“Game 2 of Season XIX

Facing a Wood Elf team superior in skills and speed, the Chief was fully expecting the score to blowout. But whatever prayer Vitalstatistix offered up to Belenos certainly worked as the forest ones caught an unexpected case of the dropsies in one of the poorest ball handling displays this scribe has ever seen. Whatever the reason, the Warriors of Gaul secure their first win, completely against expectations.

This scribe is embarrassed to admit that he couldn't find his way to the field in time for the kickoff and I only joined the game at half time. All that halfwit Vitalstatistix could tell me was that it was one all at halftime and that Fulliautomatix had killed the elf thrower because their apothecary had refused to show up due to a fishy smell on the field. My apologies that there is no full commentary.

With the score at 1-1 the Gauls kick long on the resumption and Sylvan Dylan runs back to retrieve the ball but fails the pickup. He recovers though, brings it upfield but bombs the pass leaving it for Cacafonix to cleanup midway in the Rangers half, flanked by two of his compatriots. Sylvan Dylan recovers his composure enough to blitz the ball free, knocking Cacafonix out in the process. Unhygenix makes sure the Rangers can't advance the ball though by deftly tripping Moondancer as he attempts to escape that awful fishy smell which follows Unhygenix around. The Rangers star Felil de Roll is left stranded on the sidelines and is promptly escorted into the crowd by Fulliautomatix to sign some autographs. Apparently he's to highbrow to stoop to autograph signing however so he gets smacked by some disappointed fans and spends the rest of the match recovering in the dugout. With that fearsome Wardancer out of the game, the Gauls prospects rise dramatically!

Obelixcoidix proves his hands are better suited to menhir making than ball playing by fluffing the pickup leaving the annoying Sylvan Dylan to retrieve the ball yet again and glide upfield. Treewalker overcomes his distaste to send the fishmonger to the dugout to join Cacafonix. Obelixcoidix trys to make up for his earlier mistake but his feet are as awkward as his hands and he falls over unconscious while trying to blitz the ball carrier. Its left to Fulliautomatix to take down the persistant Dylan, deep in the Gauls own half. With no other options Sylvan Dylan dodges past Fulliautomatix but can't pick up the ball again. He's no autograph signer either and staunchly refuses to visit the fans despite a forceful invitation by Drinklikafix. He has another go at the pickup but under pressure by Fulliautomatix and Whosemoralsarelastix, fails for a third time.

Instantmix picks up the ball and fends off an attempted blitz by Treesinger. He then runs to halfway, passes to a waiting Metallurgix who, free from any interference from the Rangers, goes in to score on the stroke of full time. The Gauls win! There will be feasting in the village tonight. Sadly Cacafonix's "Ode to Victory" was postponed (something to do with a broken Lyre).

This summary bought to you by Literarycritix, official team sribe.”