“Perineal bride's maid finally weds.

After several failed attempts at an Orca Cola tourney series win, the Gum Boils finally pull through. But it was no skill of their own. A first round win was easy enough, but the semi final opponent was a no show and the Gum Boil advanced to the finals for the first time. Their record was 2 wins and 3 losses.

Crap hands coach Monotonous had a plan. One of his hobgoblins snuck into Coach Bagg's office and replaced the Gum Boils play book with an elf play book. Coach Monotonous was counting on Coach Bagg to be too stupid to know the difference. It worked!!. Coach Bagg came out doding and passing in the first half. However the plan didn't go as smoothly as expected because the Gum Boils put up two elf-ball touchdowns, one on the last turn of the first half.

During a half-time interview, Coach Bagg was asked about his new plays. After a short arguement concerning the existance of new plays, the reporter took Coach Bagg play book from his back pocket and showed him where it said in big red letters, "ELF PLAYBOOK"

Coach bagg was angry and confused. He got a new copy of his old playbook and took to the field for the second half. The Bum Boils kicked off and played 8 turns of lights out chaos style defense and walked away with the Championship Trophy.

If any have ventured this deep into my game report, then know this. Monotonous is a fine coach and I eagerly await the ass whooping I so desperately deserve from him.”