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This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Virus
Doom and Gloom
It Wasn't Me
Palmed Coin
and one other I can't recall

The Horny Elfbowlers started in offence and had some really average blocks. In fact, they did not get over the line of scirmmage! The Falcons pushed forwards and in three turns knocked out a Chaos Warrior and injured two Beastman. The Blowers formed a cage in their own half whilst the Falcons kept attacking and eventually the ball came free and the Falcons were able to get a score.

The Elfbowlers had a hard time with their blocks as they constantly rolled Skull/Pows or the odd push whilst they were down 3 players.

Second half the Falcons started in offence, but fumbled a pass (needing 3+ I rolled snakes). The Elfbowlers make a 2+ dodge, 3+ dodge, 3+ pick up , 2+ dodge to put the ball deep. The Falcons knock it lose and throw it back downfield, but with no rerolls left try one too many GFI and lose a ball that was pretty safe (Str 4 Blodger with no tacklers nearby).

The Elfbowlers recover and cage and when the Falcons double skull then snake a dodge, it is an easy TD for the Blowers who want to stall four turns before scoring but are pressured by too many free Falcons.

The Falcons have 3 turns to score and have a great drive, with 5 blocks yielding a KO Chaos Warrior, two stunned Chaos Warriors and a stunned Beastman! As Slanter said... AV9 anyone?

The Falcons push the ball deep and delay one turn to try and secure the game. The Elfbowlers respond with a mighty turn 7, causing a BH and a SI (-MA). The Falcons score and the Elfbowlers have one turn to try a chain pushback TD with the assistance of two frenzied players.

The Elfbowlers are gifted with a Quicksnap! It is there for the taking, but my opponent may have had a little too much to drink and unfortunately messed up two attempts that would have given him an easy two square push early in the proceedings. With that, the game was over and the Falcons escaped with a victory.
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A fun game against a fun opponent. I had more firepower even with virus (two Mighty Blow still) and I had an incredible start, taking out 3 players early. Was a very tough match actually with his foul appearance and the Str4 Tentacle Warrior being a real nuisance heh.

Was a very close game that might have easily been a draw if not for my awesome blocking luck. Eg second half, causing 3 stuns and a KO from 5 blocks... that opened up the field for me.

Anyways, slanter was a good sporting coach and I look forward to playing him again sometime in the future.

The good news for the Elfbowlers was that their AG4 Tentacle Foul Appearance Chaos Warrior made 76 spp and didn't age. Unfortunately for the Falcons, their oldest player who got an unwanted MVP and got to 176 spp and got himself a niggle. Oh well.”