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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Virus
Greatest (no effect as one of the players was virused!)
Get the Ref2
Bad Press?
It Wasn't Me

The Falcons had a player MNG from their previous match, and thus had 12 for the match.
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This was a fun but crazy game against a fun coach. First half, I had the most horrid luck with the dice and was down 0-2. Second half, the horrid luck went to my opponent and I had the good luck.

The Falcons started in offence, and silly me, I did not check who the second Greatest player was and just sat out my Str4 Blodge Sidestep guy out. The other Greatest was Valdrek who was virused after Greatest was rolled!

Anyways, the Falcons played a bit muddled to start, getting two players through as potential scorers, but inexplicably opening their cage a little (no idea why I did that!).

The Torment made a 3+ dodge (AG5 and Dodge skill) to get a one dice blitz on the Falcons thrower and got a Pow, a 2+ pickup, 2x 2+ Dodges and 2x GFI to take the ball to the other side of a Witch Elf team mate. To top things off, the Falcons Thrower was KOd.

No problems I thought. First I just need a push on the witch and I have guard next to the ball carrier so I can blitz him. Block is Skull + Skull/Pow so no push.

I only have one player not in a tackle zone who I intended to use to throw the ball, so I dodged another Witch in to set up a blitz with my Blitzer who had Tackle. Snakes! Falcons turn was 1,2,1,1.

Easy score for the Torment.

Falcons try again on their next drive. They get a lucky casualty to reduce the Torment to 11 fit players, then burn a RR on a blitz move to create a hole.

With no RR, a 1 is rolled to pick the ball up (of course!).

The Torment then KO a player, and then without a RR, make two GFI, a 2+ pickup, 4+ pass and 2+ catch. Come on Nuffle, I make one out of three 2+ rolls on turns 2 and 3 and my opponent makes all the important rolls without RRs.... I was getting owned heh.

Soon it was 2-0 to the Torment, and the Falcons were feeling very very tormented.

On offence, Celine Bloodrogy got another casualty on the LOS. Straight through again with no damage mods with the second block of the drive, just like the last drive!

The Falcons KO'd another Torment player and then formed a cage near the line of scimmage with 3 players deep as potential scorers.

The Torment tried sending in their AG5 Blitzer again, but he failed his 4+ dodge and stunned himself. The Falcons did a one dice block hoping to get a push to free up the cage. A Skull!!! Of course... rerolled into a POW. Huzzah!

The Falcons do some more 2 dice blocks around the place to help limit the chance of the ball being stolen. Their Thrower advanced to do an easy 2+ Pass with a pass reroll. Snake-eyes!!!! You have got to be kidding me!!!

The Torment blizted the Falcons Thrower and stunned him, knocking the ball free. A team reroll was used to pick up the ball, and then a Torment player rolled a Skull to end the turn with 2 player still down.

The Falcons got a friendly Pow on one of two dice on the Torment Str4 Blodge Tackle player and mighty blow changed the 7 to an 8 and a KO to leave the Torment with 8 on the pitch.

The Falcons hit the Torment ball carrier with their own Str4 Blodge Tackler and knocked him over. The ball was scooped up and the Falcons were finally on the scoreboard!

At this point, Kalif's girlfriend came home and he had to hurry up the match, and my wife started getting annoyed at me playing javabowl yet again so the turns became very quick.

Two turns left to score and the Torment roll snake eyes on the catch ball attempt!

A very very fast turn.

The Falcons snake-eye a GFI to block off a Pass Blocker (I wanted to try a pass with the Witch Elf who could get to the ball in the Torment backfield. Snakes galore!

The Torment got their pass and didn't do any Turn 8 blocks, assumably because Kalif was under pressure to get off the PC.

Second half, the Torment start in offence. The try to do a backfield pass (got a Blitzer they are trying to skill up) and get Snakes on the catch!

Snakes galore! However, it is Kalif getting them now, not me heh.

The Torment turn started with great luck, then finished with very bad luck.

With one Dauntless player, they got a Pow on two dice against a blodger. Then the critical blitz to move a Str 4 Blodge Tackle Sidestepper who had a tackle zone on both the ball and the Torment Thrower. Dauntless worked but didn't knock my plaer over and a team RR was used again not knocking my player over. The Falcons player sidestepped to a place where it would be 2 dice my choice, but my opponent rolled a 1 on the mandatory GFI to do the follow up Frenzy hit. Rough luck there.

The Falcons were able to get to the ball easily and score to tie the game at 2-2.

The Torment drive started with one player blitzing through to the Falcons backfield, then a quick pss was again fumbbled in the backfield!!! Snakes again for my opponent. Very very unfair.

The Falcons instead of blitzing the penetrating player tried to attack the Torment backfield. The Torment were able to blitz away one of the three tackle zones on their (AG5) scorer, then throw a 4+ Long Bomb (with Pass reroll) make a 3+ catch and then make a 2+ Dodge to tkae the lead again.

The Falcons drive started the same way as two earlier ones - Celine Bloodorgy with their second block of the turn causing a badly hurt without needing any damage modifiers! The Torment were down to 9 now.

The Falcons could only get one player into scoring range and caged the ball near the line of scrimmage.

The Torment attacked the cage strongly, putting Diving Tackle + Tackle on the Falcons ball handler and two tackle zones on their one player in scoring range.

The Falcons pushed away one guard, which set up a two dice hit with Frenzy on the Diving Tackle Torment player which freed the Falcons ball carrier.

Two 2+ rolls (dodge and GFI) allowed the Falcons Blitzer to blitz his way to the end zone with a GFI. The ball was handed off to the Falcons AG5 Leaper who leaped and ran his way to short pass range (and too far from the Torment pass blocker) to set up the tying score.

A bit of nice luck for me there. Needed the one dice push and then a few 2+s after that.

The scores were 3-3 with 3 turns to go.

The Torment made another backfied pass at last (HURRAY!) and sent one player deep (AG5 again) with their witch just inside over the line of scimmage (no team RR this turn so not risking a dodge I guess, or being harrassed by his girlfriend to play super fast!).

The Falcons knocked over the interloper in their backfield and sent one player downfield themselves.

The Torment then had another horrid turn. They got the ball to their Witch Elf on the wing, but then their Blitzer failed a GFI (with no Reroll or snakes) and stunned himself one short of the endzone! Turn 7 and no players in range to score!

The Falcons then again had all the dice magic. A 2+ dodge (a 1 first then rerolled) put a tackle zone on the Torment ball carrier. With no RR left, the Falcons did 2 GFI to blitz the Witch, knocking her down. The Witch sidestepped the LOS (and towards my Thrower) instead of towards their own endzone, possibly for fear that my Lineman would go and pick it up (but where would he go after that?!?!).

The ball bounced around and scattered perfectly, landing where the Falcons Thrower made a 2+ pick up, 3+ pass (with Pass reroll) to the Lineman in scoring range who made a 2+ catch and two GFI without team RR to steal a 4-3 victory.

Torment had to go and he just did his pass on Turn 8 and safe with 2 cas and 2 TD and a win and the ball out of reach, the game ended there.
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Was a fun game against a fun sporting opponent.

First part of the game I had the most horrid horrid luck. Players KO and snakes galore. Then I started doing some lucky cas without damage modifiers and my opponent rolled far far more 1s and double 1s than I did allowing me to steal the ball and score on defence twice in the second half.

I was by far the luckier coach today as the teams were pretty equal with Valdrek and another Str4 with a virus, a lineman out with It Wasn't Me and very good Blitzer missing the game.

Looking forward to playing Kalif again in the future as he was a fun opponent.



The Torment started in offence and got an easy score.

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