“Coach Da_Todfatha steps up to the podium, slowly and deliberately opens a small piece of parchment and begins to speak. "Wez iz a nashun surrounded by wallz, who's gonna guard doze wallz, youz?" at this point he stops, his eyes quickly scan the rest of the parchment before he folds it up and tucks it into the inside pocket of his jacket. Looking a bit embarrassed he quietly explains "Wrong speech, hur hur" He then reaches into the other side of his jacket and removes another piece of folded parchment.

This time upon perusing the message written there, he nods to himself and begins by clearing his throat. "ahem. Here we go. I would like to thank the bowlgame commission for seeing their way clear to pit us against the Fairies of Boise State once again. I would like to, but I can't. I would like to thank Nuffle for not Nuffling us too bad today. I would also like to thank the Druid's guild for providing their new and improved Rooting Formula which we provided to the easily bribed groundskeepers to treat the field with prior to the bowl game's kickoff. Thanks go out to the Pain State Equipment manager for only forgetting half of our kit today instead of all of it, and also thanks to the Wyche's Guild for their training camp on how to hurt small squishy things."

At this point the crowd of reporters begins uproariously blurting out questions before Da Coach recognizes one by pointing at him:

"Coach, There seemed to be a point in the 2nd half where the refs may have turned a blind eye to some cheap shots aimed at your team, could you comment on that?"

"You know the Referee Guild has not been on my "Friends of the Waaagh" list in several seasons, I feel this game was a travesty from that standpoint, but you can look at the cabalvision replay and make your own decision."

"Coach, what about the boot your squad landed on the Treeman Iron Zabrasky?"

"Look, we were trying to help him back up, the bootprint on his forehead aside, I think you will find little evidence to support the claim of a cheapshot."

"In closing, I would just like to say that despite the obvious genetic, and strategic superiority of the orcish species over the Fairies and their ilk, we have had a rough going vs. Boise State. They are a hard nut to crack, and they are coached extremely well, so we will take this bowlgame victory and ride it into next season. We will be doing some off-season recruiting and hopefully we will be able to compete for a national title, or at least ruin someone else's season."

"Now let's go party!!! Fungus Beer and Squigtatas for EVERYONE!!!"”