“SWL Season XIX - Premier League - Round 2

Delayed broadcast:

Hi Folks, and welcome to tonight's round two premier match. We have some classic greenskin action tonight between Da Greenskin Raiders, and We Fink Wer Orks. What's that Jon? Oh, it turns out we were misled, one of the teams is not auh ... (muffled thud). Where was I again - two orc teams (yep definitely orcs) that are very even on paper, but if past performance is anything to go by, it seem that the Raiders have a bit of a soft spot for the ladies of the SWL. We shall see how they fare tonight!

It's almost time - the teams are lining up, and it looks like the Raiders will be kicking first. And there it goes, a fairly normal sort of kick, easily scooped up by Loony Tossa. And a light tap with the boot leaves Grsack stunned on the ground. Oh my, Badz Teefrippa is the man to watch - he's furious that anyone would dare try to foul his poor team-mate - he's taken one look at Gut Slamma and driven his fist right through to the back of her helmet. There's no recovering from something like that. She'll only be remembered as "that chick Badz killed on his way to the Hall of Fame" - he just needs to show us a little something more, and I reckon he'll be the first of the Raiders to receive the honour. The noise here is incredible - he have a crows of over 150,000 come to see the match, and it looks like they're going to love every minute of it.

A loose, slow moving cage around Loony Tossa is starting to form, but these ladies are knocking down Black Orcs like there is no tomorrow - Savagejaw has been knocked out, and Elbow Kikka has lined up Blackhide for something rather unpleasant. Ouch! We could hear the crunch of vertebrae from here, but it seem the ref was distracted by someone in the crowd. I don't think Blackhide will be back for a while.

Bone Krasha may just have advanced too far - looks like the greenskins are putting up a group effort to take her down. In comes Badz again and down she goes, that leg of hers if going to need some work. If they keep this up, there won't be anyone left by the end of the match!

Oh my, that's some fine defence - the Raiders read that switch attempt perfectly. What's this? Loony Tossa is going the wrong way - some of her fans seem to be trying to tell her, but it seems she has a plan of her own. Maybe she's decided to swap sides?

Well, the Raiders have the numbers now, and it looks like it will be tough for either team to score from here. Time is running out. There she goes, Loony Tossa has grabbed the ball, and passed it over to Hed Splitta in the middle of the field, but it seems she's mis-calculated. Realising that she can't get the ball to anyone in range for a touchdown, Hed Splitta takes the ball to the safety of the far side of the pitch. And with that, there definitely won't be a touchdown in this half.

HALF TIME --- We Fink Wer Orks 0 - 0 Da Greenskin Raiders

Well, things are looking grim for the ladies. They couldn't score with a full team on offence, and now they are down to 9 players for the second half. With both Loony Tossa and Bone Krasha out of action someone else will have to step up to the task.

And here they go. Well, it doesn't seem that either team has anything too special when it comes to kicking the ball. The kick is wide, and the ball is collected easily by Gougedeye, who passes it into Gutrot - that blitzer sure has some muscles on him. It will take quite something to get the ball away from him.

*yawn*

Sorry about that folks, I almost started to nod off - there's nothing much happening so far in the half, the Raiders have constructed a solid cage in the middle of the pitch, and it looks like all they're up against is the sort of delaying tactics we've come to expect from elves. C'mon, you're supposed to be orcs - get into it already!

It's turn 4, and whoosh - there goes a fireball! I can't quite see what's happened. It looks like ... well, nothing! What kind of armour are these ladies wearing? Seems they came prepared - it must be fireproof or something.

The clock is still ticking, and there's not much more to report quite yet. We're just coming into turn 6, and the raiders are still holding the ball, but they're just behind the half-way line - hope they don't run the clock down too far.

Oh no! down he goes. First block of the turn, and Boneskull has forgotten how to hit. He took a swing at the rather unscrupulous Elbow Kikka, and somehow she's left him flat on his back. This is really going to hurt for the Raiders.

Here we go, the girls are finally making their move, and in they go! Back Breaka has left knocked Badz out cold, but the raiders still have the numbers near the ball. Leg Breaka is there to give it a shot though, she's up against two Raiders, both stronger than she is, but BAM, down goes Gutrot he certainly didn't see that one coming, and the ball is loose. What an effort from Leg Breaka! It doesn't look like the ladies are finished yet, here comes Da Flinga to take up Loony Tossa's usual job of ball retrieval, and she has it! A quick pass down to Hed Splitta looks like it could seal the game. What a turnaround. Well, looks like that's about it, with Badz and Gutrot out of action for the moment, there is really no one of sufficient calibre to have a good shot at the ball.

With Back Breaka supporting her, Hed Splitta is through for the touchdown, and barely in time at that! Haha, a bit of celebratory fireworks it seems, It turns out the ladies hired their wizard for nothing more than a bit of a post-match celebration. There we have it, We Fink Wer Orcs has taken a 1-0 lead with a massive turnaround in the second half. What a match - definitely one I'll remember for a while.

FULL TIME --- We Fink Wer Orks 1 - 0 Da Greenskin Raiders

------------------- Twahnlow Votes -------------------

3 pts - #5 Badz Teefrippa
An easy pick this one. Badz killed Gut Slamma in the very first turn of the match, and he was just warming up. He followed it up, leaving Bone Krasha with a fractured leg in turn 2. I'm of the opinion that this fellow single-handedly kept the Raiders defence in order - without dealing out that bit of early damage, they probably would have had much more trouble stopping the ladies in their tracks. A fine player, and what a way to go into the Hall of Fame. Congratulations Badz!

2 pts - #8 Grok Grummish
Though it may not have been obvious, Grok's tackling ability played a big part in this game. Though he never had a chance to make use of it, the combination of tackle and diving tackle was enough of a threat to make repeated changes to any plans I came up with.

1 pt - #6 Kronkk Gutrot
A bit of an odd one this one. Gutrot was a bit of a menace through most of the game, with some crucial blitzes in the first half, and taking Loony Tossa completely out of the game for the second half. He then did a good job of looking after the ball, seemingly secure until Leg Breaka took him by surprise, leaving him on the ground stunned. Still, he did a great job for a most of the match, and deserves a bit of recognition for it.
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