“A game of two halves of what is slowly becoming a grudge match between these two sides.

The Terrors Ran onto the Storm Drain pitch to be confronted by a heatwave that left a nasty smell wafting through the air. Funnily enough, not many elves had made the trip in the sweltering heat and the crowd refelcted this.

Coming out to a bad-smelling dustbowl of a pitch, the Elves were clearlty unsettled. This was seen in their first play of the game as Lion'el Oakarm fumbled picking up from the kickoff, much to the delight of the jeering home fans.

Buoyed by elven uncertainty, the Spiders surged ahead. Blye the Twisted was the first upon the opposition with a flying leap, giving lineman Deadeye Arrowfall a slap around the chops with his massive, mutated hand, resulting in Arrowfall getting a broken jaw for his trouble. The crowd went wild.

The elves were now, for want of a better word, 'bricking it' and the play broke down again when Oakarm missed an easy pass to Steve Larchsong. With the ball loose, Obscurux Ghost pounced on it and sprinted off, leaving the elves in his trail of dust. Impressive guarding play by the linesmen gave him a clear run in to score.


For the second half, the elves were thin on the ground, but an early hard challenge from Terror's linesman Talloak Sparrowgold saw the untimely death of half crab-half rat Gurt Von Blackteeth. In a dramatic irony, Gurt's real father had made himself known during the game. He turned out to be a lobster from Marienburg, who had been in the pink until the tragedy. It was the linesman's request to be buried at sea, but the mangement think that's just going overboard.

This death spurred the Terrors into overdrive, and they blocked like never before. Soon enough holes were appearing in the Spiders offensive line and the death of the catcher Stabby-Stabb rocked them. The Terrors soon had the ball free and were running home after Oakarm finally got his act together.

Worse was to come as The Widowmaker picked up a crushed hand that looks set to plague him the whole season, followed by Vineweed being mugged in possession. This allowed lineman Quieteye Fellsky to snatch up the ball and turn in the winning touchdown in the dying minutes. A dejected Sewer Spiders walked off the pitch wondering how on earth they lost. At the end they looked gutted down in the gutter.



Rumours that a Plague monk healer has joined the team are as yet unconfirmed.... ”