“After the balloting for the MVP had entered the fourth and decisive round, Kim Campbell addressed the media, flanked by Sir John A Macdonald and Dief The Chief.

"Dear colleagues, respected opponents and reviled members of the fifth estate, I humbly stand before you today proudly declaring our victory. It is with great humility that I perform this showy touch-down dance, begging all to behold the glory that is I. Our opponents tried to drag us down into the mud, but we like it there and dove on in ahead of them. Some say that I have no place leading a country that did not elect me, but I believe the women do have a place in politics, even if that place is at the bottom of a gang-foul. I have avoided Destruction for another day, though I do feel as if I have been affected by a Delerium of sorts. However, nothing can take away what I almost threw away by killing myself. I would like to thank the party apothecary for staying off the booze until I needed him."

Belinda Stronach made a brief appeal to the assembled crowd. "We are now selling tickets to a fund-raiser, as everyone on the team desperately needs to wash off the stink of killer goats. And we prefer to bathe in money. Thank you."”