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Match Result · League division
· Tournament game
Match recorded on 2006-08-15 03:58:02
80k
2/2/1
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
2
2
5
-
1
23
-
7
41
38
-
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
3
5
1
-
1
21
-
11
57
40
-
#11 Carmen Electra – Smashed Hip (-MA)
#13 Elle Macpherson – Dead (RIP)
“When a game begins with an opposing player very nearly killing Brooke Burke, every Vortex fan, (as well as half the human fans) get riled. The Wizards council replayed the images to discover that at least one of the rocks came from the WWE side of the pitch. Taking out a Vortex babe is akin to burning fine art or wasting a good hunk of meat. You just don't do it!
Unfortunately, to prevent Brook's untimely demise, all of the supplies from the first aid, second aid and third aid kits were used. This proved quite unfortunate when Elle's neck was snapped in a failed dodge. As we are all familiar however, Nuffle taketh away and Nuffle taketh more away and on rare occasion, Nuffle reluctantly giveth (or more accurately, allows to occur naturally). The coach was made aware of an old hermit named Miracle Max, whose examination revealed that Elle was only MOSTLY dead. With a pill and a little crackropracktik she is back and in fine shape.
However, Carmen Elektra's hip injury is here to stay. The finest doctors that could be bought by CoCo Chenelf managed to return 83% of her range of motion and with a little physical therapy she'll be strutting along the raceway once more, albeit not modeling those hi hip hanging bikini's any more.
As the WWE were shown once more, you can not afford to drop the ball on the pitch during play. It will cost you. However, their hard-hitting tactics definately aided in securing the well earned TD's. This reporter overheard The Hulkster commenting after his TD, "huff, huff, puff, good god... I'd take 2 days of tackle practice over having to make another run like that...puff huff puff... my nerves are shot!"
Even The Heartbreak Kid was reminded of how he got his moniker. When asked about why he rushed over twice as far as he passed, his reply was "I really shouldn't have to work that hard to pass to 70 yards. I made the call and every time the call was, it's just not safe to let the ball fly."
When The Rock, WWE's star player, was asked why the Vortecies threw more blocks with fewer players on the pitch, his reply was typical for him, "Bah! That'll NEVER happen again."
Overall it was a well-played game, toughly defended and quite bloody, un-naturally so, but the girl's commitment to the game shone through.
”
Unfortunately, to prevent Brook's untimely demise, all of the supplies from the first aid, second aid and third aid kits were used. This proved quite unfortunate when Elle's neck was snapped in a failed dodge. As we are all familiar however, Nuffle taketh away and Nuffle taketh more away and on rare occasion, Nuffle reluctantly giveth (or more accurately, allows to occur naturally). The coach was made aware of an old hermit named Miracle Max, whose examination revealed that Elle was only MOSTLY dead. With a pill and a little crackropracktik she is back and in fine shape.
However, Carmen Elektra's hip injury is here to stay. The finest doctors that could be bought by CoCo Chenelf managed to return 83% of her range of motion and with a little physical therapy she'll be strutting along the raceway once more, albeit not modeling those hi hip hanging bikini's any more.
As the WWE were shown once more, you can not afford to drop the ball on the pitch during play. It will cost you. However, their hard-hitting tactics definately aided in securing the well earned TD's. This reporter overheard The Hulkster commenting after his TD, "huff, huff, puff, good god... I'd take 2 days of tackle practice over having to make another run like that...puff huff puff... my nerves are shot!"
Even The Heartbreak Kid was reminded of how he got his moniker. When asked about why he rushed over twice as far as he passed, his reply was "I really shouldn't have to work that hard to pass to 70 yards. I made the call and every time the call was, it's just not safe to let the ball fly."
When The Rock, WWE's star player, was asked why the Vortecies threw more blocks with fewer players on the pitch, his reply was typical for him, "Bah! That'll NEVER happen again."
Overall it was a well-played game, toughly defended and quite bloody, un-naturally so, but the girl's commitment to the game shone through.
”
The game started off with the Warriors dazzling display of athletic skill resulting in an early touchdown. It seemed the Vortices came out a bit flat which contributed a great deal to the Warriors taking an early lead.
Then things got bloody. Brooke Burke nearly died in an attempt to get away from Rey Mysterio who had her marked deep in Vortices territory, but thanks to the skilled head trainer she was restored to health, but it was definitely a forshadowing of things to come.
The Vortices found their stride late in the first half and despite already being down two players rallied to score and tie it up at the half.
Early in the second half, it was the Warriors who had trouble executing and the Vortices quickly responed with an early touchdown to take a 2-1 lead, but at a great cost as Hardcore Holly recorded the first kill of the season laying an Alabama Ass-Whoopin' on Elle McPherson.
Hulk Hogan in his debut game also managed to pick up a loose ball and carry it into the endzone to tie the game up, half way through the second half.
It was at this time, the Vortices, beaten and bloodied reached down deep and behind the field generalship of star thrower Cindy Crawford launched som last minute heroics, hitting Halle Barry deep in Warrior territory to put the Vortices ahead for good.
The crowd frenzied by the display on the field also responded, with foreign objects flying across the field hampering the players on the field. No less then four rocks found targets during the game, three coming from the Vortices stands. The referee almost stopped the game and the league is currently reviewing their policy regarding stadium security to avoid these kinds of incidents in the future.
After the game the Warriors signed Kane "The Big Red Machine" and are looking forward to their next match. Meanwhile the Vortices go into their next game with a laundry list of injuries, but they have proven that they may get down, but are never out of a match!”