“Good day to you again, sports fans, as we bring to you a report from the beginning of SWL season XVI!

Today we saw the opening match for the Tasmanian Rangers in their second season, playing against the rookie Green Pus Packers. Both teams fougth hard, and while both sides played extremely well, neither team could get a major advantage over the other, with the match ending in a 1-all draw.

At the start of the match, the green pus packers came out strongly, punching hard and dominating the Tasmanian Rangers, who obviously expected the rookie team to be an easy match. The Green Pus Packers dominated the first half, with Rehan Piket scoring late and leading 1-0 heading into the halftime show.

An internal investigation is being conducted bythe Tasmanian Rangers against Joseph Lyons, who could have brought down Piket well before he was able to score, but seemed to trip over his bootlaces, even though they were short enough that it took a needle to get them undone.

Obviously having an elven ritual for the half-time show angered the fans of the Green Pus Packers, with one fan taking his anger out by throwing an object... um... yeah, better leave it just as an "object", you don't want to know the truth about what it was.... at Bob Clifford, flattening him for the start of the half.

While this obviously had an effect on the overall team strategy, the Tasmanian Rangers were able to pull themselves together enough to be able to score late in the second half to equalise up until the final bell.

While both teams would have obviously preferred a win to begin their season, a draw is sufficient to begin both accounts. The Green Pus Packers now move on to play the necromantic team of Restless in Pieces, who are coming off a first-round win, while the Tasmanian rangers meet Skye's Tainted, who they played against and dominated the match last season.

Twahnlow votes:

3 - Eithus-aoggu: for injuring Max Walker in the first turn of the game, keeping him out for the entire match.

2 - Rehan Picket: for scoring the first ever Green Pus Packers touchdown, and also being the player moving most on the field.

1 - Kohlin Kohl: for delaying the Tasmanian Rangers replying touchdown and thus ensuring the match is a draw.”