Str5 guy (thanks to drugs). I make a 3+ dodge, 2+ dodge and 2+ GFI to set up a 2 dice blitz on his ball carrier. 4 dice and not a single pow. Very lucky for my opponent.

The Dragons retreat with the ball, and get a one dice pow KO on one of the Falcons Witches.

I continue to apply the pressure and my opponent fails a 3+ dodge with RR and I have my chance to steal the ball.

Str4 player blitzes his Thrower. Double skulls, of course! Reroll, knock him over and the ball falls into the end zone. I run in and pick it up. What do I roll? A 1!!!

My opponent makes a 3+ dodge, 2+ dodge and two GFI and pushes me out of bounds then recovers the ball.

The dice rape continues when my opponent blocks my 174 SPP Blitzer and gets a RIP and the apothecary fails as I the 1s continue for the Falcons.

The Falcons eventually concede the TD 6 turns as there are outnumbered by 1 and spread all over the pitch.

At 2-0 down with 3 turns left to score, the Falcons bring the ball up one side after sending through a couple of receivers, assisted by 2 KOs (mighty blow helped there).

The Dragons dodge a Diving Tackle player onto the Falcons ball carrier. The Falcons send a blitzer at him. 2 dice Push and Skull/Pow. Reroll. Push and Skull/Pow. The Witch hits him. Double Skulls. Of course heh.

The ball falls between two players and the Dragons are unable to get to it.

Final turn for the Falcons. First block. Double skulls! What else would it be? Uses up my reroll for the turn there and then.

Leaves me with a 2+ dodge, 2+ pick up, 2+ GFI (shouldn't have been necessary but I made a mistake), 3+ pass and 2+ catch to score a last gasp TD to gain some respectability.
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This game was a real dice rape. My opponent was a very good coach who played an excellent game, but he was given an incredible amount of assistance by the dice today. I had the snake eyes GFI that lost me the ball and first TD. I had the snake-eyes on the 3+ pass to Valdrek. I had the 1 on a GFI to push his player away from the ball and then a 1 to pick it up. I had a 2 and a 1 to throw a TD pass on turn 8. first half.

Second half, I had 4 dice on his Str5 ball carrier and not a single pow. I had the blitz on his ball carrier and rolled double skulls and then a 1 to pick up the ball and then I was sent out of bounds.

My opponent had some bad luck too with one snake eyes and a couple of 3+ dodges failed, but nowhere near as many as I suffered. Plus the apothecary failure.

Would have been good to have Zakaris reach legend as I have been holding him off from getting more SPP for dozens of games for fear of aging, but not using him to pass or score was crippling and the Blitzer who got 2 spp today got Guard so that is not too bad.

Anyways, I look forward to rematch against Borgen sometime as he was a very good opponent.”