“Ruth, 14 Zombie
"Did you see that crap? Did you see that utter disaster? That was why I defected. The Outlaws are playing worse and worse, not like the team I first established together. Ever since we got those Witch Elves the team is going down here. Why arent those women at home making me a brainwich? I mean...Sandwich. But now I have a team to rebuild in my own image. Dead. That was a joke. Why arent you laughing? No matter. Watch the Outlaws go to the dumps now without me."
Pimp Daddy, 14 Golem (and unchallenged captain)
"*backhands Ruth* You shut yo mouf, ho. You workin' fo me now. You make ME money, and dats it. I'm puttin you to work. So go out there and learn the trade. *cracks knuckles* Who said I was usin' brass knuckles? Let me show you I dun need em...*chases after someone*"
Furrball in Tights, 14 Werewolf
"Cant say I didnt try. Carried it in early to take the awwoooo-oo-oooo! Lead. Kept a few elves down. Awooo! Maybe n-awoo-oo-o-oooo...next awoo-oooo-oo. NEXT TIME will look better. *kicks Funky Funkster* GET UP ALREADY! Awoooo!"
Policeman Fabulous, 14 Zombie
"Oh. My. GOD! Did we just get an Elf on our team? We totally did, girlfriend. Oh my. And what a fine piece of meat it is, too. Hubba hubba. I cant wait for the after game shower. MHM! *makes a towel snapping motion* I knew signing up for this team was the best thing ever. So exciting! *prances off to the locker room*"
“"Bring it, bitch!"
---Ruth, Dark Age Outlaw Team Captain (MVP) in his last statement before Pimp Daddys knuckles smashed his skull in
"Outlaws, let us remember our dear vile leader, Boss Ruth, and share our favourite memories of him. I'll start: He once told me I was only the second most ugly untolerable and disgustingly untalented bastard of a Blue Sky Bomber and a goblin whore he ever met. My heart glows warmly at the memory."
---Eden Price, Dark Age Outlaws Blitzer
"If you know one Ruth story, you know them all. Ruth walked into a bar / Remember that one time in assassin camp / Back when he was a young orphan and the police were investigating him for the murder of his father and mother YADDA YADDA YADDA. Great stories all of them... but they all end the same: And Ruth lived happily ever after and everyone else he ever met cried himself to sleep each and everyone night for the rest of their lifes."
---Jayne, Dark Age Outlaws Witch
"Remember that one time Ruth asked me what motivates me to give my best out there every game and I said: I play to win the heart of the girl I love? And the next time I scored two touchdowns in a game he congraulated me and gave me a wrapped gift with the cut out heart of said girl inside? Remember it? Because I sure do. Since Ruth never grew tired of reminding me and reminding me and reminding me.... oh how we laughed."
---Starr, Dark Age Outlaws
"Awwww, all those fond memories, those were the days. The best time of our lifes. And so long ago. Makes me feel like an old man just reminiscing about them--- OH SHIT! I JUST AGED! Now see what your stupid nostalgia did to me. Bugger."
---Butcher, Dark Age Outlaws Lineboy
"Err, guys, I think we might have a problem here. I just got a note from Ruth. Says he's still our team captain. Just because he's dead or not exactly alive doesn't mean he'll stop ordering us around. He expects us to turn up bright and early tomorrow for our training and he'll tell us the tactics for our next game. And, oh, the apothecary is fired. Well, he's the boss!"
---Desmond Hill, Dark Age Outlaws Blitzer
"BLYYYAAARRRRRGH"
---dying sound of former Outlaw medic, now deceased”
Click on the charts to toggle relative statistics.
"Did you see that crap? Did you see that utter disaster? That was why I defected. The Outlaws are playing worse and worse, not like the team I first established together. Ever since we got those Witch Elves the team is going down here. Why arent those women at home making me a brainwich? I mean...Sandwich. But now I have a team to rebuild in my own image. Dead. That was a joke. Why arent you laughing? No matter. Watch the Outlaws go to the dumps now without me."
Pimp Daddy, 14 Golem (and unchallenged captain)
"*backhands Ruth* You shut yo mouf, ho. You workin' fo me now. You make ME money, and dats it. I'm puttin you to work. So go out there and learn the trade. *cracks knuckles* Who said I was usin' brass knuckles? Let me show you I dun need em...*chases after someone*"
Furrball in Tights, 14 Werewolf
"Cant say I didnt try. Carried it in early to take the awwoooo-oo-oooo! Lead. Kept a few elves down. Awooo! Maybe n-awoo-oo-o-oooo...next awoo-oooo-oo. NEXT TIME will look better. *kicks Funky Funkster* GET UP ALREADY! Awoooo!"
Policeman Fabulous, 14 Zombie
"Oh. My. GOD! Did we just get an Elf on our team? We totally did, girlfriend. Oh my. And what a fine piece of meat it is, too. Hubba hubba. I cant wait for the after game shower. MHM! *makes a towel snapping motion* I knew signing up for this team was the best thing ever. So exciting! *prances off to the locker room*"
Ruth, 14 Zombie
"..."
”