“Man of the Match:Robert de Kuechenberg

Furious coach Rockie locked the players in the dressing room for over 20 minutes to hold an inquest after this debacle. When the shell shocked players emerged, some seemed to be sporting bruises that were not gained during the match, those that agreed to be interviewed said the Head Coaches post-match tirade was far scarier than facing a team of psychopathic Chaos Dwarves and Hobgoblins. The Dauphins can take no positives from this game at all. As coach Rockie put it in his post-game press conference "we couldn't block, we couldn't pass, we couldn't pick up the ball, we couldn't run... heck by the end we even had trouble walking. We stank worse than Nurgle in summer. There's a lot of bruised egos as well as bones in the dressing room today, and not one of them did a thing to deserve my sympathy, this was an almighty wake-up call".

It would be hard to think of a game where more could have gone wrong. In a cagey first half Monamie managed to hold their own and avoid being steamrollered by the 'boys cage, but in the second half the offensive team collapsed in spectacular fashion. A kick-off blitz by the Chaos Dwarves unsettled the Dauphins and forced them to alter their game plan, but they then seemed to crack under this pressure. Fatally they twice fumbled the ball in situations where it could have been easily recovered. Taking advantage of this confusion the Chaos Dwarves pummelled them with brutal blocks, with most of the Dauphins being stretchered off. The Armishboys couldn't believe their luck as they sauntered into the endzone with only the brave Mercury Maurice opposing them. After some good results in recent weeks this result is sure to affect team morale, coach Rockie and the Dauphins will have to regroup, and quickly!”