“Hello fans and welcome to the 1st Annual GNBBL tournament classic. As
a special treat for this game, our regular announcing staff have
turned over reins to the broadcast booth to some local celebrities,
dedicated fans and defenders of the Empire. Take it away gentlemen.

Lucius: Well, it's a beautiful day for Bloodbowl isn't it?
Ferdinand: It's pouring rain.
Lucius: Yes. Well…it's still….
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Ferdinand: Yes, exactly. The Vorticies are a little banged up coming
into this game. They're fielding 10 with Elle Macpherson on the
bench. The kick is lofted high to the far sideline of the Miner's zone.
Lucius: It'll take some time to retrieve THAT ball.
Ferdinand: His Will! Did you see that?!
Lucius: See what?
Ferdinand: A fan in the third row chucked some granite at the players
and took out linewoman Brook Burke
Lucius: Wait, there are women linemen?
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Ferdinand: The whole Vorticie team is women, Lucius. [disgusted
look] The Miner's QB runs back to pick up the ball while the rest of
the team works to hold the line. On the far sideline, Carmen Electra
splits the defenders and streaks into the Miner's zone. Two Miners
struggle to intercept and miraculously manage to trip Carmen and shake
her up. What a bad break -- that's gotta hurt! With Carmen out of
the game, the Miners cage up along the far sideline and cross the line
of scrimmage. There's some near sideline action – it looks like the
Vorticies are teaming up on the Trollslayer and have knocked him down.
And they knocked him down again. Aaaaaand again.
Lucius: They must not like him much.
Ferdinand: The Miners are moving slowly upfield. EMPEROR'S BREATH!
Halle Berry just came sailing from crossfield to push a Miner out of
the way and threaten the Miner's QB.
Lucius: Looks like all the players are sortof grouped together down
there.
Ferdinand: It's a big scrum on the side line. The miners advance a
little but another crossfield blitz, this time from Gallagher Kristy
knocks the ball loose. It's fielded by Cindy Crawford right on the
sideline who tosses it back out to Heidi. The tide has turned in this
game.
Lucius: Who has the ball? I don't see it.
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Lucius: [offended] Ok, ok, you don't have to get mean about it.
Ferdinand: Heidi had the ball for only an instant before Samuel L.
Jackboot lowered a shoulder and hit her square in the shin. The ball
falls into the scrum and bounces around in the rain soaked field.
Bounces, bounces, bounces….
Lucius: Can I ask who has the ball now?
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Ferdinand: Yes, the color commentary IS pathetic in this game. It
looks like…..Miner Gunther Greely had the ball bounce right into his
hands! He hands it back to the QB. They cage up again and muscle the
Voticies back so they can get it into the endzone. Wow, what a first
drive!
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Ferdinand: That's right – the little guys started with a player
advantage and got very lucky. Not much time on the clock for the
half. The Vorticies will need to be quick if they want to tie. They
line up and get ready for the kick. BLITZ!! The miners are
scrambling across the line of scrimmage aimed at the catcher and
blitzer on the near sideline. The Vorticies maintain their composure
and bring the ball upfield. Cindy Crawford gets to the scrimmage and
flicks a shuttle pass to Heidi Klum but it's batted down. The miners
are surrounding the ball now and that will end the first half.

[Intermission]

Ferdinand: Well we're back and I'm glad to say we have a new guest in
the announcing booth. Arch Inquisitor and galaxy renowned coach,
Magnus Drax. Sir, it certainly is a pleasure.
Drax: Yes, I'm sure it is. I wanted to check on the lad, Finklehelm,
to see if he'd prepared his ratlings well. Judging by the injury box,
they seem to have the upper hand.
Ferdinand: That's right, the Vortices are down 3 players going into
the second half. This could be a rough one. The ball is kicked far
and out of bounds so the catcher Adrina fields it right at midfield.
The drive begins.
Drax: Looks like those little runts know how to block…
Ferdinand: ….better than Vortices Gallagher Kristy who goes down to
the pitch early in the Asheville drive.
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Drax: Yes, I would have trained her better than that.
Ferdinand: This isn't a coaching error – that line woman must have
slipped on the pitch. The breaks are all going the Miner's way. The
dwarves are pushing and bashing the Vorticie frontline. And Crom
Tunnelrunner slips in to blitz Gallagher. BAM!
Drax: Nice hit.
Ferdinand: The ball goes bouncing, bouncing….and out.
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Drax: Yes, right in front of the miner's team. How fortunate for
Finklehelm.
Ferdinand: The miner's cage up on the ball and their QB picks it up
at the center of the cage. What a bad turn for the Vorticies. But
they're not giving up. As the miners rumble up the flat toward the
endzone, Halle Berry splits 3 defenders and lays a block on the ball
carrier sending the ball flying. She dodges and almost picks it up in
two dwarf tacklezones.
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Drax: Yes her curves ARE quite lively and a one-woman Bloodbowl team
that girl is.
Ferdinand: Well, she has to be with the dwarves outnumbering the
elves 11 to 7 on the field. The miners pummel the Vortices – only
Berry is still standing. She slips free and makes another dive for
the ball this time tripped up and stunned squirting the ball free.
This pitch is wreaking havok on Halle's ball handling.
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Drax: Keep it clean Krieg – this is a family show.
Ferdinand: The miners scoop up the ball and cage up again. What a
scrum! Adrina is taken down hard and stretchered out. Berry stands
up and takes on four miners by herself! They team up on her and bring
her back down to the pitch, shaking her up. The miners are just
pummeling the elves now.
Drax: Yes, no mercy from these muscular mice.
Ferdinand: With no elves standing to stop them, Mantle Stoneskin
takes the ball in for his second TD. Things are looking bleak for the
Vorticies.
Drax: They certainly are. They'll be fielding only six players this
drive.
Ferdinand: The ball is kicked to the center of the Vorticies zone and
scooped up by their QB Cindy Crawford who moves cautiously to the
line. The elves block down all the dwarves on the scrimmage and
manage to squirt Halle Berry free on the far sideline. Cindy
sidesteps to line up the pass and….
Krieg: [MMMMrrrrrmmmmm]
Drax: Ohhhh
Ferdinand: …she's tripped up by Jergen Getcrabs. The ball bounces
free -- another tough break for the elves. Mantle Stoneskin scoops it
and the dwarves cage up.
Drax: These dwarves don't know many plays other than the cage.
Ferdinand: That's true though they haven't needed much trickery
against this undermanned elf team. Stoneskin flicks it to one of his
lineman downfield. With such stubby fingers, it's amazing he caught
that. The elves key on the new ballcarrier and knock him to the
pitch. Cindy Crawford stands up and streaks toward the ball but slips
on the watery pitch knocking the ball clear. Stoneskin again scoops
the ball and tosses it – incomplete – to end the game. Wow, what a game.
Drax: It'll be interesting to see this re-match when the elves are
healthy.
Ferdinand: Sure will. Well that wraps our game coverage of the first
meeting of the Asheville Vorticies and the Blackstone Dark Miners.
This match ending with the Miners up 2-0.
”