“Scandal! This reporter has just interviewed a source close to the coach of the Bacterial Counterculture and is now breaking shocking news! It seems that in the pre-match sequence, Acidaminococcus snuck into the League 'a Gangstaz's dressing room and bathed, yes, bathed his disgusting self in the 40zees that the lizardmen used to get fired up into their ferocious cold-blooded frenzy!

The hardest hit was Burnablunt, who suffered a moment of dizziness as a result of the dastardly poisoning and had his preferred method of intoxication thumped into his lungs by Vampirovibrio.

It's no wonder that the League was stumbling about the pitch, rolling ones and skulls in every important situation. The office of the league commissioner was contacted to comment on any possible disciplinary action, but they were all busy counting all the coins in the fat bags of gold recently delivered from sources unknown.”