“Well here you have it! Bacteria really are good for something: making Elves sick! The fans turned out in droves to see the match (though really, they thought they were here to see Bitteny StabbedWithSpears zombie concert and most of them tried get their money back... Thankfully the coach of the Bacterial Counterculture had thought ahead and hired Ogre ticket sellers). The crowd left wondering if they'd had fun. Newsflash: They did!

The Ninja Potato squad seemed determined to roll down the wings one or two at a time, with the ball in hand, which proved to be a poor choice of tactic. One after another their forays into enemy territory were rebuffed by goblinoids enthusiastically hurling themselves under their feet. The Elite Ninja Potato had a chance to score once, but held up on the goal-line to do a victory dance, which quickly earned him an infectious boot to the groin. The trolls seemed pleased with their abysmal performances in the last two matches and actually, for once, listened to the urgings of the goblins at their feet and laid waste to the elf line.

Claims that the Elves water bottles were tainted with Entomoplasma were summarily disregarded. It was plain to see that he was on the field, scrambling for two touchdowns!”