“Bluff and bluster quickly became blush and blabber at the Rumpus Rosebowl today. History. "We're going to make history " was the crass boast of Creekmoor. His team is surely now history, confined to the blood bowl bin of oblivion.

On the wrong end of a three nil thrashing Rumpus are in chaos. The press corps consensus was that they were lucky to get nil. Rumour has it that the team's owners have requested permission from the League Commissioners to rename the team Rumpus Nil.

Creekmoor is desperately searching for an offensive coach to try and overcome his team's apparent reluctance to cross the whitewash. How he could do with a twentyfour carat jem like the redoubtable Raiders catcher Varhl. Not only did he keep up his extraordinary record of scoring in every match he has played in (and remember Rumpus 8 often don't score in every match they play in!) taking his tally to six TDs in five legend-making matches - he also showed his steel by seriously injuring Pondrus who suffered a broken leg to remind him of the day he dared to tackle the great one.

We tried to speak to both coaches. Creekmoor refused to answer any questions and Hepworthnot couldn't hear us banging on the changing room door, our efforts being drowned out by the raucous singing of the team song "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble". Back to you in the Fumbbl studio.

PH 10 v 0 RH

PS To save time in future reports we will just record the PH score.”