“Winners of Orcland Wooden Shield 8/07 - final
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I should have guessed that McMagnus would be lurking there in the final. We have a long history of Orca-Cola matches behind us, and although I have defied his higher CR and won more matches McMagnus dealt such a devastating ass kicking to my norse team earlier in the week that I was a bit afraid...and the beginning of the match didn't calm my nerves.

The Scrubs fo life won the kickoff, but the Wrath won the ref. A fair trade I thought, but that was before I knew what a horror show the first half should be. My proud khemri was simply bashed beyond imagination. McMagnus seemingly soft necros broke armor with just about every block during the first half and towards the end I had 7 players in my KO box and 3 regular skeletons remaining prone. Having the ref was by the way as useful as bringing the microwave over on a camping trip. The warewolves were like little supermen just laughing up at my skeletons who kicked their toes off on their prone bodies. I should have been in shock, but I have seen this before with mr McMagnus. When he beats me he tends to do so in a way that leaves my inner child crying.

Graciously he allowed me a ciggarette break during halftime. After touching the idea of throwing myself out the window I realized that I wouldn't succeed with suicide either, so instead I head for the fridge and lined up the cold ones. No, not the lizard steeds you warhammer nerds...beer!

Since I had maxed out on 16 players to allow myself to foul properly (none of the finalists had dp's...which is weak for necro and khemri teams) I could muster a full line-up. But it was not a very impressive one. 2 mummies were still in the KO box. Somehow against all odds I managed to cage myself across the pitch though. I was just waiting for Nuffle to shoot me down, but to my amazement I got some fortunate turns in and equalized in my 8th turn.

McMagnus got a lethal chance of an upset win anyway since the ref, despite sitting comfortably on my big bag o' bribe money, decided to rewind the time for injuries. Only a failed 1 dice block kept us alive for OT.

Here I got my big break. I won the kickoff AND got both my mummies back. A bad kick scattered the ball into the hands of Sekhet Imune, which I wasn't overwhelmed with. Scoring with a mummy deep on your own side is not as easy as it may seem. They are hard to knock down, but with MA 3 they are also very easy to box in. Slowly but steadily I inched my way across the pitch, at first aided with good fortune but towards the end ending up behind. With only 6 or so squares remaining McMagnus attempted a desperate -2d block with his ghoul. 2 * clean hit was like a fresh salt injection into my still bleeding wounds from the first half. It was clear. This would go to a coin toss. I don't win coin tosses.

But then it happened. Reality ruptured and Nuffle mistook me for someone else. I actually won! Not a great victory since a tournament final just shouldn't be solved by a coin toss, but none the less a vicory. And after what that rapist McMagnus did to my poor Groggers just days earlier I could allow myself to feel a bit justified.

Thanks for the match! After the first half I couldn't imagine this match ending up exciting and even less a win for me. I'm looking forward to our next battle. Then it's your turn to call for revenge! ;)”