“Well 93k fans turned up to what proved a particularly bloody game. The wood elves were nervous from the start when they realised the opposition team had two players specialising in dirty tactics, but took the field anyway, confident in their try scoring ability.

Things went rapidly downhill after Thagrel Neth scored a try in the oppening minutes as players were maimed and killed left right and centre, nearly all of them elves.

Argoth Thickroot was a dissapointment from the beginning. Not only did he get lost and only turn up at half time, but he spent most of the second half on the deck or slowly chasing after the fast little hummies running around him. The coach has given him a good yelling about lifting his game or being dropped, but the tree appeared to be sleeping at the time. It seems Argoth has a different game plan to the rest of the team.

In all, the scoreline was marginal, but the cruel Berserkers have convincingly crushed one Dream today, leaving the elf coach wondering what it was about the destruction of his team that seems to have attracted more fans for the future...”