“The Blood Falcons in this game, gave away their 1000th Handicap!
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This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

It Wasn't Me (on 32 SPP Blodge Tackle Lino)
Iron Man (on his Block Tackle Sidestep Witch)
Knuckledusters (on same Witch)
Smelling Salts
Duh Where Am I (on my Block Tackle Mighty Blow Dauntless Witch)

Both teams made all niggle rolls (2 for the Falcons, 3 for the Bitter Elves)
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The Falcons started on offence and with some ordinary blocks, only managed to get one player deep. This player was promptly knocked out forcing the Falcons to regroup and re-organise their offence.

Unfortunately for the Bitter Elves, this came at a cost of a very early (turn 1?) death of one of their players who was already niggled so the apothecary was not used.

The Bitter Elves soon KO'd a second Falcons player to have a one man advantage and two ones in three rolls left the ball exposed (a one on a dodge using a Team Reroll and then another one on the hand off).

The Bitter Elves swooped on the ball and threatened a score, but the Falcons pulled off a string of nice rolls to score instead - a 2+ dodge (failed using a Team Reroll) then a 2 dice Blitz, then a pair of 2+ dodges with their AG6 Thrower to land on the ball, a 2+ pick up, 2+ dodge, a 2+ pass (with pass reroll) and a 2+ catch.

A lucky turn around, though the Falcons were unlucky to lose the ball in the first place.

With 3 turns to score a reply (a turn was lost due to Injury Time to start the game) the Bitter Elves were semi-confident they had enough time, but then a gamebreaker - Blitz!

To add insult to injury, the Bitter Elves had their Dirty Player killed as he was blitzed to get the Falcons players through to the ball. The Falcons caught the ball and threatened a second TD.

The Bitter Elves applied some pressure but the Falcons were able to break loose with their Witch. She needed to just make one GFI to be too far from any Tacklers, but snake-eyes! Not only snakes, she KOs herself too LOL.

The Bitter Elves pull back and knock over the Falcon player closest to the ball, but the Falcons pull off another nice set of 2+ rolls to dodge leap GFI their way to the ball with an AG5 player who then throws a 2+ pass to another player who had made a 2+ dodge to get to the end zone.

The Bitter Elves started the second half in offence, but were soon down 3-0 as they had yet more ordinary rolls and the Falcons applied the defensive pressure to set up a steal.

The next drive was similar and the Bitter Elves were down 4-0 as they could not pull together a decent string of rolls, whilst the Falcons never failed a crucial roll that they did not then recover from soon after.

In fact, the Bitter Elves might not have scored at all if the Falcons had not been greedy going for a 5th TD (without team RR) when they could have instead put pressure on the loose ball. Instead they recovered it and threw it to a player on his own who dropped the catch and was easily blitzed to give the Bitter Elves an easy pick up and pass.
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What an unlucky game for Ele who is a very good coach who didn't deserve what I think was a dice-rape. Nothing he did for the first 14 turns or so worked. Well, he got some passes and some players deep, but was not able to string the plays together, with something failing along the way repeatedly.

He was also super unlucky to suffer 0/1/2 in casualties very early in the game, with 2 of those being straight through rolls (no modifiers). He failed a lot of important 2+ rolls whereas I made most of mine (with the exception of about turn 4 where I dropped the ball handing off to my AG6 Thrower, and later my snakes on a GFI with my Witch who KO'ed herseof, but in both instances, I then had the rolls to recover and score).

There really was nothing much that Ele could do today with the dice heavily stacked in my favour. Despite the crapfest, Ele put on a brave face and kept did not overly whine about his luck and was a great sport. I wish his team a great recovery and some good luck in the future.

Post match, my Witch who started with 14 SPP got Tackle, and my Blodge Sidestep -MA Blitzer who started on 30 got +AG. Ele got +Str on a 15 SPP Lino with +AG/-AG. XFL Dark Evles, here we come!
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