“We’ve finally come to the conclusion that as an Ogre team, unless you’re facing a 9 man, unskilled, squad of AV7s you NEVER look forward to a game with a winning optimism… and a 9 man, unskilled, av7 squad the ridiculously named, Ultra Evil Elf Ninjas Turbo, wasn’t!

They were in fact a very skilled, 13 man team of Dark Elves that happened to have won 4 of their last five games and were comfortable leaders of Division A.

Luckily for us our handicap came in the form of Morley’s Revenge and on our opening drive took out 3 players, and 2 of their four blodges much to the perplexity of the rival coach… it would never have such an effect again however.

Even with the aid of this we knew we had little chance of winning this tie against such a superior foe, so the aim was to just get out of this game what we could and avoid having our Gobo Asses splattered – so when they put their DP on the LOS, we instructed the Ogres what to do, and they were happy to comply.

In total it took more effort than expected due to Ogre stupidity and mere lack of ability… 2 blocks and a blitz in fact to put the blighter down, but once down, and despite stunned, we ensured he wasn’t getting back up… Toggy Lobe Crawler stuck the boot in and sent him to the BH box! Toot – toot the fans screamed… the field of fouls was all ours!

We steadily formed a cage and began to move towards the end zone, for the main part our Ogres were being uncharacteristically smart. The Elves however tried to be smarter, and a clever little Frenzy-Whore tried for a 1d 2 blocks crowd surf on our Ogre but instead contented herself with knocking him down. At this point the score was ours, but the Ogres were infuriated! With unprecedented intelligence they formed a wall around the team that had attempted to surf Glob and then when a blitz cam from Mush, we chained pushed one of their Blitzes into the crowd and knocked the lino target to the ground… introducing both to the BH box! OGREAT!

Awe struck by achieving something he could not the rival coach bitterly uttered “This is unbelievable”. We scored and left with the aid of injury time left plenty of time for an E equalizer.

Only 8 Darkies took to the pitch, but it seemed enough to dodge their way through, blodge resist out attempts to take ‘em down and get to the end zone and score. Poop. 1 – 1 at half time and the DE to start the drive.

The second half never lived up to the first, and the DEs made an easy early score due in part to Gobos being flung rapidly into the CAS box by fumbling Ogre types… but at least we had a chance, a small chance, of equalising.

Despite the Ogres now doing little, the Gobos fumbling the ball, and two deep elf runs covering said ball, we managed to blitz away a TZ and get hold of it… We even kept it a while longer, but rather than have a Blodger come at us with a block we opted to risk another Ogre-Launch… one had to work today… surely! But nope… it didn’t and splat our little Gobo went.

The ball was recovered by the DEs and we got it back courtesy of our bumbling Ogres and even attempted a very hopeful last minute score involving a Blitz, pick up, completion - all Ogre powered… we failed early in this move to make it 2 – 1.

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Going into this with just 11 men as I desperately needed A RR, and 42 TS under… I knew a loss was on the cards, especially against such a skilled Elf Team.

The first half went well with four guys put in the BH box thanks to an excellent surf, a block and a failed DE dodge.

The Blodges however ran rampant through my team and my Ogres could do nothing to stop them… the 1d Gobo blocks I had on the Ball Carrier were more of a nuisance than a threat.

The second half sucked in contrast. Ogres blew my RR early then satisfied with that effort did little else. All the TTM attempts I made failed horribly (I didn’t complete a single one) and with similar numbers on the field as the DEs it was always going to be tough… hence the attempt to get the ball handler thrown to where I could cover him rather than wait for Jock to get an easy 2d block on him.

Anywho… no permanent injuries, 70K in cash and 3 skills is a moral victory to see us happily into the next season!

GG Jock.
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