“XFL Amazons Final.

WARNING - VERY LONG MATCH REPORT. READ ON AT YOUR OWN PERIL

NOTES re replay file and luck meter:

The luck meter is out due to a disconnect on turn 6 first half at which point the luck reading was 58-63 to my opponent's favour. We reloaded several times trying to get the sync to work and when we finally played on, I scored on turn 8 only for it to crash (possibly due to there being a second ball on my opponent's screen due the syncing of game files). As no one was hurt or KO in the final 2-3 turns, it was agreed to reload the DAT file instead from turn 6 (just before the original disconnect) and I walk in a TD on turn 8 as I had just done with no defence by my opponent to replicate the outcome before the crash. So the reloaded game may look funny.
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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps:

Iron Man (on AG4 Mighty Blow Tackle player)
Bone Head (on my AG5 Blodge Tackle Guard Stand Firm Blitzer)
I am the Greatest (Str4 Blodge Tackle Sidestep Catcher vs AG5 Blitzer above)
Can't recall number 4

Both teams had a Wizard. The Babes freebooted a Linewoman and had their star Thrower (AG4 Accurate Strong Arm Blodge Guard) missing the game. Tthe Lingerie Bowl hired Zara and freebooted a Blitzer and a Linewoman and had a good Blitzer out (Blodge Tackle Mighty Blow Guard).

The lineups looked pretty equal though my opponent was sure I would during the beginning stages of the match. The Babes had a lot more Tackle and one more DP, but the Lingerie Bowl had two Mighty Blow Tackle and one with Iron Man. Also one of the Babe Stars would have to sit out all match.
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Well this was a dice rape carnage. The luck was incredible, first one way then the other. A very topsy turvy game. I had bad dice go against me for most of the match then at the crucial stage, they went bad on my opponent and good for me and I escaped with an unlikely win. Certainly a game that DM was likely to win by the way things were going in the second half and he was very very unfortunate not be the winner today.

Full credit to Drunken_Master who is a very sporting coach who was extremely patient with all the reloads and also was happy to play a two part game (I had to bathe and put my kids to bed a few turns in). He is without doubt one of the classiest opponents I know.
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Anyways, the Babes won the crucial coin toss at the start and started in offence.

They were instantly under immense pressure when the Lingerie Bowl got a Perfect Defence and put Guard, Tackle and tackle zons all over the Babes front line.

The Babes had a horrid turn of blocking, getting mainly pushes. They fouled one player but only got a stun.

The Lingerie then had a magic turn. Twice a two dice block without Tackle brought down a blodger, then a one dice blitz on my ball carrier knocked the ball free. To top things off, one of my players was fouled and Badly Hurt with the ref blowing the whilstle but then my opponent successfully argued the call!

The Babes soon had two players KO and were fighting a desperate rearguard action with 8v11. Their Fireball was used early on two DPs and a Mighty Blow Tackle, only causing one player to go down (1.5 is average so not horrid) but not even causing a stun.

Both teams fought for the ball. The Babes recovered it after the one dice blitz, then lost it, then recovered it etc to and fro.

Then the Lingerie Bowl failed a crucial dodge (3+ with RR) with their ball carrier and the ball fell free! The Babes were able to get to free up a path to the ball for their Thrower who had to make a 3+ Dodge (with Dodge skill), 3+ pick up (with Pass skill) to an AG4 NOS Catch Catcher who got the ball and ran to one short of the end zone.

This is where we had the server go down. We reloaded several times trying to not get two balls on the pitch with the INC file, but finally agreed to ignore the spare one and play on.

The Lingerie Bowl sent a player back at the Babes Catcher but she failed a GFI, allowing the Babes to delay another turn. With the Lingerie Bowl wizard in play, the Catcher had to stay within the middle of the pitch to avoid a lightning bolt, which left her in blitz range still of one player who needed a 4+ Dodge (with Dodge skill). The blitz failed to bring the Babes ball carrier down and the Babes scored by pushing the player (a DP) out of bounds and following up but it only caused a stun.

This is where the game crashed. As no one had been KO or worse since turn 6, we agreed to load from there and I would just score that TD and neither team would do any un-necessary actions to hinder that (as per the rules on reloads).

The Lingerie Babes had a one turn drive and they hit the 3 cannon fodder Babes players on the line. Linewoman Evangeline Lilly got niggled and the apothecary failed (I was running low on players so I thought I would go all out to try and keep in the game - but it failed!). Then a foul badly hurt a noob Blitzer but got rid of the last of the Lingerie Bowl dirty players (the first one had been badly hurt earlier).

Second half it was 11 on 11 and the Lingerie Bowl got a quick snap (dang!). It was a brutal turn. The Lingerie Bowl killed the Babes most skilled Linewoman with a block (straight through rolls), then Zara KO'd the Babes freebooted Linewoman thanks to mighty blow on the armour, then a blitz killed another very skilled Babes linewoman thanks again to mighty blow (7 on AV then +1)!

It was 8 vs 11 after one turn!

The Babes had a very ineffectual turn with few knockdowns and they went to foul and KO'd an AG4 Lingerie Bowl Blitzer but got sent off for fouling! I argued the call but got ejected!!! This was really sucking now especially as my opponent had argued the call on his turn 1 foul in the first half heh.

7 vs 10 and looking very sad.

Being outnumbered and crowded by opposing playes with Guard and//or tackle it was getting very difficult for the Babes. A reroll was burned on a one dice block that came up as a skull, then a 3+ dodge was failed and the player was KO!

6 vs 10 and looking tragic.

The Babes were surrounded on their next turn. 1 dice block. Skull, reroll, Push. Then Skull. Another suckful turn ended, but still 6 players left.

The Lingerie Bowl knocked over the 3 standing Babes players and fouled the Babes' last Dirty Player and badly hurt her.

5 vs 10, all Babes prone and looking like a bad nightmare. I now knew how my opponent felt in games 2 and 3!

The Babes get their Str4 Catcher free, then promptly fail a 2+ dodge. This was murder.

The Babes Str4 Catcher (Natalie Portman) with some overdue luck managed to survive 4 dice of Mighty Blow Tackle hits and was still standing.

The Babes got a couple of players standing, but Natalie Portman failed her 4+ dodge and burnt another team RR (leaving 2?).

The Lingerie Bowl possibly made a mistake here. Instead of caging the ball carrier, they sent a lot of players back towards the line of scrimmage to blitz the Babes' Mighty Blow Blitzer. This allowed the Babes to get 3 players within blitz range of the Lingerie Bowl's ball carrier.

Natalie Portman survived a 2 dice blitz and due to the impending blitz on the ball carrier (would need a one dice Pow or a could use Tackle with an assist if I made some dodges) the Lingerie Bowl scored on turn 6 giving the Babes an unlikely 2 turns to score.

Both Babes players in the KO box were still snoozing so it was 5 vs 11!!! Note, I am the Greatest handicap does not work on reloads so I put Natalie Portman in the corner of my end zone and said she was out of play and fielded the AG5 Catherine Bell for the first time on the line.

The Babes had a despeate plan that might work - running down the sideline with a 3 player cage with Catherine Bell holding the ball in the hope she could dodge a lightning bolt!

Then the Babes had an absolutely amazingly lucky turn. First they injured a player with a block to help free up a gap in the packed LOS. Then they blitzed through with Catherine Bell who made her Bone Head check and a GFI.

The Babes Thrower picked up the ball and made a 4+ pass to Amanda Peet (AG4 sidestep Catcher) who failed her first GFI and used a team RR to stay standing, then handed off to Catherine Bell (2+).

Catherine bell was exposed so the next bit was the most crucial. The last Babes player made a 3+ dodge (no Dodge or team reroll) and then a GFI to close the cage!

Now hope and pray the fireball or lightning bolt keep all the players standing...

Unfortunately, the long game (taken several hours due to an interulde and then several reloads) had affected my opponent's concentration and he forgot the wizard. Very unfortunate for my opponent.

The Lingerie Bowl then had a critical bit of bad luck that left the door open for the Babes. They stunned one corner of the cage and sent Zara the Slayer back to lay more tackle zones down the sideline path for Catherine Bell. 2 GFI required, one failed and a team RR used. Another player tried to run in to lay further tackle zones but failed her first GFI and fell over in a square that blocked up a free square.

Bell could run down the sideline needing 2+ IBone Head), three 3+ Dodges (no Dodge RR but a team RR) and then three 2+ dodges (the first would have n Dodge RR). Or another path could be opened if the remaining corner of the cage could make a 4+ Dodge (with Dodge RR) and blitz one of the Lingerie Bowl players away. The dodge was made (75% chance but by no means guaranteeed) and the required push came up.

Catherine Bell then made three 2+ rolls (Bone Head, then 2 dodges) to steal an unlikely turn 8 victory.
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An amazing up and down game. The Babes were out of it for most of the match as they were getting out hit and out fouled in the first half. The Perfect Defence was a killer and then the early blocks by the Lingerie Bowl put the Babes under extreme pressure. The ball was in a couple of hard to get spots, though the Babes got it back once with a 4+ pick up, but then fumbled the pass.

It was the fortuitous failed dodge by the ball carrier that gave the Babes an unlikely early 1-0 lead. There was no justice in that play, as my opponent failed a 3+ with RR, only to have me make a string of 3+s (dodge, pick up, pass) and 2+s to put the ball pretty much out of reach.

Then the apothecary failing at the end of the first half, followed by two RIP and a KO to start the second half. The game looked over. My opponent would score once and then go into overtime with a vast player and RR advantage.

It certainly looked that way for most of the second half as I accumulated skulls and 1s and got more and more players KO or hurt.

My opponent focused on hitting my players only had one companion with the ball carrier and this allowed me to apply some pressure and force a turn 6 score, though I had to survive a 2 dice blitz first to pose a really big threat.

That opening gave me the 2 turns I needed to try and win and avoid overtime. I then had the most amazing set of rolls, getting everything I needed over the two turns to steal the win, thanks to my opponent who was undertandably not at his full concentration given all the reloads etc.

The better team won today, but not necessarily the better coach. I got spooked early and used the wizard in a lame situation which was very poor. My opponent played a faultless game apart from not leaving enough players to protect the ball carrier (but who would think 5-7 Zons vs 11 would score, right?) and forgetting the Wizard.

Certainly I would not have complained if we went to overime and Drunken_Master got a very likely victory - 11-12 vs 5-7 players with 4 or 5 RR vs 2.

Anyways, it was an epic encounter and I had a lot of fun against a very good opponent even when he was killing my players and fouling me when I had no apothecary - it is a tournament after all.

Drunken_Master, if you are reading this report, I appreciate you were robbed at the end and if you had been victorious, you would be quite elated and write your own long (or at least longer) match report.

You are a great opponent so please don't take my long report as gloating or rubbing it in as it was some extreme luck and you being distracted due to the long game that got me over the line at the end.

Catch you around and I wish you success with your other teams in the future.








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