“Dear family,

Today I witnessed a wonderous event. From my position on the sideline following the incident with that amazonian lady last time out, honestly I was trying to tackle her, I watched the servants abysmally fail in my absence. The game itself was over as a contest on T3 of the first half when my lacky and the pleb followed skivvy and that flunky to the box, unfortunately it was the BH box. That brought the team numbers down to being a little uneven, greatly exaggerated by their guys having skills.

The bonus for this game was the Apo actually turned up following a couple of deaths at his hand and saved the Bellboy from a horrible death, so there will be someone to answer the door in the castle.

Anyway I digress talking of the help. Clearly it shows that I'm not cut out for this management thing as people claimed after my last stint on the bench and I'll be out pulling on the pads for another stint in the trenches, clearly the lack of leadership showed on the pitch and the presence of a stiff upper lip will soon whip the motley crew into shape.

Well that's the latest from my venture so pass my regards on to the family and remind the cousins they're welcome to come and muck in for a jolly good time. Off for some pimms on the lawn, though mind you don't confuse the blood down there for spillage, what what!

your gracious son,
Finlay (Gentleman)

I'd like to thank Starbreeze for one of the most enjoyable beatings I've received in this game, despite utterly trouncing my team he had the good grace to cheer on my team when it was possible for me to get a late consolation score. That is the sign of a great sport, many thanks. The rematch will hopefully come some day, though I suspect these teams are destined for opposite ends of the league table!”