“There had been a Blizzard throughout Southern Orkenheim for a week leading up to this match, but some Dwarfish wizardry turned the conditions into bright and sunny the moment our Orkish kicker started the game. With the sun unexpectedly in their eyes, seven of the Green Spleenjabbers' starting 11 were knocked down in seconds, and our Orgre was KO'd.
We were down to two players standing in the fourth turn, when Habo walked in unopposed for the opening score for the Dwarves. Luck ratings at that point were Orks - 42%, Dwarves - 82%. Things were not looking good.

All this Dwarven sneakiness just got us mad. Off the restart, the Spleenjabbers stunned Brewmaster Wondo and blitzed downfield. A long cross-field pass by Lushus sent our Captain, Bubba, storrming downfield. The Dwarves tried to shift their defense across the pitch, but with so few standing after the Blitz, only the runners Ompu and Habo were defending deep. Ompu bounced off Bubba's armour, and the big Ork kicked Habo out of the way and charged in for the TD! Naturally, the Ork cheerleaders mobbed him, and the Dwarf cheerleaders could only look on in envy.

The rest of the half was a pitched battle right at the line of scrimmage, with neither team making any ground. Gobby Gobswog managed to break through once, but was flattened before he could tackle the ball carrier Ompu, who was deep in his end. Stalemate, 1-1 at the half.

Off the kick, we switched play to the left again with a quick pass to Bubba Grumpthwack. Bart Fartcannon broke a hole in the Dwarf line there, but Bubba didn't get far, tripped up by little Ompu Yellowbelly. Possession changed along the Orkish left touchline several times while a ferocious battle raged on the line of scrimmage. The Dwarves got the upper hand there, and Brewmaster Wondo opened up a huge gap by KOing Loog the Orgre. Thorin grabbed the loose ball and ran for the new hole in the centre.

Bubba tried to stop him, but was killled in the attempt! The Orkish crowd watched in stunned silence as the Ork Apothecary tried to save him... and succeeded! This inspired the Orks, and Stump Stikblud brought Thorin down, forcing him to drop the ball. Stump recovers it, and turns downfield, but is immediatley surrounded by Dwarves. Gobby Gobswog squirms free from the carnage on the left and charges for the endzone, screeching for the ball. Stump has never thrown a ball in his life, and if he ever tries it again, I'll bench him forever. His throw is intercepted by Sorin Skaven Hater.

At this point, it's looking like a draw. Turn 6, Dwarves in possession deep in their end. Brewmaster Wondo throws himself into a block in the torn-up center of the field in an effort to make space, but he breaks his neck! To make matters worse, the Dwarven Apothecary had been pre-sampling the post-match Grog, and failed to save Wondo's broken vertebrae. All the Dwarves stopped playing, shocked, and Bart Fartcannon, on his third attempt, brings down Sorin and knocks the ball free. Bart, a clumsy Black Ork Blocker, showed the agility of a Goblin by scooping up the ball and Going For It - not once, but twice - stretching to get the ball into the endzone for the winning touchdown.

This was a great game, Wondo, and I'm genuinely sorry about your namesake's recurring neck problems.”