“A succesful start to the preseason for the Emperors Arms teams, things initally looked bleak when half the team left the pitch early in the game complaining of hang overs, but the resident 'pro' Raggie Raines took things into his own hands and ran in a solo touchdown.

In the second half a not small amount of money was slipped to the match officials switching the Signs half time orange juice with Dwarven "wicked Strength" export lager, resulting in the unlucky eam being unable to focus clearly on the ball, leading to several stubbling attempts to pick it up during the game and resulting in them being unable to score the equaliser”