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Match Result · League division
Match recorded on 2007-08-28 23:37:53
70k
1/0/0
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
-
-
1
-
1
7
-
-
-
6
-
“Welcome to the first issue of Better Mines and Chainmail. Today we will be interviewing the two dwarves of Mighty Shortcakes. Well we are here to talk about the recent match between them and Master Bobo.
BMAC: Hey guys, just finished watching your match and would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
SHORT: Thanks! Good to be here.
CAKE: Pretty lights!
BMAC: Yeah… So tell me about your Coach. Seems pretty new to the scene.
SHORT: Well GrumpyGrizzly is new to the big leages. But he’s been knocking around in the lower divisions for a while. Played since Nuffle first found the ball and never looked back. Founded the Corvallis Blood Bowl League. Then he lost interest in the game for a while. But the allure of 1v1 brought him back. He’s been playing about 25 games in the 1v1 division. In addition to over 100 games of 1v1 outside the league.
CAKE: Dwarf goooood!
BMAC: So he decided to try his hand at 2v2?
SHORT: Yeah, so he was pretty surprised when Master Bobo showed up without a second. But hey, I’m not going to complain. What kind of stupid dwarf would actually want to face TWO ogres on the pitch?
CAKE: Ogres are fun.
BMAC: Can you explain why… you’re teamate… WHAT IS HE DOING?
SHORT: Just means he likes you. Sure that’ll come out with a little ale.
BMAC: Can you explain why Cake wasn’t on the pitch for the first drive?
SHORT: Yeah… Dwarfstein over there forgot rule #1, don’t take candy from strangers. So he gobbed down rock candy that was tainted (and a rock) and next thing we know he’s moving faster than a Halfling at an “all the pie you can cram in your pie hole” contest. Except he’s heading for the bathroom. Moreley’s Revenge.
BMAC: So it’s just you and Bobo?
SHORT: Yeah, and let me tell you, that’s no fun at all. He knocks me down and runs for the ball. But he butter fingers it and now I’m in striking position. But coach decides that ending my turn next to the homical maniac is a good idea.
BMAC: I saw that. You got put on your back, but Master Bobo can’t pick up the ball?
CAKE: Was in little bezerker’s room!
SHORT: Yeah, there was a bit of trying to pick up the ball from both of us. Grumpy must have thought I was an elf or something. But then I caught a break and Bobo went all dumb on me. So I scooped up the ball and strutted in for a score.
BMAC: 1-0 at this point. But Cake didn’t come back out?
CAKE: Wasn’t done.
SHORT: So on the kickoff I told Bobo his shoelaces where untied. He stared down at them and got so confused because he didn’t HAVE any shoes on that he spent a while trying to figure it out. I scooted past him, grabbed the rock, but dropped it. Bobo came storming at me like a avalanche of dwarf pounding fury, but tripped over the shoelaces he didn’t have.
BMAC: So you scooted in for another score, making it 2-0. Cake finally managed to get out of the bathroom?
SHORT: Yeah, only to be beaned by a rock and fall on his face. Just wasn’t his half.
CAKE: Thrower needs groining!
BMAC: Second half saw a nice swing pass on the opening possession.
SHORT: Yeah, I ran off the LOS deep and Cake (somehow) made his rolls and drilled that sucker into me.
CAKE: I huck good!
BMAC: But it didn’t stay good.
SHORT: No… I got mauled by Bobo and you know what? Grumpy didn’t even have medical on hand! Mumbled something about “I know I forgot something”. Luckily I was only badly hurt and can play next game.
BMAC: So now it is just Cake and Bobo out there? We’re coming up on the key moment in the whole match. Talk us through it.
SHORT: With Bobo probably the smarter of the two, Short does one of the craziest things I have ever seen. Luckily he was dumb enough to follow what Grumpy told him to do, because it was really dumb. He pushed the ogre into the ball. Ball goes off the pitch and a Mighty Short Cakes fan tosses it back to the center of the pitch.
BMAC: Lucky break! You caught another as Bobo stubbed his toe and fell down. Then got confused about standing up again.
SHORT: Yeah, pure luck on that drive. Cake scooped it up and scampered in.
CAKE: Scoooooooore!
BMAC: Now the score is 3-0. The last drive seemed to run the same way as the first.
SHORT: Yeah Bobo put a good shot on Cake then ran for the ball. Cake gave him the choice “Dwarf on a stick, or the ball”. First drive, Bobo went for the ball, second he went for the dwarf.
BMAC: But both went down.
SHORT: Both went down. Cake hopped up and ran for the ball with Bobo hot on his boots. But Bobo, again, fell over something on the pitch. Cake scooped it up and got another TD.
CAKE: Scoooooooooooore!
BMAC: Game is over by this point. Congrats on your 4-0 win. We will be doing post game analysis with your coach, Grumpy Grizzly.
CAKE: Scooooooooooooooore!
BMAC: Security, get the idiot out of here!
[Sounds of 5 dwarfs jumping on Cake]
BMAC: Ok here with Grumpy Grizzly after that interruption.
GG: Ok, let’s get this done.
BMAC: What were the keys in this dominating win today?
GG: Biggest thing was that luck was just against kemimutt today. The luck meter had it 37% to 58%. But that did not tell anything near the whole story. He coached well, but there is little you can do if your player blows 3 bone head and 3 GFI rolls on key scoring drives.
BMAC: But luck wasn’t purely on your side either.
GG: Yeah. In a 2v2 match, I had only one dwarf on the field for all but 2 plays of the game. So it was mostly 1v1 with one of the worst 1v1 teams in the game.
BMAC: Explain the Apothecary issue.
GG: Quite simply I forgot to hire him. I don’t know why. In 1v1 it is the first thing I buy, but this time it just slipped my mind.
BMAC: Why is Cake’s TD in the second half, turn 2, so important? Short said that it was the key moment in the game.
GG: Simply put, I knew that if that Ogre got the ball picked up in a 1v1 situation he could drive it down the pitch in 3. I’d have to check the notes on exactly how man. With only one dwarf on the pitch, he’d have a good chance to drive it down and score in Turn 6 to make it 2-1. Then he’d get the kick off and have a decent chance of getting the equalizer. Once it was up 3-0, it was a done game. Hard to come back from that with a slow ogre.
BMAC: How you feel about your next game.
GG: I am playing Lone Bezerker which is coached by Azure. Bezerker is an intimating ton of mooing goring fury. I am also concerned because I know that he is the better coach. All I can hope for is that both my dwarfs are on the field and that one of them stays alive long enough to do some good. If I can keep the stupid coaching to a minimum, it should be close.
BMAC: Thanks for talking to us.
GG: My pleasure.
BMAC: Ok, that’s all the time we have for today. Tune in next week for another interview with Grumpy Grizzly and those Mighty Short Cakes.
”
BMAC: Hey guys, just finished watching your match and would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
SHORT: Thanks! Good to be here.
CAKE: Pretty lights!
BMAC: Yeah… So tell me about your Coach. Seems pretty new to the scene.
SHORT: Well GrumpyGrizzly is new to the big leages. But he’s been knocking around in the lower divisions for a while. Played since Nuffle first found the ball and never looked back. Founded the Corvallis Blood Bowl League. Then he lost interest in the game for a while. But the allure of 1v1 brought him back. He’s been playing about 25 games in the 1v1 division. In addition to over 100 games of 1v1 outside the league.
CAKE: Dwarf goooood!
BMAC: So he decided to try his hand at 2v2?
SHORT: Yeah, so he was pretty surprised when Master Bobo showed up without a second. But hey, I’m not going to complain. What kind of stupid dwarf would actually want to face TWO ogres on the pitch?
CAKE: Ogres are fun.
BMAC: Can you explain why… you’re teamate… WHAT IS HE DOING?
SHORT: Just means he likes you. Sure that’ll come out with a little ale.
BMAC: Can you explain why Cake wasn’t on the pitch for the first drive?
SHORT: Yeah… Dwarfstein over there forgot rule #1, don’t take candy from strangers. So he gobbed down rock candy that was tainted (and a rock) and next thing we know he’s moving faster than a Halfling at an “all the pie you can cram in your pie hole” contest. Except he’s heading for the bathroom. Moreley’s Revenge.
BMAC: So it’s just you and Bobo?
SHORT: Yeah, and let me tell you, that’s no fun at all. He knocks me down and runs for the ball. But he butter fingers it and now I’m in striking position. But coach decides that ending my turn next to the homical maniac is a good idea.
BMAC: I saw that. You got put on your back, but Master Bobo can’t pick up the ball?
CAKE: Was in little bezerker’s room!
SHORT: Yeah, there was a bit of trying to pick up the ball from both of us. Grumpy must have thought I was an elf or something. But then I caught a break and Bobo went all dumb on me. So I scooped up the ball and strutted in for a score.
BMAC: 1-0 at this point. But Cake didn’t come back out?
CAKE: Wasn’t done.
SHORT: So on the kickoff I told Bobo his shoelaces where untied. He stared down at them and got so confused because he didn’t HAVE any shoes on that he spent a while trying to figure it out. I scooted past him, grabbed the rock, but dropped it. Bobo came storming at me like a avalanche of dwarf pounding fury, but tripped over the shoelaces he didn’t have.
BMAC: So you scooted in for another score, making it 2-0. Cake finally managed to get out of the bathroom?
SHORT: Yeah, only to be beaned by a rock and fall on his face. Just wasn’t his half.
CAKE: Thrower needs groining!
BMAC: Second half saw a nice swing pass on the opening possession.
SHORT: Yeah, I ran off the LOS deep and Cake (somehow) made his rolls and drilled that sucker into me.
CAKE: I huck good!
BMAC: But it didn’t stay good.
SHORT: No… I got mauled by Bobo and you know what? Grumpy didn’t even have medical on hand! Mumbled something about “I know I forgot something”. Luckily I was only badly hurt and can play next game.
BMAC: So now it is just Cake and Bobo out there? We’re coming up on the key moment in the whole match. Talk us through it.
SHORT: With Bobo probably the smarter of the two, Short does one of the craziest things I have ever seen. Luckily he was dumb enough to follow what Grumpy told him to do, because it was really dumb. He pushed the ogre into the ball. Ball goes off the pitch and a Mighty Short Cakes fan tosses it back to the center of the pitch.
BMAC: Lucky break! You caught another as Bobo stubbed his toe and fell down. Then got confused about standing up again.
SHORT: Yeah, pure luck on that drive. Cake scooped it up and scampered in.
CAKE: Scoooooooore!
BMAC: Now the score is 3-0. The last drive seemed to run the same way as the first.
SHORT: Yeah Bobo put a good shot on Cake then ran for the ball. Cake gave him the choice “Dwarf on a stick, or the ball”. First drive, Bobo went for the ball, second he went for the dwarf.
BMAC: But both went down.
SHORT: Both went down. Cake hopped up and ran for the ball with Bobo hot on his boots. But Bobo, again, fell over something on the pitch. Cake scooped it up and got another TD.
CAKE: Scoooooooooooore!
BMAC: Game is over by this point. Congrats on your 4-0 win. We will be doing post game analysis with your coach, Grumpy Grizzly.
CAKE: Scooooooooooooooore!
BMAC: Security, get the idiot out of here!
[Sounds of 5 dwarfs jumping on Cake]
BMAC: Ok here with Grumpy Grizzly after that interruption.
GG: Ok, let’s get this done.
BMAC: What were the keys in this dominating win today?
GG: Biggest thing was that luck was just against kemimutt today. The luck meter had it 37% to 58%. But that did not tell anything near the whole story. He coached well, but there is little you can do if your player blows 3 bone head and 3 GFI rolls on key scoring drives.
BMAC: But luck wasn’t purely on your side either.
GG: Yeah. In a 2v2 match, I had only one dwarf on the field for all but 2 plays of the game. So it was mostly 1v1 with one of the worst 1v1 teams in the game.
BMAC: Explain the Apothecary issue.
GG: Quite simply I forgot to hire him. I don’t know why. In 1v1 it is the first thing I buy, but this time it just slipped my mind.
BMAC: Why is Cake’s TD in the second half, turn 2, so important? Short said that it was the key moment in the game.
GG: Simply put, I knew that if that Ogre got the ball picked up in a 1v1 situation he could drive it down the pitch in 3. I’d have to check the notes on exactly how man. With only one dwarf on the pitch, he’d have a good chance to drive it down and score in Turn 6 to make it 2-1. Then he’d get the kick off and have a decent chance of getting the equalizer. Once it was up 3-0, it was a done game. Hard to come back from that with a slow ogre.
BMAC: How you feel about your next game.
GG: I am playing Lone Bezerker which is coached by Azure. Bezerker is an intimating ton of mooing goring fury. I am also concerned because I know that he is the better coach. All I can hope for is that both my dwarfs are on the field and that one of them stays alive long enough to do some good. If I can keep the stupid coaching to a minimum, it should be close.
BMAC: Thanks for talking to us.
GG: My pleasure.
BMAC: Ok, that’s all the time we have for today. Tune in next week for another interview with Grumpy Grizzly and those Mighty Short Cakes.
”
Hey everyone, we have a special treat! Master Bobo has agreed to do an interview with us. Since he is a dangerous and homicidal maniac, we have decided to conduct this interview by mail.
Better Mines and Chainmail: Thank you very much Master Bobo for the interview.
Master Bobo: Bobo likes mail, but Bobos mom have to read for him. Bobos mom is nice to Bobo.
BMAC: Did you actually slip Cake candy that was tainted with Morely’s?
MB: No, I didnt slip. Was there cake and candy?
BMAC: The first TD was due to you getting very distracted. Short mentioned to us that he had told you that your shoe lace was untied. This seemed to really give you problems. For the match you stumbled three times and got very confused three times. Did the shoes have anything to do with it?
MB: He said someting ´bout showlazy, but Bobo is not lazy. Den the dorf pointed at Bobos feet but Bobo did not see anything there. Bobo can´t see his feet.
BMAC: Start of the second half, you nail Short something fierce and badly hurt him. How did that feel?
MB: I think it hurt. But he deserved it ´cause he stole my ball.
BMAC: What did you think that the ball gets thrown over you head and almost right to Cake?
MB: Dorfis cheated. They were more dan 2 players. 2 on da field and lots of dorfies in the stands.
------------------
BMAC: Now that we are done with Master Bobo, we got a chane to talk to kemimutt. Thanks for taking the time out of your Blood Bowl schedule to talk to us.
KM: No problem, always nice to give your point of view on a game.
BMAC: Grumpy Grizzly is on record as saying that the play where he pushed Master Bobo into the ball was the key moment in the game. Do you agree?
KM: Not really, I think the game was hopeless by then. Scoring more than once per turn with a slow ag-2 ogre is impossible. And as Bobo cant use rerolls he really have to get pro before he can compete for real.
BMAC: Our analysts believe with one less bone head and two less GFI problems, you are losing 2-1 or tied 2-2. Is it frustrating to be without rerolls?
KM: Even if I dont belive that I could score twice, It sure is frustrating to not have rerolls.
BMAC: In looking at your profile you state, “
Note to self: NEVER EVER play against dwarfs! Watching paint dry is more fun.” Care to elaborate?
KM: Dwarfs can only play bashy games, and they are the best team at it. But they are a bit too good and too slow. Dorfs come with all the skills they need from start and the highest av possible. One skill and they gets guard and never needs anything else. And all they want to do is get the ball to their cage and move 2 squares forward each turn. Does that sounds fun to you?
BMAC: Anything else you want to add about the match?
KM: Master Bobo has now trained his agility and will be much more capable in his next game! maybe even be able to pick up the ball once or twice!
BMAC: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us. Good luck next week against Betsy, the minotaur from Ice Ocean Warriors!
KM: I think that I will come out on top in that game. Dont miss it!
”