“The Dead Chess Masters entered this match against the Men in Pink? Jeesh, they aren't even Men? What kind of team is this? Let's get it on!

The opening kickoff was twice fumbled by Mikhail Botvinnik, but the Mummies held the line solid, and he eventually captured the bouncing ball. Alekhine and Lasker opened a gap in the right side of the line, and Botvinnik dashed through for the first score. There was insufficient time for the Men in Pink to score before the half.

In the second half, Siegbert Tarrasch got things going by outright killing orc lineman Oblixs. Oblixs promptly stood back up, and headed to the bench to change uniforms and play for his new team! Meanwhile, poor orc blocking up front allowed Mikhail Botvinnik into the backfield, where he beat Thrower Busa Bullseye to the ball and scored his second touchdown.

The next drive started with Bullseye completing a quick pass to Idefixs, who drove through a hole in the center of the Chess Masters' line. Right into the trap, triple teamed and crushed by Aron Nimzovich; Botvinnik again gaining the ball. Once again, strong blocking from the Chess Masters allowed Botvinnik to score easily, and the game ended 3-0.

As always, the players voted on the MVP for the game. Not surprisingly, Mikhail Tal got 7 votes for his 3 touchdown and a completed pass performance, and 5 votes went to Siegbert Tarrasch for annhilating Oblixs, the orc lineman. Oblixs, having joined the Dead Chess Masters during the game and never actually reaching the field wearing a Chess Masters jersey, received 173 votes, and thus was the runaway MVP winner. Perhaps more controversial is Oblixs' alledged chess knowledge, or perhaps his lack thereof. A challenge tournament has been organized forthwith to determine if Oblixs is worthy to be on the Dead Chess Masters. Results to be posted!”