“We started the day with Ogres.

Big, smelly, dumb brutes with nasty, hairy paws. Just like me Da! (Oh yeah, I will pay for that joke when I get home. Hi Da! Just teasing!)

The lads and I held our own well, and Vile Oath was a wonder. He had been kind of quiet and standoffish in our first match, but against these oafs he came alive.

"Slap them in the knee!" he told us, and so we did, and damned if that didn't work. They spent so much time spinning around looking for their knees that they hardly touched the ball or us.

Stiffbeard had a run that I won't soon forget, scrambling on the loose ball, chugging down the sideline and, casual like, whacking a goblin I was blocking in the side of his skull with an elbow. The melon splitting sound is one I will treasure for a good long time. Not even breaking stride, Guulan finished in the End Zone with style, and the crowd gave him a big round of clapping.

And, I am not sure how to explain this, but I suddenly feel really comfortable on the pitch. Felt great all match, and feel really good as I write this down, heading to tonight's Match with some lads up north. A friendly, but we will still put on a show.

After all, we're paid professionals now.”