“Game 1 of Season XIX

The debut match for the Warriors of Gaul kicked off in a howling blizzard. Clearly the reptilian ones had initimatated the ref as no sooner had the game started, they began putting the boot in. The ref promptly turned his back on their illegal tactics and continued to turn the other cheek all through the first half. I understand he has a date with a certain menhir delivery man at the back of the coliseum after the game so we'll see what shape he's in after that! I'm guessing 'flat'.

The Gauls recieved, cleared the LOS and sent Fulliautomatix deep downfield. Unfortunately Unhygenix couldn't catch the Cacafonix midfield pass and the ball was left lying for Boris the skink to swoop on it under their very noses. A blitz by Unhygenix couldn't floor Boris and neither did a Cacafonix block. Boris deftly eluded some poor marking by Unhygenix but luckily for the Gauls, slipped and spilled the ball attempting to evade Metallurgix. Metallurgix promptly gathers up the ball and makes a quick pass to Fulliautomatix in center field who blitzes downfield. Fortunately none of the Saurus are in a postion to take down Fulliautomatix so coach Morgion has to use the Kroxigor to free the nearest Saurus from its marker. While Drinklikafix goes down, he manages to take the Krox with him leaving Fulliautomatix a clear run for the line.

With most of the Sucka's at the wrong end of the field the Warriors are happy to put a screen behind the lizards to leave Fulliautomatix safe from any immediate threat. Drinklikafix has to take a couple of fouls surrounded by the smelly beasts and gets knocked out the second time around. Instantmix gets some revenge by breaking Boris the skinks jaw before Fulliautomatix scores on turn6.

The Warriors of Gaul are in front !!!!!

The Slippery Suckas promptly gather the ball up and make an untidy cage just on our side of halfway. Codfix manages to pushback a skink blocking access to the ballcarrier which allows Fulliautomatix to blitz and bring him down, dislodging the ball. Cacafonix successfully pulls down the Krox but in the process the ball bounces to Saurus Boom who amazingly manages to grab it despite the attentions of two of the Gauls. The Suckas have the ball still and are a real prospect to score.

Whosemoralsarelastix gets knocked out and Boom the Saurus holds the ball while the skinks move downfield to set up a scoring play next turn. A smart play by Prolix though puts Boom in reach of an assisted Cacafonix block which sees the ball bounce free. Codfix scoots in to recover the ball and makes a quick pass to Drinklikafix in a safe postion which sees the hourglass wind down to half time with the Gauls safely in possession.

Still in front at half time and things are looking good for the Gauls despite Obelixcoidix being KO'd by the Krox before the hooter !

Unfortunately Obelixcoidix and Whosemoralsarelastix are still out cold as the second half begins and they're immediately joined by Prolix on the resumption. While the skink Rodney can't retrieve the ball there's no way the Gauls can recover it either. He botches his second attempt as well giving Instantmix a chance to clear the sideline and blitz him away, covering the ball. Beefix runs downfield to be in position to score next and the lizards backpeddle. Codfix is the first warrior to take a serious injury suffering concussion following a block by Me Angry Me Smash. Instantmix though is left with a golden chance to pick up the ball for a pass to the waiting Beefix to put the game out of reach. But he muffs the pickup !! The Slippery Suckas don't need a second invitation, flatten all but two of the Gauls and advance the ball to our endzone but choose to stall for time.

Out of position the Warriors of Gaul can only get three players back in the defensive half of the field and there are all too far away in the atrocious weahter to reach Skink Ernie with the ball. Ernies stalls a bit longer and now the Gauls are beginnng to threaten with three players within striking distance. While they're heavily marked Unhygenix manages to bring Ernie down and the ball goes into the crowd. The ball bounces in favourably and Metallurgix manages to sneak away from his marker to collect it. He's exposed though and is promptly tackled by one of the big saurus halfway between the LOS and endzone. Ernie takes up position in the endzone for skink Rodney to attempt the retrieve. He bombs it again leaving Unhygenix to push the expectant Ernie into the crowd who promptly beat him up. Metallurgix is covering the ball on the ground but crucially Beefix can't bring down the Saurus bearing down on Metallurgix. Metallurgix is pushed off the ball allowing skink Rodney the chance to put right his earlier poor ball handling. Rodney steps up at last, gathers the ball and strolls to the endzone untouched in the lizards last turn.

Cacafonix gets in some meaningless passing practice from the kickoff with not enough time for the Gauls to score.

Overall though a satisfying debut for our indomitable gauls. The game could easily have gone either way but it wasn't a loss and no permanent injury so coach Longshanx can't be too unhappy. This is a development seaon after all.

Metallurgix seemed to pickup some tips on how to support his team mates better and has learned to guard.

The Gauls wish to thank Coach Morgion for a interesting match and assure him his ill-treatment of prone players will not be forgotten.

This summary bought to you by Literarycritix, official team sribe.

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