“In a first half with little excitement the Angels managed to grind out a 1-0 lead, which wasn't too daunting due to the proven scoring ability of the Barmy Army.

With minutes to go in the first half Squint-Eyes threw the ball as aimlessly as usual, bouncing it off the intended receiver's head and wasting a chance to equalise. Undaunted by this "Old Squinty" (as the rookie players call him) strode into the second half like a god amongst men and, having avoided the attentions of some of the opposition's more homicidal players whilst waiting for his team mates to get into position, found the perfect pass. As was to be expected, however, the old fool had mistaken a surly Elf lineman for the exceptionally handsome, glamourous and talented catcher/team owner/team top scorer DeFresa. As Squint-Eyes celebrated a rare completed pass of more than 2 feet, Harshael showed him the correct way to throw the ball (i.e. to your team-mate) as Herald of Angels scored a quick conter-attacking touchdown.

"King" Defresa managed to score a consolation TD with the clock ticking down when Grog finally realised that the ball in his hand had uses in the game other than being mashed into the nearest Elf's face. And finally, to add salt to the wound a Herald of Angels obsessed official handed Squint-Eyes the MVP award. Coincidentally (or not) it was also Ringo The Unlucky's first game for the Army, maybe he wasn't such an intelligent signing.......”