“The game started on a bright point, quite literally, with the sun blazing down both side suffered in the heat throughout the game.

Early reports showed that the Cheese had taunted Bodanteal by flying over the Dash's dugout on their Girocopters, dumping bags of wood chippings. However this soon worked to ill effect by the treeman getting him worked out into a frenzy!

The game started with the Tastic kicking off, however the elves soon took advantage of the dwarfs roasting in there armour with early blocks flattening the front line of the Tastic, and a catcher running around the side, sneakly making use of the harsh sun in the dwarves eyes.

The first block of the tastic soon ended in disaster with the lineman finding out how 'wooden' and elf can be, finding himself flat on his back, rumours of post match drug testing are rif, but at this time nothing has been reported.

With the pitch wide open due to some sloppy defending the deadlock was almost instaniously broken with Keelian throwing the perfect weighted pass to Tautologon who had an open pitch on which to stroll through over the Touch line, Dash 1, Tastic 0

The game restarted with the Tastc a man down, Terry was quite litreally cooking in his suit, it was all stadium security could do from keeping the local halfings taking him off to use in their next stew.

The two teams set up in standard formations, the Tastic willing to drive up the pitch through pure brute strenght, the Dash just wanting to survive to half time without having anyone killed! However the Dash who spies had been watching the Tastic over the last few weeks instanly reconised the Tastics play and reset to cause maxmium problems. The treeman especially seemed overly quick to establish himself as the stake through which the Dash could stab through the Tastics heart.

The Dash seemed satisfied to obsorb the early drive from the dash, and inturn rushed through what little gaps was present, and do a daring tackle on Runny Cheese who lost the ball far too easily, (afterwards he was complaining of sweaty hands and a slippery ball) and was horrified to watch the ball bounch harmlessly into the arms of Dash Lineman, Fertuant.

However Ron Emmental whos legs the ball had bounced through, more than made up for this lasp in concentration my showing what dwarves are made of, by stunning Fertuant, fellow players heard that he hadnt even seen the fist coming, and in a turn of luck the ball bounced harmlessly in to the arms of the waiting Roquefort who with the rest of the team making a hole for him to run through began his long trudge up the pitch. The only thorn in the side of the Tastic was to be Bodanteal who in a fit of rage smashed his way through the flanks of the stout dwarves.

Thinking himself safe Ronald slowed down in his pace (well began to walk, what more do you expect from a Dwarf?) However this proved to be costly with both Orkanhime and Huzim easily catching him up, and blitzing the runner to the ground, and Huzim collecting up the fallen ball. However with some ruff tackles (many a female in the crowd fainted at the sight) in the middle of the pitch taking down the stern elves, Egbert and Sydney were free to backup their fallen runner. However it was not needed, with a mutter and a angry growl the plucky Ronald (although underhanded) delt a swift blow to Huzim,s lunchbox, laughing as the elf crumpled like a piece of tissue paper scooped up the ball and jogged to the touch line leveling the score!!!

The game restarted with more players complaining about the heat, although many a Tastic fan felt that the Dash were simply 'scared'. With just moments before the half time whistle the Tastic went for a defencive play with just three players on the line, and with 4 players short, the remaing set themselves up half way down the pitch. However with grumbles about the sun in there eyes, the Tastic simple stood about blinded as with the final moments of the half Almaniat simple strolling over to score the Dash's second TD of the the game.

The second half began badly for the Tastic, clearly too much Bugmans had been passed around the dugout during the interval, a short kick and a over zelious Runny Cheese falling over his own shoe laces left the Tastic very unprepared. The ball left out in the open meant that the favour was very much in the Dashes terms. Howver it proved to nothing, with the raging Treeman, being taunted by the Tastic fans, making numorus chainsword noices tried to to silence his critics by dashing forwad towards the ball, however the Tastic fans had a plan up there sleves, in one action, every dwarf in the crowd as one rasied there axes, with the strong sunlight the pitch turned into glittering disco ball of light spots, many of them directed at the treemans eyes, blinded by the light, and with his recent spring growth, Bodanteal found himself tripping on his own dangling branches, and down he went to a mighty cheer by the Tastic fans.

The game looked to be in the hands of the Tastic, Elf after elf felt the tang of dwarf metal, a quite brutal tackle by Sydney Parmesan saw Phalanat brushed into the fans, who took much glee in seriosuly injuring the elf by breaking his jaw.

However it was not long before the enraged treeman found his roots and easily brushed aside the young Runny who was carrying the ball, making awkward wooden scretches and creeking noises as he watched it harmlessly bouncing under his legs and into the middle of an dwarve pack. However this was the moment Mungle had been waiting for, with a leap, much like a gangly frog he bounded over Dave 'Toasted' Cheese, catching the ball mid leap, landing on his feet and in one swift movment attempting to pass to his fellow wardancer. However this was too much for the artistic elf, and watched as the ball harmlessly bounced off the head of Terry Camember de Normandie, back into his hands. However the display of acrobatics must of been too much for the dwarves with Smegma Cheese just falling overhimself as he tried to reach the elf.

The gap made by the foolish dwarf meant it wasnt too much for Mungle to simply sidestep out of the dwarven crush and this time complete his pass to Orkanhime who in turn went on to score the Dash's third TD.

The Tastic took the break of play to discuss much needed tactics amongst themselves, however unbeknown to the Tastic, there team talk was being over heard by the very grass they were resting apon, being reported back to the Dash's dugout by a series of chinese whispers blade of grass to blade of grass. However the sun finally played into the hands of the tastic, with two of the puny elfs fainting in the heat, for the first time in the game, the dwaves had more players on the pitch than the elves.

The play began with an aggresive drive by the Tastic whos players all dashed (well waddled) up the pitch to either block or cancel the elfs. Mosher Chedder made himself the new fans favorite with a quite crunching tackle on the big tree that was Bodanteal, with a huge 'TIMBER' from the crowd, down the tree went! This must have scared the big tree as it soon rooted itself to the spot for the remainder of the game. With Runny Cheese on the ball there seemed time for the Tastic to save the game.

However once again swift movment of the elves ended up again with Runny on his back and ball loose on the pitch, and with some swift tackles the dwarves found themselves on the defencive.

By now the dwaven crowd was getting restless, with only one elf injured (and that done by the crowd themselves) heckling began to rain down on the Cheese Tastic, not wanting to dishonner there clans and families the Tastic spurred into motion and series of blows and crunching tackles saw two elves KO'd on the pitch two badly hurt, however at each tackle the ball always seemed to be out of reach of the Tastic, and even though they reduced the Rush to four players (YES ONLY FOUR REMAINED ON THE PITCH) they were unable to Score.

The fans promtly rioted demanding there money back, and again after another quite brillaiant game saw the Tastic being unpaid.

Post the game the Dwarven coach was heard to be shoutng about proformancing enhancing drugs and raving that he demanded a rematch.

If he gets one remainds to be seen.”