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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Handicaps were:

Virus
Illegal Drugs
Duh Where Am I
Extra Training
Bribe the Ref2
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This was a total dice rape all there is to it.

Started in offence, but a string of 1s and snake eyes had me losing the ball whilst my opponent made countless 3+s, Long Passes etc. He finished the half with 82% luck. I was down 0-3 at the end of the half.

Second half, more snake eyes and 1s to keep the game the same.

Got a Blitz but it was way too late, especially with Injury Time to start the half.

To top this farce off, my only player to skill, a Str4 Block Lino age niggles at 31 SPP. What a total waste of 90 minutes of my life.

Opponent certainly played well, but the dice decided this game in the first half and both my TDs required a bit of luck (at least one 3+) whereas his just needed my snake eyes over and over. I exaggerate, he also made a lot of 3+ rolls where I could not make 2s.

Very annoyed with this game at the moment, but am happy at least to have been beaten by a sporting coach who I have a friendly rivalry with at least.”