“Gnoblar, a strange mix of gnome, goblin and feldspar! (what? are you sure this is right!?)

What exactly are they? No one knows! But they have fielded a couple of deranged ogres and a few of them have nets that the ref assures me are legal as they are part of their 'standard uniform'. Why didn't we think of that!?

They come out on the pitch for the kick off, and what's this- they are TINY! A-hahaha! Ha Ha! Our 'little' goblins fall off their squigs laughing at the little runts. This should be hilarious!!

They grab the ball and move upfield in a furious mass of crazed gnoblars. Hmm, how do we get in exactly?! Well instead we ignore the ball and succesfully blitz and seriously injure the lesser of the two ogres! Their apothecary comes out to save him but our subs grab him and roll him up in a carpet, hiding him under the subs bench, sneaksy little goblins har har!

The other bigger meaner ogre (with block) is more of a pain but when we are forced to blitz him away from the ball he too falls prey to squig teeth with a second SI! That's both ogres out for this and the next game after just a block on each. Clearly our pre-match Nuffle sacrifice (squig babies) has appeased him! Without their ogres the poor gnoblars are clearly in trouble and we easily run in a touchdown at the end of half. The second half we have the clear advantage and score again on turn 4 when the remaining 5 or 6 enemy players stay lying down rather than face any more punching. The goblin fans are so incensed by this Ghandi style of pacifist rebellion they invade the pitch, scragging the ref!

We easily run in our third touchdown to win the game without further injuries on either side, much to the screaming fans disappointment.

Thanks for the game Crik, there wasn't much you could do after the lucky ogre casualties.”