“WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Bad Press
Illegal Drugs (+Str to a Blitzer with Block, Dodge, Tackle, Diving Tackle, Sidestep)
Palmed Coin
Bribe the Ref2
Doom and Gloom

The Falcons made all 3 niggle rolls and had a full team!
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A rematch after a close game that went the Falcons way last time around.

Once again, the match started in muddy conditions.

The Dreams had some horrid starting blocks (double skull, rerolled to Skull + Skull/Pow) before pushing forward, but not far. The Falcons applied the pressure and knocked the ball free, but the scatter was nice falling near a couple of Dream players. Valdrek Blood Gaze tried a couple of difficult dodges, making the first, but then failing the second (maybe failed the GFI) and KOd himself. The Dreams were able to recover the ball and swing it wide before being forced to score.

The Falcons lined up on offence only to face a Blitz! The Dreams pushed though causing a niggle (apothed) and the ball scattered nicely between two players, one of whom was a Str4 Blodge Tackle Sidestep Diving Tackle guy!

The Falcons pushed one player away from the ball, then burnt a reroll on the 3+ ball pick up and threw the ball to a Str4 player on the wings who made his 3+ dodge and ran downfield.

The Dreams again made a heap of dodges and GFI and got a two dice blitz on the Falcons ball carrier, but 4 dice did not yield the Pow or Dodge/Pow and the Falcons still had the ball! A nice bit of luck for the Falcons there, but then there were extremely unlucky to have to face a Blitz!

The Falcons decided to delay scoring a turn and copped a foul on a Blitzer, ending his match (Badly Hurt). The Falcons used a team RR on their blocks, and thus chose not to hand off to the 49 SPP lino in the endzone (you know it would have been a 1!) and ran in the score instead with their niggled Bltzer.

The Dreams had two turns to reply. Their blocks on the line of scrimmage were very poor (but then, the Dream only had one tackler on the line) and a one dice blitz on the wing did not open up a gap. The Dreams sent one Witch doding through deep into Falcons territory where she fell on a failed GFI. As she could still score, the Falcons sent 6 players in and fouled her (KO) to ensure a 1-1 half.

Second half, the Falcons were in offence and the weather changed from pouring rain to a blizzard! Put off by the sudden change in conditions, the Falcons started with some pathetic blocks, pushing one player all the way uptowards the sideline and only getting one one player deep. However, they caused a niggling injury on the Dreams kicker (apoth) so both teams were now without an Apothecary.

The Dreams put 2 tackle zones on the Falcons AG5 leaper (so needing a 3+ to catch) and blitzed a Falcons witch over and fouled her with Dirty Player (+4/+2) but only caused a stun. Luckily for the Falcons though, he was spotted (a 6!) and this used up Bribe the Ref.

The Falcons pushed forwards and Valdrek killed a Dreams Blitzer with his blitz (Sinner thought it was all 6s, but the replay shows 2,6 +1 for armour roll, then 6,6 for injury, and 6 for casualty type - so 2,6,6,6,6) and set up a cage on the sideline.

The Dreams blitzed the Falcons AG5 lineman needing Pow, Skull/Pow, or Dodge/Pow on any of four dice (2 dice blitz, team reroll used) but he was still standing at the end! Awesome luck for the Falcons (1 in 16 chance).

The Dreams Dirty Player fouled again, and this time caused a KO on the Falcons Witch, but was sent off (another 6 heh, htough only 4+ needed). Another break for the Falcons. The Falcons scored to take a 2-1 lead.

The Dreams lined up in offence and had their own set of horrid blocks, causing no knockdowns anywhere and they caged the ball just behind the line of scrimmage.

The Falcons attacked on both sides, but their Blitz also failed to bring a knockdown despite using a team RR (on a Thrower without Block or Dodge, just like my AG5 Lineman who survived 4 dice before so that was fair heh).

The Dreams then set up a 2 dice blitz on Valdrek hoping to take out one of the most infamous players on FUMBBL. The dodges were made, but four dice failed to yield a Pow or Dodge/Pow and the Dreams were in trouble with their whole team pretty much in Falcons tackle zones and it was free blocks everywhere.

In the space of two blocks, the Falcons caused two nasty injuries. First a -AV on a Dreams lineman, then death on the Dreams star Thrower! Both hits were without mighty blow, just high rolling dice! To top it off, the the Dreams Str4 player was KOd leaving them 3 down. The Falcons left their kicker in a precaroius position - near the sidelines and an easy OOB but they had the Dreams all bunched up and didn't mind the Dreams committing two players to this.

Sure enough the Dreams pushed the Falcons kicker out, but then they had some horrid luck with their ball carrier snaking a dodge and dropping the ball! So much for AG6! In between the start of one Falcons turn to another, it suddenly went from 11 vs 11 to 10 vs 7!

The ball was on the sidelines and the Falcons could have pushed a Dreams player out of bounds, but chose to knock him over and leave a player free. With such superior numbers the Falcons advanced the ball, then screened it to set up scoring with another player, using a couple of chain pushbacks to get the nominated scorer one closer to the end zone (so he didn't have to GFI in the blitzzard) and out of a Dreams tackle zone.

The Falcons showed some mercy by not taking a Pow and not blocking with Valdrek heh.

The Dreams with no reroll left managed to get one knockdowns on their final turn and then a double skulls to finish the match - very fitting considering Sinner's luck this match.
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Was a fun game, though very fustrating for both of us on opening blocks at the start of a few drives.

Whilst we both had some horror luck, it is clear that Sinner had the worse luck overall. I copped a blitz, but managed to recover and score. Sinner had the 6 on the first foul in the second half to use up his handicap, then a 4+ on his next foul to take his Dirty Player out of the equation. +4/+2 on my Witch twice for a Stun and a KO.

Then the horrid second half on offence where no knockdowns for two turns, followed by my blocks from hell, netting a -AV, a RIP and a KO, which was then followed by Sinner snaking a dodge with his ball carrier and KOing another player. This followed my offensive drive where I got a RIP on one of hs only two tacklers. The four cas I did were a niggle, -AV and two RIP. Super cruel and unlucky. Anyway, those few critical turns left Sinner with a 7 vs 10 disadvantage and the ball close enough for me to steal and it was game over.

Some average blocking luck would have seen Sinner have a couple of potential scorers in my half and the ball protected and him playing to tie up the match either late in the game to ensure a draw, or as quick as possible to try and get a turnover and win. However, this opportunity never arose due to his two turns of horrid blocking and then my turn from hell.

Anyways, Sinner played a good game and competed hard to the end and I wish his team a speedy recovery. Full credit to Sinner who played with minimal whining with the horrid dice a couple of key points in the game, and also for taking on my team with the expectation of delivering me a tight contest for the victory.

As I used to say some 2 years ago, next time Sinner, next time! Heh.
”