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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Bad Press
Iron Man
Smelling Salts
Doom and Gloom
something else that was minor

The Falcons entered the match with 3 MNG
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Well this was a mostly fun game against a fun coach. The crappy dice rolls were funny till the post match sequence when an unwanted MVP went on a Str4 Blitzer on 75 SPP and he niggled. That ruined the evening.

The match itself, I had no chance.

The Laureates started in offence and had a snakes pass, but it was in a cage and safe, so a score was not that difficult.

The Falcons drive, a snakes on the ball pickup. Laureates steal the ball. The Falcons set up a two dicer on the ball carrier. Snake eyes on the GFI and I MNG my Witch Elf. Two snake eyes in two turns to lose the ball and concede the TD.

Next drive, Falcons setup badly, with wrong thrower in the backfield. Need a 4+ pass with pass reroll (so a fairly good 75% chance as I chose not to GFI twice with all my crud rolls to date) and the pass went wild, and the Laureates scored again to take a 3-0 lead.

So down 3-0. With limited RR left and nothing working in the previous turns, the Falcons tried a 3+ long bomb score to score. Just need two dodges to get into range. 1. Rerolled. Second dodge another 1. No score.

Second half the Laureates have some bad luck to cough up the ball after the Falcons finally get on the scoreboard off their own posession. My opponent was distracted and didnt protect the ball well. The Falcons steal the ball and score.

3-2, Laureates ahead.

The Falcons apply some pressure again after the Laureates again bring the ball forwards.

The Falcons have a blitz on the ball carrier with 2 dice. No pows or dodge/pows. Reroll, double skulls. The fourth snakes/double skulls on a critical play (there was another earlier that was costly that I hadn't mentioned previously).

The Laureates with no RR pass the ball instead of scoring, and deny the Falcons a turn 8 pass. The Falcons set up a two dicer on the ball carrier, and four dice do not net a pow. The Laureates blitz dodge to a 4-2 score.
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As I said, the game was quite fun despite the one sided dice. My opponent didn't play his best game, being distracted a couple of times, but my dice sucked and there was only one critical turnover I capitalised on, wherease my opponent scored on my bad rolls every time. At turn 4 second half, the luck reading was 49 me, 69 my opponent. It was only some very crappy blocks on the line of scrimmage and then some other below average rolls that brought the final luck results closer, but most of the damage had been done by then, and my final double skulls took away the small chance I had left to draw.

Then the post match sequence gave me a niggle to ruin the evening. Last Str4 player on the Falcons niggled. Just 2 months ago, there were 5 Str 4 blodgers on the Falcons, and only 2 were niggled. Now there are only 3 and all are niggled.

Falcons fast becoming a burden more than fun...

Anyways, enough of my moping, Malitrius had fun and he is one of the coaches I enjoy playing around here so good for him on the win and no permanent injuries :)”