“Season opener for the Mr Whippy's Emporium Regional Division, and as such it should of been a big game. The fans of both teams turned out in reasonable numbers to see the Underskilled, and undermanned elfs battle it out with the hardened veterans Head on Collision.

It began well for the Elf's as Ed Oncrash, the Undead second string Wight, was escorted from the ground by the local constabulary to answer for a crime he vows he didn't commit. This evened up the team sheets. After the kickoff the Elfs were easily able to break past the flat footed horde of the undead, and scored very quickly.

The Collision then made it clear why they are so named with some mighty hitting. They ambled down the field to tie it up at half time. The Elf Witch was surprisingly resilient during this time as she managed to stay on the field despite numerous kicks from an angered zombie.

The second half started hopefully for the collision who planned to again amble slowly down the field and score leaving a trail of elfen bodies. No-one told the elfs though, as their Witch managed to dodge past her blockers and get a one on one blitz on the ball carrier, it was marvelously executed and it managed to turn the ball over. 2 - 1 the Elfs...from here the Undead coaching staff had obviously had enough and decided a silenced ref was in order, the word was put out and the ref didn't appear again. Thankfully for the Collision they were able to make the distance despite having half the time from the clock expired. Thankfully for the Elfs the frenzied kicking inflicted on them didn't hit anything vital.

The anger in the undead coaches box was vented, the crowd were appeased, and both teams move on to the next round, though Bindir will be missing the Elfs next one.

The undead coach has also made it clear to whoever is skimming from the games takings that they will be found out, and used for kicking drills in team training.

Dirk Condor gains the dirty player ability, due to his kicking practice.”