“A crowd of 75,000 bloodthirsty fans showed today at the Blackspine Grand Arena to see the St Louis Hams and Malus’s Madness collide. Before the game even begins, Orlando Pain was mugged by a crowd of Goblins and in the ensuing struggle, managed to kill several of the assailants, but was in turn detained by the authorities and was not able to play the game. It is suspected that the Goonies were in fact behind the attack, no doubt spurred on by a sizable bribe from coach Lucky_Eddy.

The Orcs kick to the Dark Elves and manage to reorganize their defense before the Madness can set in. It is all for naught though as Malus and his crew use their unfailable agility to out position the Hams and set up Yasmir in the endzone with no defenders. The next move sees the Madness scoring in turn 3 on a pass from the midline.

The second drive starts with a kick by the Dark Elves landing just past the line of scrimmage. Gus Garrotte grabs the ball and passes off to a Blitzer who moves across the backfield and leaves himself in a vulnerable position, which the dark elves quickly take advantage of, knocking the ball away. Marc Bludger then grabs the ball back and passes to another blitzer, Gory Holt, who moves across the midline while a teammate throws a foul on the ST4 Witch Elf, Yasmir. Holt then uses his deft foot work to juke his defender and make a dash to the endzone, bringing the score to 1-1 in the 5th turn.

After kicking off to the Malus and his Dark Elves again, the Witch Elf Yasmir decides to sacrifice herself to the Hams at the feet of Marshall Fang, knowing that it is coming anyway. But Coach Eddy doesn’t think it is his time to go and uses his apoth to keep Yasmir on the field. The turnover caused by the Witch Elfs injury allows the Orcs to rethink their defense and put some pressure on the ball carrier in the backfield. Upon taking his feet again, Yasmir again prostrates herself below Marshall Fang and receives a second serious groin injury, getting herself a stretcher off the field. Again taking advantage of the turnover, the Hams retrieve the ball on a blitz and rookie blitzer Claude Terror scoops it up and scores on the last play before the half, earning his first skill.

The second half sees the Madness kicking off to the Hams, who are now up 2-1. Coach Lucky_Eddy prophesies that a change is coming, and mysteriously a rock comes flying from the crowd, smashing Issac Bruise in the face, fortunately it was only a bruise. The ball lands right on the edge of the sideline, near the midline. The Hams begin pushing Darkies around and Marc Bludger grabs the ball and tosses it to Gus, but his rookie hands fumble it, though it manages to land between a gaggle of orcs, safe for now. A couple of blocks back and forth and Gus Garotte manages to get his hands on the ball and move up toward the midline hiding behind the massive bulk of troll Andy McKillem with Claude Terror blocking from behind. The wiley elves quickly surround the ball carrier but cant manage to take the ball from Gus. The Hams set up a very complicated misdirection and screening play, but Gus dosent realize that his shoelace is untied and he goes down and drops the ball. The Madness takes advantage of this mistake and grab the ball and move downfield, making a defensive shield around their ball carrier. The Hams make a desperate attempt to catch ball carrying Malus, but to no avail. Malus and his Madness set up a handoff play to allow Isilvar to score a TD for a skill, but in the chaos of the play, the ball is fumbled and bounces back and forth between the players before Isilvar manages to grab it while standing in the End Zone. Touchdown, score tied 2-2.
As the ball is kicked again, a rock is thrown from the crowd again, followed by the chant, “This is for Yasmir!” The stone connects firmly with Marshall Fang’s foot, causing a serious injury and potential loss of movement, but the Hams team doc moves quick and the injury is averted! The Hams block some space and Gus Garotte scoops up the ball and moves forward. A desperate blitz by team leader Malus knocks Gus down but in his attempt to pick up the ball, he falls himself. Marc Bludger grabs the ball and moves up with Drunken Little running interference. Trying to gain positional advantage, blodger Gory Holt falls while trying to dodge, ending the turn and allowing Malus to move into position to mark Marc. Other Dark Elves dodge their way in but the blitz on the ball carrier only results in a push back, though the rest of the Dark Elves blocks result in POWs until Isilvar falls trying to dodge away from a couple of mean Black Orc’s. Using uncanny speed and agility, the Hams manage to gain the field advantage again and sneaky Marc Bludger slips away from his defenders and tosses the ball downfield to wide open Issac Bruise. All in all, the best turn of the game for the Hams, working out of a bad backfied situation and ending in a decent scoring position. The only downside to this turn was the sad Andy McKillem who forgot what he was doing for the first time in the game and just stood there, picking his nose. The Dark Elves head into the end of the game looking at an Orc with the ball in scoring position and no way to get to him. A valiant effort on the part of Malus and his Madness, but the Darkies fail a dodge in trying to get close to the ball and Issac is able to score unhindered in turn 8. The Hams kicked off one final time to the Dark Elves but decide that they needed one more turn on offense and blitzed, causing one stun and moving a few players around. The Madness quickly scooped up the ball and made their pass, gaining the thrower a skill in the process. A couple of blocks were thrown, but nothing really accomplished before the final whistle was blown.

The final score for NWL Veteran Division Round 3, St Louis Hams 3 vs 2 Malus’s Madness.
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