“With trepidation the goblins of Bouncing Carnage showed up for their first match, eyeing both the chainsaws of the Asylum and the huge maws of their squigs. The Asylum won the toss, and the goblins shuffled up to the line, trying to stay away from the towering minotaurs. With an omnious "vrooom" the halflings started their chainsaws, but then disaster struck - for the halflings!

Their boss, Twisted Jack, threw a perfect pass to another halfling, who unfortunately was not expecting it at all and got hit in the back of his head. The Carnage were quick to grab opportunity and shake it when it appeared, and they got to the ball while the squigs went after the chainsaws. A quick score later, and the goblins had some confidence - especially when the ref sent of both chainsaws! The goblins were raring to go, and with a Blitz! they poured on to the Asylum half and grabbed the ball again to go up by two.

The ref had obviously not read the memo that squigs are classified as illegal weapons, and the squigs stayed on the pitch until the last drive of the game. The second half didn't go any better for the Asylum, and with a methodical march up the left side of the field the Carnage went up 3-0. A squig even managed to grab a huge bite of the innards of a minotaur, but the beast managed to pull itself together on the sidelines in a display of dark power. With another Blitz! the Carnage went at the hapless Asylum players again. Poor Twisted Jack froze when he saw Fang and Maw bouncing towards him and didn't manage to secure the ball! Gobfuzz ran in behind the squigs and grabbed the ball for the final score.

The Carnage celebrated their first win, and, almost as important, that the squigs hadn't eaten any of them!”