“This match up between the stars of the silver screen and the sideways sliding very high elves was an interesting one. Consumption fielded the first kick off in beutiful blood bowl weather, and began their offensive drive. It all came crashing down as Bukowski, obvioulsy on a bender again, drunkenly fumbled the pick up, and then an easy pass making for an early turn over. Things looked good for the Leading Men but then Burt Lancaster tripped and fell flat right at the feet of Freud on their first move. Lancaster was obviously overcome by his inner demons, brought into the light by Freud's inspired analysis. Freud then calmly caught a trademark Townsend pass for an easy score.

The Leading Men's drive started well, gaining ground slowly and methodically in a cage, the Consumption boys managed to hold them up and it looked like maybe consumption would go into the half rime with a 1 point lead but Sammy Davis Jnr displayed the fancy footwork and very sexy shoes that made him famous and streaked through the last few defenders to score.

Turn 7 of the first half and Consumption are so busy rolling the half time doobies that they are taken completley by suprise at the kick off. Blinking red eyed and confused as the Leading Men ran a quick blitz. Happily Carlos Estaban's coke fuelled fury held them up for long enough for reinforcments to amble over and act confused near the ball, stopping the score.

The Copious Consumption coach withheld all access to hallucenegenic drugs during the half time break. A tactic which meant that recievers would occasionally try and catch balls that actually existed and that the guy throwing the ball wouldnt get spooked by the big pink dinosaur that follows him about sometimes. Aldous Huxley even found himself in the opposition half with the ball and wandered into the goal at one point. But the lack of drugs did detract from his squads ability to stop the opposition. Seems Copious Consumption relies on intuition and "good vibes" to defend and the absence of mind bending drugs means no good vibes. They weren't helped by James Dean's super passing arm. He connected with Sammy Davis Jnr, who is a remarkably good catcher considering how cock eyed he is, twice for score's.

Consumption could have led the match just before full time, a pass in traffic to Sasha Shulgin, who dodged and danced his way down field. It looked promising for a long awaited Consumption win. The 'Dont give the whining freaks any gear untill they score" tactic seemed to be paying off! But Shulgin, inventor of the synthetic mescaline 2cb, man responsible for the popularisation of MDMA, and originator of several hundred Phenethylamines can not be kept sober by the dictates of any man, even the head coach. He had sampled a new batch of compounds secretly during the half and as he raced towards the goal the full weight of his intake struck. Crushing waves of paranoia and psychosis had him convinced that his hand was actually an evil alien prince from the planet Zarkon, desperate to be free of the evil influence and with no materials at hand he took the only option he saw. He gnawed his right arm off at the wrist. This injury took him out from the game and will continue to effect his carrer. Truly, he tripped and was injured....
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