“Sadly a stitch in time from the team Apothocary couldn't save luckless lineman Stitch who died of internal bleeding following a harrowing and surely illegal tackle from the otherwise ineffectual hulk Tit anus. For the second time in a week coach Hepworthnot had to deliver sad news to another Blood Bowl Widow.

On the bright side, the Players Pension Payments have already been confirmed and the tax avoidance Will prepared for all members of the team means no inheritance tax is due.

Incredible play from the Rangers despite having no substitutes to call on and suffering heavy casualties during the match. They took the lead despite kicking to Rumpus 8. Some remarkable defensive play prevented a nailed on touch down.

The conclusion of all who saw the match was that if Creekmoor can't win with a five player advantage on the pitch then he isnever going to beat his old nemesis Hepwortnot. This newspaper's view is that records are there to be broken of course but at 9 wins without reply there is no sign that this record has even been set yet.

PH 9 v 0 RH”